A Selection from the Works of Frederick Locker With illustrations by Richard Doyle |
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LITTLE PITCHER.
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 | A Selection from the Works of Frederick Locker |  |
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LITTLE PITCHER.
(A BIRTHDAY ODE.)
The Muses, those painstaking Mentors of mine,
Observe that to-day Little Pitcher is nine!
'Tis her fête—so, although retrospection is pleasant,
While we muse on her Past, we must think of her Present.
Observe that to-day Little Pitcher is nine!
'Tis her fête—so, although retrospection is pleasant,
While we muse on her Past, we must think of her Present.
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A Gift!—In their praise she has raved, sung, and written,
Still, I don't seem to care for pup, pony, or kitten;
Though their virtues I've heard Little Pitcher extol:
She's too old for a watch, and too young for a doll!
Still, I don't seem to care for pup, pony, or kitten;
Though their virtues I've heard Little Pitcher extol:
She's too old for a watch, and too young for a doll!
Of a worthless old Block she's the dearest of Chips,
For what nonsense she talks when she opens her lips.
Then her mouth—when she's happy—indeed, it appears
To laugh at the tips of her comical ears.
For what nonsense she talks when she opens her lips.
Then her mouth—when she's happy—indeed, it appears
To laugh at the tips of her comical ears.
Her Ears,—Ah, her Ears!—I remember the squallings
That greeted my own ears, when Rambert and Lawlings
Were boring (as I do) her Organs of Hearing—
Come, I'll give her for each of those Organs an Earring.
That greeted my own ears, when Rambert and Lawlings
Were boring (as I do) her Organs of Hearing—
Come, I'll give her for each of those Organs an Earring.
Here they are! They are formed of the two scarabæi
That I bought of the old contadino at Veii.
They cost me some pauls, but, as history shows,
For what runs through the Ears, we must pay through the Nose.
That I bought of the old contadino at Veii.
They cost me some pauls, but, as history shows,
For what runs through the Ears, we must pay through the Nose.
And now, Little Pitcher, give ear to my rede,
And guard these two gems with a scrupulous heed,
For think of the woeful mishap that befel
The damsel who dropt her pair into a well.
And guard these two gems with a scrupulous heed,
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The damsel who dropt her pair into a well.
That poor Little Pitcher would gladly have flown,
Or given her Ears to have let well alone;
For when she got home her Instructress severe
Dismissed her to bed with a Flea in her Ear.
Or given her Ears to have let well alone;
For when she got home her Instructress severe
Dismissed her to bed with a Flea in her Ear.
What? Tell you that tale? Come, a tale with a sting
Would be rather too much of an excellent thing!
I can't point a moral—or sing you the song—
My Years are too short—and your Ears are too long.
Would be rather too much of an excellent thing!
I can't point a moral—or sing you the song—
My Years are too short—and your Ears are too long.
| A Selection from the Works of Frederick Locker | |