University of Virginia Library

Eliminate Eliminators

Up to now I've really gotten a
kick out of Student Council elections.
I guess the reason I've
enjoyed them so much is because
they were so easy. All I had to
do was show up at one of the
little boxes, sign my name for the
watchman in the three-piece suit,
and pick a name, any name (I
often flipped a coin), and leave
with conscience eased and troubles
over. I had done my part. But
this year everything has changed.
Two punks are actually threatening
to represent me. They actually
want to do something. So now,
instead of feeling I've helped some
lucky look-alikes get into law
school somewhere, or at least given
them the opportunity to learn the
value of growing old gracefully
while writing nice, polite letters
to whatever administrator happened
to be in the routine for that
week (imagine the prayerful consideration
those letters received on
they way to the permanent files
of assorted wastebaskets!), I've got
to worry about two idiots who are
going to mean something even after
the election is over and they have
won. Isn't there any way to have
the names of Messrs. Chandler
and Mudock removed from the
ballot, before my lethargy is completely
destroyed by the Anarchists?