Let us focus our stances on the
abundant merits of Memorial
Gymnasium. As the very name
implies, it is a memorial. In this
time of national turmoil let us look
to the luminous examples of
Thomas Jefferson, James Madison,
and James Monroe. But how, you
may ask, does this concern Memorial
Gymnasium? Well, sir, the same
facilities that nourished our American
forebears now nourish us. I can
hardly describe to you the electric
feeling of wonder that courses
through my veins when I play
basketball on the same court that
Jefferson used; when I lift the same
weights that Monroe hoisted; when
I plunge into the same pool that
Madison used. Sir, I can hardly
describe to you the reverent awe I
felt when told that the very
building I use to play paddle-ball
was once Thomas Jefferson's stable.
Some no doubt think I live in
the past. I view the past as a
touchstone for the present. The
lessons of former great Americans
should be incorporated into our
present mode of living. But Memorial
Gymnasium is not simply a
moribund replica of past glories. It
is a living testament to the present. Consider, sir, one's weekly experiences
in utilizing Memorial Gymnasium.
There is always the element
of suspense. Devotees of the pool
know not when the pool is really
open. Certainly the administrators
of the gym post schedules for
student use of the pool but these
are only clever subterfuges to test
the student's patience. For example,
a student who spends hours of
diligent research in the library and
eagerly awaits a relaxing swim
inevitably finds the pool closed.
But they are only selfish and
narrow-minded.
Memorial Gym, however, is
designed to give one a well-rounded
physical experience. Those who
elect to run laps on the track
experience a refreshing change
when preschool lots slide down the
wooden incline. In this way the
runner is literally forced to sharpen
his hurdling skills. Those in the
graduate school are often encouraged
to give up their interest in
basketball in order to allow other
preschool lots use of the courts.
College and graduate students
should seek more strenuous activities.
Therefore the administrators
wisely counsel use of the weight
room. But here, too, the student
receives an additional service from
the sagacious administrators. It
seems that these wise men have
contracted with the half million or
so preschool lots who are not
engaged on the basketball court or
the track to help out in the weight
room. In carrying out their motto,
"Nothing in excess," the administrators
realize that students who are
successively frustrated at the pool
and basketball court might overexert
themselves. Hence they employ
the lots to prevent the students
from too much exertion on various
muscle-building apparati. Surely the
wisdom of Memorial Gymnasium
administrators knows no bounds.
