Miscellaneous writings of the late Dr. Maginn edited by Dr. Shelton Mackenzie |
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THE RIME OF THE AUNCIENT WAGGONERE.
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Miscellaneous writings of the late Dr. Maginn | ||
101
THE RIME OF THE AUNCIENT WAGGONERE.
IN FOUR PARTS.
1. Part First.
It is an auncient Waggonere,
And hee stoppeth one of nine:—
“Now wherefore dost thou grip me soe
With that horny fist of thine?”
And hee stoppeth one of nine:—
“Now wherefore dost thou grip me soe
With that horny fist of thine?”
“The bridegroom's doors are opened wide,
And thither I must walke;
Soe, by youre leave, I must be gone,
I have noe time for talke!”
And thither I must walke;
Soe, by youre leave, I must be gone,
I have noe time for talke!”
Hee holds him with his horny fist—
“There was a wain,” quothe hee,
“Hold offe thou raggamouffine tykke,”—
Eftsoones his fist dropped hee.
“There was a wain,” quothe hee,
“Hold offe thou raggamouffine tykke,”—
Eftsoones his fist dropped hee.
Hee satte him downe upon a stone,
With ruefulle looks of feare;
And thus began this tippyse manne,
The red nosed waggonere.
With ruefulle looks of feare;
And thus began this tippyse manne,
The red nosed waggonere.
“The waine is fulle, the horses pulle,
Merrilye did we trotte
Alonge the bridge, alonge the road,
A jolly crewe I wotte;”—
Merrilye did we trotte
Alonge the bridge, alonge the road,
A jolly crewe I wotte;”—
And here the tailore smotte his breaste,
He smelte the cabbage potte!
“The nighte was darke, like Noe's arke,
Oure waggone moved alonge;
He smelte the cabbage potte!
“The nighte was darke, like Noe's arke,
Oure waggone moved alonge;
The hail pour'd faste, loude roared the blaste,
Yet stille we moved alonge;
And sung in chorus, ‘Cease loud Borus,’
A very charminge songe.
Yet stille we moved alonge;
And sung in chorus, ‘Cease loud Borus,’
A very charminge songe.
“‘Bravoe, bravissimoe,’ I cried,
The sounde was quite elatinge;
But, in a trice, upon the ice,
We hearde the horses skaitinge.
The sounde was quite elatinge;
But, in a trice, upon the ice,
We hearde the horses skaitinge.
“The ice was here, the ice was there,
It was a dismale mattere,
To see the cargoe, one by one,
Flounderinge in the wattere!
It was a dismale mattere,
To see the cargoe, one by one,
Flounderinge in the wattere!
102
“With rout and roare, we reached the shore,
And never a soul did sinke;
But in the rivere, gone for evere,
Swum our meate and drinke.
And never a soul did sinke;
But in the rivere, gone for evere,
Swum our meate and drinke.
“At lengthe we spied a goode grey goose,
Thorough the snow it came;
And with the butte ende of my whippe,
I hailed it in Goddhis name.
Thorough the snow it came;
And with the butte ende of my whippe,
I hailed it in Goddhis name.
“It staggered as it had been drunke,
So dexterous was it hitte;
Of brokene boughs we made a fire,
Thomme Loncheone roasted itte.”—
So dexterous was it hitte;
Of brokene boughs we made a fire,
Thomme Loncheone roasted itte.”—
“Be done, thou tipsye waggonere,
“To the feaste I must awaye.”—
The waggonere seized him bye the coatte,
And forced him there to staye,
Begginge, in gentlemanlie style,
Butte halfe ane hour's delaye.
“To the feaste I must awaye.”—
The waggonere seized him bye the coatte,
And forced him there to staye,
Begginge, in gentlemanlie style,
Butte halfe ane hour's delaye.
2. Part Second.
“The crimson sunne was rising o'ere
The verge of the horizon;
Upon my worde, as faire a sunne
As ever I clapped eyes onne.
The verge of the horizon;
Upon my worde, as faire a sunne
As ever I clapped eyes onne.
“'Twill be ane comfortable thinge,”
The mutinouus crewe 'gan crye;
“'Twill be an comfortable thinge,
Within the jaile to lye;
Ah! execrable wretche,” saide they,
“Thatte caused the goose to die!
The mutinouus crewe 'gan crye;
“'Twill be an comfortable thinge,
Within the jaile to lye;
Ah! execrable wretche,” saide they,
“Thatte caused the goose to die!
“The day was drawing near itte's close,
The sunne was well nighe settinge;
When lo it seemed as iffe his face
Was veiled with fringe-warke-nettinge.
The sunne was well nighe settinge;
When lo it seemed as iffe his face
Was veiled with fringe-warke-nettinge.
“Somme saide itte was ane apple tree,
Laden with goodlye fruite,
Somme swore itte was ane foreigne birde,
Some said it was ane brute;
Alas! it was ane bumbailiffe,
Riding in pursuite!
Laden with goodlye fruite,
Somme swore itte was ane foreigne birde,
Some said it was ane brute;
Alas! it was ane bumbailiffe,
Riding in pursuite!
103
“A hue and crye sterte uppe behind,
Whilke smote oure ears like thunder,
Within waggone there was drede,
Astonishmente and wonder.
