All the workes of Iohn Taylor the Water-Poet Being Sixty and three in Number. Collected into one Volume by the Author [i.e. John Taylor]: With sundry new Additions, corrected, reuised, and newly Imprinted |
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Plutoes Proclamation concerning his Infernall pleasure for the Propagation of Tobacco.
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 | All the workes of Iohn Taylor the Water-Poet |  |
Plutoes Proclamation concerning his Infernall pleasure for the Propagation of Tobacco.
True Newes & strange my Muse intends to write,
From horrid concaues of eternall night:
Whereas a damned Parlament of Deuils,
Enacted lawes to fill the world with euils.
Blacke Pluto sundry proclamations sends
Through Barathrum, and summons all the fiends,
To know how they on earth had spent their times,
And how they had beclog'd the world with crimes.
From horrid concaues of eternall night:
Whereas a damned Parlament of Deuils,
Enacted lawes to fill the world with euils.
Blacke Pluto sundry proclamations sends
Through Barathrum, and summons all the fiends,
To know how they on earth had spent their times,
And how they had beclog'd the world with crimes.
First spake an ancient Deuill ycleaped Pride,
Who said he wandred had, both farre and wide,
Dispersing his Ambitious poisnous bane,
As farre as Luna doth both waxe or wane.
Who said he wandred had, both farre and wide,
Dispersing his Ambitious poisnous bane,
As farre as Luna doth both waxe or wane.
Next summond was a rake-hell furgownd curre,
Cal'd Auarice, (whose rotten haulking murre)
Was like to choake him, ere he could declare
How hee had soules possest with monies care.
That so they fill their Coffers to the brim,
All's one, let sweet saluation sinke or swimme.
252
Was like to choake him, ere he could declare
How hee had soules possest with monies care.
That so they fill their Coffers to the brim,
All's one, let sweet saluation sinke or swimme.
The third that to the Parlament came in,
Was murder, all inroab'd in scarlet sinne,
Who told great Limboes monarch he had done
Such deeds, as thousand soules to hell haue wonne.
Was murder, all inroab'd in scarlet sinne,
Who told great Limboes monarch he had done
Such deeds, as thousand soules to hell haue wonne.
The fourth that entred to this damned Iurie,
Was sweet sinne Lechery, a smugfac'd furie:
Said that the world should his great pains approue,
Where vniuersall lust is counted loue.
Was sweet sinne Lechery, a smugfac'd furie:
Said that the world should his great pains approue,
Where vniuersall lust is counted loue.
The fift was an ilshaped decrepit Crone
Cald Enuy, all consum'd to skinne and bone:
And shee declar'd what labour he had spent
To Honours, and to Vertues detriment.
Cald Enuy, all consum'd to skinne and bone:
And shee declar'd what labour he had spent
To Honours, and to Vertues detriment.
Then sixt, did Burst-gut Gluttony appeere,
Whose sole delight is all in belly-cheere:
Who told how he mens greedy mindes did serue
To cram their bodies, whilst their soules did sterue.
Whose sole delight is all in belly-cheere:
Who told how he mens greedy mindes did serue
To cram their bodies, whilst their soules did sterue.
The seuenth was Sloth, an vgly lothsome wretch,
Who being cald, did gape, and yawne, and stretch:
I haue (quoth he) done as your highnesse wil'd,
I all the world with Idlenesse haue fil'd,
In lazie Creatures members I doe lurke,
That thousands will be hang'd, before the'ile work.
Who being cald, did gape, and yawne, and stretch:
I haue (quoth he) done as your highnesse wil'd,
I all the world with Idlenesse haue fil'd,
In lazie Creatures members I doe lurke,
That thousands will be hang'd, before the'ile work.
Then Pluto said, These ills, you haue done well,
In propagation of our Kingdome, Hell:
But yet ther's one thing which I will effect,
Which too long hath been buried with neglect;
And this it is, in Rich America,
In India, and black Barbaria.
Whereas the peoples superstitions show
Their minde, because no other God they know,
In those misguided lands I caus'd to breed
A foule contagious, stinking Manbane weede:
Which they (poore fooles) with diligence do gather
To sacrifice to me that am their Father:
Where euery one a Furies shape assumes,
Befog'd and clouded with my hel-hatch'd fumes.
But these blacke Nations that adore my name,
I'le leaue in pleasure: and my mischiefes frame
Gainst those who by the name of Christian goe,
Whose Author was my finall ouerthrowe.
And therefore straight diuulge our great commands,
That presently throughout all Christian lands,
Tobacco be disperst, that they may be
As Moores and Pagans are, all like to me:
That from the Palace to the paltry nooke,
Like hell in imitation all may looke.
In vice let Christians passe both Iewes and Turkes,
And let them outpasse Christians in good workes.
Let euery Cobler with his dirty fist,
Take pride to be a blacke Tobacconist.
Let Idiot Coxcombs sweare, 'tis excellent geare,
And with a whiffe their reputations reare.
Let euery idle addle-pated gull
With stinking sweet Tobacco stuffe his skull.
Let Don Fantasticke smoake his vasty gorge,
Let rich and poore, let honest men and knaues,
Be smoak'd and stunke vnto their timelesse graues.
Thus is our last irreuocable will,
Which though it dam not man, I know twill kill:
And therefore strait to euery Christian Nation,
Diuulge and publish this our Proclamation.
In propagation of our Kingdome, Hell:
But yet ther's one thing which I will effect,
Which too long hath been buried with neglect;
And this it is, in Rich America,
In India, and black Barbaria.
Whereas the peoples superstitions show
Their minde, because no other God they know,
In those misguided lands I caus'd to breed
A foule contagious, stinking Manbane weede:
Which they (poore fooles) with diligence do gather
To sacrifice to me that am their Father:
Where euery one a Furies shape assumes,
Befog'd and clouded with my hel-hatch'd fumes.
But these blacke Nations that adore my name,
I'le leaue in pleasure: and my mischiefes frame
Gainst those who by the name of Christian goe,
Whose Author was my finall ouerthrowe.
And therefore straight diuulge our great commands,
That presently throughout all Christian lands,
Tobacco be disperst, that they may be
As Moores and Pagans are, all like to me:
That from the Palace to the paltry nooke,
Like hell in imitation all may looke.
In vice let Christians passe both Iewes and Turkes,
And let them outpasse Christians in good workes.
Let euery Cobler with his dirty fist,
Take pride to be a blacke Tobacconist.
Let Idiot Coxcombs sweare, 'tis excellent geare,
And with a whiffe their reputations reare.
Let euery idle addle-pated gull
With stinking sweet Tobacco stuffe his skull.
Let Don Fantasticke smoake his vasty gorge,
Let rich and poore, let honest men and knaues,
Be smoak'd and stunke vnto their timelesse graues.
Thus is our last irreuocable will,
Which though it dam not man, I know twill kill:
And therefore strait to euery Christian Nation,
Diuulge and publish this our Proclamation.
| All the workes of Iohn Taylor the Water-Poet | |