 | Works of John Taylor the Water Poet not included in the folio volume of 1630 |  |
1
Bull, Beare, and Horse, Cut, Curtaile, and Longtaile. VVith Tales, and Tales of Buls, Clenches, and Flashes.
As also here and there a touch of our Beare-Garden-sport; with the second part of the Merry conceits of Wit and Mirth. Together with the Names of all the Bulls and Beares.
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This Dedication is directed, to his well-Affected and much Respected,
his often Approved, and truly beloved, Mr. Thomas Godfrey, Keeper
of the Game for Beares, Bulls, and Dogges.
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Bull, Beare, and Horse, Cuts, Curtols, and Longtailes.
Concerning
Buls, sure no man is so Dull,
Or ignorant, but that he knowes a Bull:
There are more sorts of Bulls then Beares by ods,
For Iupiter, (the chiefe of Heathen gods)
Into a Bull, was pleas'd himselfe to Shape,
When on Europa he committed Rape:
And to a Bull, he turn'd his forme divine
When he (on Ceres) got faire Proserpine.
Taurus (the Bull) is if you wisely Note
A Signe Cælestiall for the Necke and Throat,
If any doubt of it, let them but go
And buy an Almanacke, hee'le finde it so.
Pasipha Queene of Creet, (a Royall Trull)
Was monstrously enamour'd of a Bull:
'Twixt whom the Monster Minotaure was got,
As in th'eighth Booke of Ovid it was wrot.
But sure the stories truth is better fram'd,
That sayes there was a man there (Taurus nam'd)
Who was beloved of the lustfull Queene,
And had with her too oft familiar beene.
'Tis said Semiramis (King Ninus Mother)
Did love a Bull, which is as true as 'tother.
When as Just Minos, (Creets victorious King)
The Megarans did to's subjection bring,
For which to Iove a feast he solemniz'd,
Wherein a hundred Buls were sacrific'd.
The Brazen Bull of Phallaris the Tyrant,
Was such a Beast, as made the World admire on't,
In which men Roasted, were to death Tormented,
And he first suffred in't that it Invented.
There dwels a man at Rome, that Buls can make,
To make seduced Kings, and Kingdomes Quake,
Which Buls (though Lead) (O wondrous to behold
Are quickly Metamorphos'd into Gold.
There's the Philosophers Admired Jemme,
(That long sought Jewell, worth a Diademe)
That hard, hard stone, which many men have sought
And all they found, they found themselves worth nought;
The Castle Angello, doth it Immure
And there turnes drossy Lead, to Gold most pure.
There are Bulbeggers, which fright Children much,
There are Bull Taverns, that mens Wits will tutch;
And further (for the Buls Renowne and fame)
We had an ex'lent Hangman of that name.
Suppose a man's match'd with a beauteous Wife,
Who with an ugly Dwarfe defiles her life,
To please her husband, she can fiddle, faddle,
Whilst oftentimes a Monkey sits his Saddle,
A man may say, that he most basely is
Bull'd with an Urchin, through his Wifes amisse.
And now of late a Bull's a Common Creature,
For men (with nonsence) do speak Bull's by Nature,
From East to West, from North unto the South,
Bull's are produc'd each houre, by Word of Mouth.
Which every day are brought unto the Printer,
Faster then Mother Puddings made her Winter.
To the decay of many a Tallow Taper,
And the consuming many a Reame of Paper,
Soft mault doth make sweet Fire, the Proverb sayes,
Or else the Bull sayes so, you see which wayes.
If men would use to Leape before they Looke,
Bulls should not thus be thrust in many a Booke,
For though Care may be Kill'd with any Cat,
You are not sure the Fire is in the Fat,
Fooles faine (say they) do often make faire Words,
Yet some may Catch the Bush, some beat the Birds.
But Better comes the seldome, I desire
For My Kill set the Peck of Maulte on fire.
This any man may, to himselfe apply
That when the Larks fall, we may catch the skie.
But if my Judgement do me not deceive
I do esteeme it better lacke then leave.
Though Brawne and Bacon breeds from Bores and Hoggs,
Yet hungry Puddings will eat dirty Doggs.
And sure a man had better bide away,
Then come to late, A Faire after the Day.
If such a one speed well, it is as rare,
As tis To catch a Taber with a Hare.
Which is as certaine as blind Fortunes Wheele,
Or hold fast Like a wet Taile by the Eele.
Let every man a true decorum keepe,
Because tis ill, A waking Dogge to sleepe.
And tis a Proverb throughout Christendome,
That never One day was not built in Rome.
If great men give me nothing, I say plaine,
Ile hurle as much as that at them againe.