Whilke smote oure ears like thunder,
Within waggone there was drede,
Astonishmente and wonder.
“One after one, the rascalls rann,
And from the carre did jump;
One after one, one after one,
They felle with heavy thump.
And from the carre did jump;
One after one, one after one,
They felle with heavy thump.
“Six miles ane houre theye offe did scoure,
Like shippes on ane stormye ocean,
Theire garments flappinge in the winde,
With ane shorte uneasy motion.
Like shippes on ane stormye ocean,
Theire garments flappinge in the winde,
With ane shorte uneasy motion.
“Their bodies with their legs did flye,
Theye fled withe feare and glyffe;
Why star'st thoue soe?—With one goode blow,
I felled the bumbailiffe!”
Theye fled withe feare and glyffe;
Why star'st thoue soe?—With one goode blow,
I felled the bumbailiffe!”
3. Part Third.
“I feare thee, auncient waggonere,
I feare thy hornye fiste,
For itte is stained with gooses gore,
And bailiffe's blood, I wist.
I feare thy hornye fiste,
For itte is stained with gooses gore,
And bailiffe's blood, I wist.
“I fear to gette ane fisticuffe
From thy leathern knuckles brown;
With that the tailore strove to ryse—
The waggonere thrusts him down.
From thy leathern knuckles brown;
With that the tailore strove to ryse—
The waggonere thrusts him down.
“‘Thou craven, if thou mov'st a limbe,
I'll give thee cause for feare;’—
And thus went on, that tipsye man,
The red-billed waggonere.
I'll give thee cause for feare;’—
And thus went on, that tipsye man,
The red-billed waggonere.
The bumbailiffe so beautifull!
Declared itte was no joke,
For, to his knowledge, both his legs,
And fifteen ribbes were broke.
Declared itte was no joke,
For, to his knowledge, both his legs,
And fifteen ribbes were broke.
“The lighte was gone, the nighte came on,
Ane hundrede lantherns sheen,
Glimmerred upon the kinge's highwaye,
Ane lovelye sighte I ween.
Ane hundrede lantherns sheen,
Glimmerred upon the kinge's highwaye,
Ane lovelye sighte I ween.
104
“‘Is it he,’ quoth one, ‘is this the manne,
I'll laye the rascalle stiffe;’—
With cruel stroke the beak he broke
Of the harmless bumbailiffe.
I'll laye the rascalle stiffe;’—
With cruel stroke the beak he broke
Of the harmless bumbailiffe.
“The threatening of the saucye rogue
No more I coulde abide.
Advancing forthe my goode right legge,
Three paces and a stride,
I sent my lefte foot dexterously
Seven inches thro' his side.
No more I coulde abide.
Advancing forthe my goode right legge,
Three paces and a stride,
I sent my lefte foot dexterously
Seven inches thro' his side.
“Up came the seconde from the vanne;
We had scarcely fought a round,
When some one smote me from behinde,
And I fell down in a swound:
We had scarcely fought a round,
When some one smote me from behinde,
And I fell down in a swound:
“And when my head began to clear,
I heard the yemering crew—
Quoth one, ‘this man hath penance done,
And penance more shall do.’”
I heard the yemering crew—
Quoth one, ‘this man hath penance done,
And penance more shall do.’”
4. Part Fourth.
“Oh! Freedom is a glorious thing!—
And tailore, by the bye,
I'd rather in a halter swing,
Than in a dungeon lie.
And tailore, by the bye,
I'd rather in a halter swing,
Than in a dungeon lie.
“The jailore came to bring me foode,
Forget it will I never,
How he turned up the white o' his eye,
When I stuck him in the liver.
Forget it will I never,
How he turned up the white o' his eye,
When I stuck him in the liver.
“His threade of life was snapt; once more
I reached the open streete;
The people sung out ‘Gardyloo’
As I ran down the streete.
Methought the blessed air of heaven
Never smelte so sweete.
I reached the open streete;
The people sung out ‘Gardyloo’
As I ran down the streete.
Methought the blessed air of heaven
Never smelte so sweete.
“Once more upon the broad highwaye,
I walked with feare and drede;
And every fifteen steppes I tooke
I turned about my heade,
For feare the corporal of the guarde
Might close behind me trede!
I walked with feare and drede;
And every fifteen steppes I tooke
I turned about my heade,
For feare the corporal of the guarde
Might close behind me trede!
105
“Behold upon the western wave,
Setteth the broad bright sunne;
So I must onward, as I have
Full fifteen miles to runne;—
Setteth the broad bright sunne;
So I must onward, as I have
Full fifteen miles to runne;—
“And should the bailliffes hither come
To aske whilke waye I've gone,
Tell them I took the othere road,
Said hee, and trotted onne.”
To aske whilke waye I've gone,
Tell them I took the othere road,
Said hee, and trotted onne.”
The tailore rushed into the roome,
O'erturning three or foure;
Fractured his skulle against the walle,
And worde spake never more!!
O'erturning three or foure;
Fractured his skulle against the walle,
And worde spake never more!!
Morale.
Such is the fate of foolish men,The danger all may see,
Of those, who list to waggonere,
And keepe bad companye.
Miscellaneous writings of the late Dr. Maginn | ||