Maggots :: :: University of Virginia Library

Thatcher.
Down, down to the Clod out of which thou art made
Nor with Tinder-box-hoof my Ladder invade
The Pot shall be mine in spight of thy Spade

Gardener.
And dares the poor Thatcher with the Gardener vye
Sure his Noddle's grown giddy with sitting so high
Let our Titles be try'd by the next that comes by

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Thatcher.
Content! (Gardener,) And content; and look over the plain,
Where Cuddy the Shepherd comes trotting amain:
Who but he should decide which is best of the twain?

Thatcher.
Tho' a Shepherd may be partial, he's honest and true,
He's old, and he's grave, and he Justice will do,
And Cuddy will be equal to me and to you.

Gardener.
But look, he's just here: pr'y thee tell him the Tale;

Thatcher.
Stay, Cuddy, and judge whether Trade must prevail,
For the best of our two wins a Pot of good Ale.

Cuddy.
I'll stay while I can, but then quickly begin,
As either expect the Honour to win!
For my Landlord in haste has sent for me in.

Gardener.
Once straining of Complements now would be vain,
The eldest and noblest of Trades I'le maintain;

Thus demonstrated.—Cain built a City before any Iron-work was invented; he could not therefore have Tiles to cover it:—Ergo, 'twas done with Thatch, or somewhat equivalent.

Gardener was Adam, but a Thatcher was Cain.

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Thatcher.
Not so fast Mr. Gard'ner! with Reeds and with Boughs
His Father before him had cover'd a House

Dubartas in his Poem of the Creation, describes Adam's rude draught of building in that manner.

Sure you dare not deny what Dubartas a vows

Gardener.
The Hero's from Gardens and Solitudes came
And sallying from thence fill'd the World with their Name
But who ever heard of a Thatcher of Fame?

Thatcher.

Epicurus his Study and Schools being in a Garden, was so notorious, that his Principles are thence call'd,—The Doctrine of [the Garden.]

Epicurus indeed from a Garden did rise,
But Atheism never can a Thatcher surprize,

This even the Epicureans confess a strung Inducement to the belief of a supream Being, the Author of the World; and therefore give their Followers a Caution against it. So Lucretius, Book 5. p. 141.

For even those few exalted Souls that know
The Gods must live at ease, not look below;
Free from all medling Cares, from hate and love;
If they admire, if view the World above,
They wonder how those glorious Beings move.
They are entrap'd, they bind their slavish Chain,
And sink to their religious Fears again.

Mr. Creeches Translation.

Since he alwayes is viewing the Sun and the Skys.

Gardener.
From the tops of their Houses Ægyptians must own

If the Gardener puts a fallacy on the Thatcher, let him look to it himself; I only am to explain his meaning thus far,—That in Ægypt, from the tops of their houses the Ægyptians frequently used to view the Heavens, living in a Champain Countrey.—Hence Astronomy, and as some say, Idolatry.

To the rest of the World Idolatry's flown
And too many Gods are scarce better than none

Thatcher.
If you're driven into Ægypt, and fly from the Greek
Very far from your Lodge, one need not go seek

Part of the worshipful God-heads of Ægypt, which, tho' of the two more tolerable than the Crocodile; yet, had Horace liv'd there, or many others, they had certainly, as to that point of the Compass, turn'd Atheists.

To find out the omnipotent Onion and Leek

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Gardener.
Their Trophies Kings, Captains and Emperors bring,
And all over-board for one Shovel they fling;
But who ever heard of a Thatcher a King?

Thatcher.
The Gallows and Garden when all other means fails!

When Dyonisius the Tyrant of Sicily was expell'd, he went to Corinth, and there set up School-master.

Thus Dennis when scap'd from Sicilian Jayls,
Fell from cutting of throats to cutting of tails.

Gardener.
Each Beggar the name of the Thatcher can tell,
For nothing you're fit but a Cottage and Cell;
I with Princes and Lords by their Palaces dwell.

Thatcher.
Thatch keeps out all Care as well as all Cold.
Besides by my Grandsire I've often been told,

The Church of Glastenbury, the ancientest certainly in England, if the Monks do'nt lie, was built, the sides with Hurdles, and thatcht with Straw.

That Straw has been Cov'ring for Churches of old.

Gardener.
Scarce once in a Moon you mount from the ground,
And another Trade too, or you'll starve, must be found,
I ha' still pleasant work that holds all the year round.

Thatcher.
No doubt on't; and Winter must never infest
Your fortunate Regions with Summer still blest,

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Nor fix you like a Cuckow clung up in his Nest!

Cuddy.
Brave Boys, both! so well you each other abuse,
There's hardly between you a halter to chuse
I judge that to make one another amends,
I drink off the Ale, you shake hands and be Friends.