He that stickes downe a Goose, and steales a Feather,
Doth (by that match) not save, or profit neither.
A long Corne for short harvest men may see,
Like tedious woeing for a scornefull shee.
Tis folly for a man to fall at strife
With Women, who hath nine Cats like a life;
For when the Gray-Horse is the better Mare,
A Blinde man may be taken with a Hare.
Spet in your hold, take better hands I say,
We may be heere to Morrow, and gone to day.
The man that angrie is without amends,
Tis fit (without a cause he be made friends:)
For though men know their Cattel by their marks
The greatest men are not the wisest Clarkes.
I purpose no mans credit to defame,
But He that is halfe hang'd, hath no good name.
Though all these Rimes are scarcely worth a Token
The Water to the Pott goes till tis broken.
Who cuts their fingers must abide them bleed,
And when Geese preach, then let the Fox take heede.
Tis hard to make me thinke, or late, or soone,
That ever Greene Cheese was made of the Moone.
Nor is it fit (as I doe understand)
To put a mad Sword in a nak'd mans hand.
A man may be a Drunkard or a Leacher,
And yet mend as the Bolt doth mend the Fletcher.
Or as the sowre Ale mends the Sommer, so
A man (mistooke) may make his friend, his foe.
For all this, 'tis not fitting to be book'd,
How once olde Lincolne ore the Devill look'd.
The Ancient Proverb still doth stand in force,
Some better may looke one then steale a Horse.
It may be some will not these lines allow,
But then they take a wrong Eare by the Sow.
Twas never yet a question in the Law,
To stumble at a Blocke, leape ore a straw.
But any man of simple wit may finde,
That all this Corne hath shaken downe no Winde.
He that will wrangle for an Egge thats Addle,
Although he lose the Horse, may winne the Saddle.
And thus my Muse, most lowly elevated,
These English Proverbs hath to Bulls translated.
Or ignorant, but that he knowes a Bull:
There are more sorts of Bulls then Beares by ods,
For Iupiter, (the chiefe of Heathen gods)
Into a Bull, was pleas'd himselfe to Shape,
When on Europa he committed Rape:
And to a Bull, he turn'd his forme divine
When he (on Ceres) got faire Proserpine.
Taurus (the Bull) is if you wisely Note
A Signe Cælestiall for the Necke and Throat,
If any doubt of it, let them but go
And buy an Almanacke, hee'le finde it so.
Pasipha Queene of Creet, (a Royall Trull)
Was monstrously enamour'd of a Bull:
'Twixt whom the Monster Minotaure was got,
As in th'eighth Booke of Ovid it was wrot.
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That sayes there was a man there (Taurus nam'd)
Who was beloved of the lustfull Queene,
And had with her too oft familiar beene.
'Tis said Semiramis (King Ninus Mother)
Did love a Bull, which is as true as 'tother.
When as Just Minos, (Creets victorious King)
The Megarans did to's subjection bring,
For which to Iove a feast he solemniz'd,
Wherein a hundred Buls were sacrific'd.
The Brazen Bull of Phallaris the Tyrant,
Was such a Beast, as made the World admire on't,
In which men Roasted, were to death Tormented,
And he first suffred in't that it Invented.
There dwels a man at Rome, that Buls can make,
To make seduced Kings, and Kingdomes Quake,
Which Buls (though Lead) (O wondrous to behold
Are quickly Metamorphos'd into Gold.
There's the Philosophers Admired Jemme,
(That long sought Jewell, worth a Diademe)
That hard, hard stone, which many men have sought
And all they found, they found themselves worth nought;
The Castle Angello, doth it Immure
And there turnes drossy Lead, to Gold most pure.
There are Bulbeggers, which fright Children much,
There are Bull Taverns, that mens Wits will tutch;
And further (for the Buls Renowne and fame)
We had an ex'lent Hangman of that name.
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Who with an ugly Dwarfe defiles her life,
To please her husband, she can fiddle, faddle,
Whilst oftentimes a Monkey sits his Saddle,
A man may say, that he most basely is
Bull'd with an Urchin, through his Wifes amisse.
And now of late a Bull's a Common Creature,
For men (with nonsence) do speak Bull's by Nature,
From East to West, from North unto the South,
Bull's are produc'd each houre, by Word of Mouth.
Which every day are brought unto the Printer,
Faster then Mother Puddings made her Winter.
To the decay of many a Tallow Taper,
And the consuming many a Reame of Paper,
Soft mault doth make sweet Fire, the Proverb sayes,
Or else the Bull sayes so, you see which wayes.
