The collected writings of Dougal Graham "Skellat" Bellman of Glasgow: edited with notes: Together with a Biographical and Bibliographical Introduction, and a Sketch of the Chap Literature of Scotland: by George MacGregor: In two volumes |
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 | II. |
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THE WITTY AND ENTERTAINING EXPLOITS OF GEORGE BUCHANAN.
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 | The collected writings of Dougal Graham |  |
THE WITTY AND ENTERTAINING EXPLOITS OF GEORGE BUCHANAN.
245
His SPEECH to his Executioners.
Here's a female band with bags of stones,To kill a man for rumple groans.
I'm clean of rapine, blood, and thefts,
Could I convert my farts to rifts;
Since I, the first, for farting die,
Close up the place from whence they fly;
To commit my crime, I think ye'll scarce,
If once you do cork up your arse.
And now since women stones do carry,
Men need not in the world tarry.
Judge if such women be chaste complete,
With forty stones between their feet.
But since 'tis so, ye will come on,
The greatest whore throw the first stone.
270
[Your servant, master wise man]
Your servant, master wise man,
And yet you have no books:
How can one have knowledge,
That no man instructs?
And yet you have no books:
How can one have knowledge,
That no man instructs?
Your servant, master bishop,
Your salutation's good:
Your knowledge is in your library,
While other's is in their hood.
Your salutation's good:
Your knowledge is in your library,
While other's is in their hood.
Good night, hail master bishop,
Of books you have great store;
Yet cannot read the half of them;
Then what use are they for?
Of books you have great store;
Yet cannot read the half of them;
Then what use are they for?
272
MOTTO
Here sits the bishop of Canterbury,Who at the schools disdain'd to tarry,
Far better skill'd at games than preaching.
Although he lives by others teaching
Blind leaders of the blind indeed;
'Tis blind and lame who chariots need,
Six brutes with eyes, this brute doth carry,
I mean the bishop of Canterbury.
My feet being lame, I gave a dollar,
To be drove in state like you a scholar;
For which, myself I do abhor;
Shame caus'd me make another door.
279
[My honour'd liege, and sovereign king]
My honour'd liege, and sovereign king,Of your boasting great, I dread nothing:
On your feud or favour I'll fairly venture:
E'er that day I'll be where few kings will enter.
| The collected writings of Dougal Graham | |