 | The Antipodes |  |
Scene. 5.
Enter a Beggar, and a Gallant.Dia.
What's here, what's here?
A Courtier, or some gallant practising
The beggars trade, who teaches him I thinke.
Let.
Y'are something neare the subject.
Beg.
Sir excuse me, I have
From time to time supplyed you without hope,
Or purpose to receive least retribution
From you, no not so much as thankes or bare
Acknowledgement of the free benefits,
I have confer'd upon you.
Gal.
Yet good unkle.
Beg.
Yet doe you now when that my present store
Responds not my occasions, seeke to oppresse me
With vaine petitionary breath, for what I may not
Give without feare of dangerous detriment?
Dia.
In what a phrase the ragged Orator
Displayes himselfe.
Let.
The Beggars are the
Most absolute Courtiers in th'Antipodes.
Gal.
If not a peece, yet spare me halfe a peece
For goodnesse sake good sir, did you but know
My instant want, and to what vertuous use,
I would distribute it, I know you would not
Dia.
And how feelingly
He begges; then as the beggers are the best
Courtiers, it seemes the Courtiers are best beggers
In the Antipodes; how contrary in all
Are they to us?
Beg.
Pray to what vertuous uses
Would you put money to now, if you had it?
Gal.
I would bestow a crowne in Ballads,
Love-pamphlets, and such poeticall Rarities,
To send downe to my Lady Grandmother.
She's very old you know, and given much
To contemplation; I know she'l send me for 'em,
In Puddings, Bacon, Sowse and Pot-Butter
Enough to keepe my chamber all this winter.
So shall I save my fathers whole allowance
To lay upon my backe, and not be forc'd
To shift out from my study for my victualls.
Dia.
Belike he is some student.
Beg.
There's a crowne.
Gal.
I would bestow another crowne in
Hobby-horses, and Rattles for my Grand-father,
Whose legges and hearing faile him very much,
Then to preserve his sight a Jack-a-lent,
In a greene sarsnet suite, he'l make my father
To send me one of Scarlet, or hee'l cry
His eyes out for't.
Dia.
Oh politique young student.
Beg.
I have but just a fee left for my Lawyer;
If he exact not that, Ile give it thee.
Dia.
He'l take no fee (that's sure enough young man)
Of beggars, I know that.
Let.
You are deceiv'd.
Dia.
Ile speake to him my selfe else to remit it.
Ioy.
You will not sure, will you turne Actor too?
Pray doe, be put in for a share amongst em?
Dia.
How must I be put in?
Ioy.
The Players will quickly
Shew you, if you performe your part; perhaps
Let.
Fye Master Ioylesse, y'are too fowle.
Ioy.
My Lord,
She is too faire it seemes in your opinion,
For me, therefore if you can finde it lawfull,
Keepe her; I will be gone.
Let.
Now I protest
Sit and sit civilly, till the play be done,
Ile lock thee up else, as I am true Letoy.
Ioy.
Nay I ha' done—Whistles Fortune my foe.
Law.
Give me my fee, I cannot heare you else.
Beg.
Sir I am poore, and all I get, is at
The hands of charitable givers; pray sir.
Law.
You understand me sir, your cause is to be
Pleaded to day, or you are quite orethrowne in't.
The Judge by this tyme is about to sit.
Keepe fast your money, and forgoe your wit.
Exit.
Beg.
Then I must follow, and entreate him to it,
Poore men in law must not disdaine to doe it.
Exit.
Gal.
Doe it then, Ile follow you and heare the cause.
Exit.
Dia.
True Antipodians still, for as with us,
The Gallants follow Lawyers, and the beggers them;
The Lawyer here is follow'd by the begger,
While the gentleman followes him.
Let.
The morall is, the Lawyers here prove beggers,
And beggers only thrive by going to law.
Dia.
How takes the Lawyers then the beggers money?
And none else by their wills?
Let.
They send it all
Up to our lawyers, to stop their mouths,
That curse poore Clyents that are put upon 'em.
In forma Pauperis.
Dia.
In truth most charitable,
But sure that money's lost by'th way sometimes.
Yet sweet my Lord, whom doe these beggers beg of,
That they can get aforehand so for law?
Who are their benefactors?
Let.
Usurers, Usurers.
Dia.
Then they have Usurers in th'Antipodes too?
Yes Usury goes round the world, and will doe,
Till the generall conversion of the Jewes.
Dia.
But ours are not so charitable I feare.
Who be their Usurers?
Let.
Souldiers, and Courtiers chiefly;
And some that passe for grave and pious Chruch-men.
Dia.
How finely contrary th'are still to ours.
| The Antipodes | |