If men would use to Leape before they Looke,
Bulls should not thus be thrust in many a Booke,
For though Care may be Kill'd with any Cat,
You are not sure the Fire is in the Fat,
Fooles faine (say they) do often make faire Words,
Yet some may Catch the Bush, some beat the Birds.
But Better comes the seldome, I desire
For My Kill set the Peck of Maulte on fire.
This any man may, to himselfe apply
That when the Larks fall, we may catch the skie.
But if my Judgement do me not deceive
I do esteeme it better lacke then leave.
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Yet hungry Puddings will eat dirty Doggs.
And sure a man had better bide away,
Then come to late, A Faire after the Day.
If such a one speed well, it is as rare,
As tis To catch a Taber with a Hare.
Which is as certaine as blind Fortunes Wheele,
Or hold fast Like a wet Taile by the Eele.
Let every man a true decorum keepe,
Because tis ill, A waking Dogge to sleepe.
And tis a Proverb throughout Christendome,
That never One day was not built in Rome.
If great men give me nothing, I say plaine,
Ile hurle as much as that at them againe.
He that stickes downe a Goose, and steales a Feather,
Doth (by that match) not save, or profit neither.
A long Corne for short harvest men may see,
Like tedious woeing for a scornefull shee.
Tis folly for a man to fall at strife
With Women, who hath nine Cats like a life;
For when the Gray-Horse is the better Mare,
A Blinde man may be taken with a Hare.
Spet in your hold, take better hands I say,
We may be heere to Morrow, and gone to day.
The man that angrie is without amends,
Tis fit (without a cause he be made friends:)
For though men know their Cattel by their marks
The greatest men are not the wisest Clarkes.
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But He that is halfe hang'd, hath no good name.
Though all these Rimes are scarcely worth a Token
The Water to the Pott goes till tis broken.
Who cuts their fingers must abide them bleed,
And when Geese preach, then let the Fox take heede.
Tis hard to make me thinke, or late, or soone,
That ever Greene Cheese was made of the Moone.
Nor is it fit (as I doe understand)
To put a mad Sword in a nak'd mans hand.
A man may be a Drunkard or a Leacher,
And yet mend as the Bolt doth mend the Fletcher.
Or as the sowre Ale mends the Sommer, so
A man (mistooke) may make his friend, his foe.
For all this, 'tis not fitting to be book'd,
How once olde Lincolne ore the Devill look'd.
The Ancient Proverb still doth stand in force,
Some better may looke one then steale a Horse.
It may be some will not these lines allow,
But then they take a wrong Eare by the Sow.
Twas never yet a question in the Law,
To stumble at a Blocke, leape ore a straw.
But any man of simple wit may finde,
That all this Corne hath shaken downe no Winde.
He that will wrangle for an Egge thats Addle,
Although he lose the Horse, may winne the Saddle.
And thus my Muse, most lowly elevated,
These English Proverbs hath to Bulls translated.
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More worthy, and Remarkeable observations of the Bull.
As is before Repeated in my lines,Taurus (the Bull) 'mongst the Celestial Signes;
So Taurus is a Mountaine, whose high Top
Doth seeme to scale the Skies, and underprop
The Bull that's stellified; That Hill doth Bound
All Asia on the North, about it round
Is many a Kingdome and large Continent,
Which shewes the Bull is mighty in extent.
A Bull's a Beast of State and Reputation,
For he that eats Bull Beefe, (by approbation)
With eating such strong meate, I do assure ye
'Twill puffe him up, and make him swell with fury.
If any man will but himselfe examine,
Hee'le find a Bull, a Buckler against famine,
A Bull's a happy Creature, whence proceeds
Most of the food, whereon most people feeds:
He, and his sweet hearts (most beloved Kine)
Yeelds thousands wherewithall to suppe and dine.
The Calves, (his sonnes and daughters) plenteously
With young and tender Veale, our wants supply.
And from the Bull'd Cow, (in perpetuall motion)
Milke flowes amongst us daily like an Ocean,
Sweet Creame, and Cockney Curds they yeeld each day,
And (for the poor) Whig, Buttermilk and Whay,
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And Butter, to annoint the Flemmings Chaps,
The Milk-Pans do allow, like bounteous Pooles,
Meanes to make Cheese-cakes, Custards, Flawns, and Fools,
And at the Milk-pale I have seene and heard
Good Sullabubs, have been both made and mard.
It is the Bull's Conjunction with the Cow
(With blest encrease) that doth these things allow.
Without the Bull we should be so unslor'd,
The Kingdome could not yeeld a Posset Curd.
Know then by this (good Reader) what a Bull is,
And he that will not know it, but a Gull is.
