University of Virginia Library

Challenge Issued

This letter is response to Preston
H. Edwards, College 2, Oct. 19,
, Herbert H. Hoover, do hereby
challenge Preston H. Edwards
(in all his majestic splendor etc.)
to a contest to determine which
of us shows more "individual
maturity, self discipline, and good
taste."

I can see it now:

There I am, the sun over my
left shoulder, no tie, chukka boots,
and my Fruit of the Loom T-shirt
with a larger tear under my right
arm pit. But I'm standing tall,
grimacing, sneering, mature.

And then-then from out of the
Rotunda like a new-borne babe
comes-Ta Ta Ta Ta Ta Taaaaaa:
Preston Man. He skips forward.
I am taken aback, almost losing
my composure.

There I am out on the Lawn
and here he comes down the steps
of the Big Top. We're 25 feet
apart. We stare. We grimace.
We sneer. We put our noses in the
air. We think of Plato.

But he's getting me. Yes. He
is. I'm weakening-I just haven't
got the self-discipline. I go down
on one knee. He approaches me
and places a hand upon my right
shoulder. A hush falls over the
Lawn as thousands are watching.
Everyone can tell that he has come
to the University for both
"an education and a plane
of living." I am truly humble and
tremblingly await his spoken word.

He turns, faces the people, and
says in a loud baritone voice:
"Goo, Goo." (But he said it with
heart).

OH! OH! I retract my challenge.
The thought of encountering him
gives me cramps. I'm too young
to die.