The Oxe (the Buls strong Eunuch son) is Chiefe
Of Mortall meats, (man-feeding vigorous Beefe)
And who so will amongst the Butchers seeke
In London, and in Westminster each weeke,
With those two Cities Bounds, and Liberties,
With Countrey Butchers, and the great supplies
That Market folkes do to those parts Impart
(The Load of many a Horse, and many a Cart)
The Beeves thus slaine, and eaten would appeare
Above 3000, each weeke through the yeere.
Chines, Surloyns, Flanks, Clods, Legs, doth fill us full,
Brisket and Marrow-bones comes from the Bull;
A Neats-tongue dri'd is deere, a Dish of State,
At Stilliard any man may know the Rate.
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'Twould trouble men to Read, and I to write.
Thus do the Butchers Thriue, the Grasiers Gaine,
The Cooks and Victualers, do their states maintain,
Sowse-wives grow plump and fat, and 'tis because
Their sale is quicke for Muggets Paunches, Mawes,
Tripes, Reads, Neatsfeet, Cowheels, & Chitterlings,
Whilst many thousands feed on Bag-puddings.
Note but how well the Cheese-mongers do live,
And what a usefull gainfull Trade they drive:
Yet in their shops there is true Justice found
The poore mans peney, and the rich mans pound
Shall have true, weight according to proportion,
Without conivence, falshood, or extortion.
Were there no Buls, Chandlers were beggerd quite
Nor could they sell our darknesse any light
At any price of Reason, then our Guise
Were soone to go to Bed, and late to Rise.
Thus is the Bull, and the Bulls Breed descected
In Flesh and Entrales; now my Quil's erected
(In what is writ before I have not Lyde)
And now Ile flourish ore the Hornes and Hyde.
The Tanners wealth encreaseth day and Night,
'Till at the last his Sonne is dub'd a Knight:
And Daughters should be (could they purchase pride)
With Portions, and proportions Ladyfi'de.
The Currier also needs not Curry favoure,
For though his Trade smell, somethidg hath some savour.
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Their sonnes bound prentise to a Shoomaker;
But that their future hopes do them perswade,
It is no Bare-footed and Bootlesse Trade.
Nor will it ever lack, or live in scorne,
'Till all our children without feet are borne;
For (more then any Trade) hee'le sing and play,
Whilst every Munday is his Holiday.
And when a Shoomaker falls to decay,
Hee'le be a Cobler new, and mend that way:
But there's a monstrous Trade, of late sprung forth,
Doth spoil more Leather then their skins are worth;
The best Hydes they devoure, and Gurmundize,
Which makes the worst in price too high to Rise;
With them the World doth bravely run on Wheeles,
Whilst poore men pinch and pay, quite out at heels.
But hold, what vessell have I set a Broach,
What is muse got jolting in a Coach?
Out with a vengeance, walk on foot I pray
And to the Bull again direct your way.
Now for the excellent Admired Horne
More profitable then the Unicorne.
For Hoopes, for Spectacles, for Combs to dresse you
(Which when they come so neere your heads, pray
And 'tis a Bull I have heard often said (blesse you)
Reach me the Iron Shooing Horne good Maid.
And when the Hunted Stag bids life farewell,
The Huntsmans Horn doth bravely Ring his Knell,
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Before the Gelder reft him of his stones.
Thus from the Bull, and the Bulls Breed you see,
A world of people still maintained be;
He finds flesh, Bootes, Shooes, Lights, and stands instead
And great importance to afford us Bread.
The Bulls deare sonne (the Oxe) with daily toyle,
Weares out himselfe with plowing and turmoyle,
And all to find us bread, and when he dyes,
His Flesh, Hyde, Hornes, and all our wants supplies.
So much for Bulls now in particular,
For our Beare-Garden Bull, a Bull of war,
A stout, a valiant, and a Head-strong-Beast,
Which did not fight this 18 Moneths at least;
A Beast of mighty pollicy and power,
That at his Dog foes will looke Grim, and Lower,
Hee'le Knit the Brow with terror, in such sort,
That when he chafes most, then he makes most sport;
At push of Pike, he with his head will play,
And with his feet spurne injuries away;
Hee'l turne and wind as nimble as an Eele,
And kicke, and skornes abuses with his Heele;
Hee'le fling and throw, hee'le bravely tosse & turn,
Hee'le hurle and heave, and dangerously spurne,
Note but his valour, when hee's at the stake,
How he prepares himselfe the Dog to take:
His feet fix'd fast, disdaining once to stirre,
His wary eye upon the angry Cur.
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And with advantage up his foe he heaves,
With such a force, that often with the fall
Hee's dead, or lam'd, or hath no power to sprawle.
Thus hath our Bull fought in his owne defence,
And purchas'd (for his Master (Crowns and pence.
And for that purpose may do so agen,
(I wish I had the knowledge to know when)
For since the time a Bull a Dog could tosse,
Our Beare-Garden had never such a losse:
But lets not lay the fault upon the Times,
But let us blame our selves, and cease our Crimes.
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A Beare.
Beare and forbeare, I now speake of the Beare,
And therefore (Reader) give, or lend an Eare.
And therefore (Reader) give, or lend an Eare.
First therefore, in much briefenesse I am rendring
Where, and how Beares have breeding and engendring,
Some are Ossean, some are Callidonian,
Some Æremanthian Beares, and some Æmonian,
Some rugged Russians, some Sun-burnt Numidians,
And lastly, the white swimming Beares, (Amphibians)
Some do affirme a Beare to be a creature,
Whelp'd like a lump, with neither shape or feature,
Untill the Damme doth licke it into fashion,
And makes the lump a Beare in transformation.
As Taylors with their precious wisdomes Tallants,
Do licke, and Metamorphose Gulls to Gallantt.
Whereby a fashion oft is shap'd (by chance)
Out of an ill-bread lumpe of ignorance.
But for the Beare he keepes his shape most constant,
The Taylor (and his creatures) change each instant,
The Beare keepes still, the fashion he brought hither,
The gallant Gull's inconstant, like Weather.
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A prudent Schoolmaster, of sparing dyet,
Hee'le live foure moneths from every kind of meat,
By sucking of his left foot, like a Teat.
Which is an abstinence that doth require,
More then the fast of a Carthusisian Fryer,
No Capuchin, or immur'd Anchorite,
Did never (so much) curbe his Appetite.
And as Beares suffer hunger, I am sure,
No beast created, doth more cold endure:
When fridged Boreas blustring blasts do blow,
Mid'st Rocks, of hoary Ice, and hills of Snow,
The worst of Winters sharp extremity,
The hardy Beare, abides most constantly.
And in hot Africke, and the Libian Coast,
Where Phæbus flames doth seeme the world to Roast:
Where Negro Moores, are dride and blackly dide,
That heat (excessive) there the Beare doth hide.
So that with hunger, heat, and pinching cold,
The Beares extremities are manifold.
Being growne unto Maturity and strength,
And having hither past the seas, at length,
At Beare-Garden, (a sweet Rotuntious Colledge)
Hee's taught the Rudiments of Art and knowledge.
There doth he learne to dance, and (gravely grumbling)
To fight & to be Active (bravely tumbling)
To practise wards, and postures, to and fro,
To guard himselfe, and to offend his foe;
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And cuffe a Dog off with his foot-like hand;
And afterwards (for recreations sake)
Practise to run the Ring about the stake.
Whilst showts, and Mastives mouthes do fill the sky
That sure Acteon ne're had such a cry.
Thus Beares do please the hearing and the sight,
And sure their sent will any man invite:
For whosoer'e spends most, shall finde this favour,
That by the Beares and Dogs, hee's made a favour.
And as a Common-wealth, (oft by Ill-willers)
Is vex'd by prowling Knaves, and Caterpillars,
So is a Beare (which is a quiet Beast)
By Curres and Mungrels, oftentimes opprest.
And tyde to what he doth hee's bound to see,
The best and worst of all their cruelty.
And for mens monies, what shift ere they make for't,
What ere is laid or paid, the Beare's at stake for't.
Though he be hardly drawne to't 'gainst his will,
Hee's bound to see and beare, and bide much ill;
Besides the baiting of a Beare is rare,
Unlike the baiting of a Horse or Mare:
The Horse hath Provender, and Hey for Bait,
And doth in peace and quiet eate his meat;
When as the Beare, is Tugg'd, Lugg'd, Bit & Beaten
And eates no Bait, but likely to be Eaten.
A Beare is like a Watchman by his coat,
He weares a Rugge-Gowne alwayes (if you note,)
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As mannerly, and watch as well as he.
And as a grumbling Officer may weare
A Collor and a Chaine, so doth a Beare.
'Tis writ by Authors (Philosophicall)
How that a Beare is usefull, Physicall,
For Agues, and hot Feavers, take his haire,
His Greace (or Lard) will aking Limbes repaire:
His Marrow strengthens, (if you do annoint)
Shrunk Sinewes, Nerves, or an enfeebled joint,
The oyle boyl'd from his feet will operate
The Gowtes tormenting much to mitigate,
And when man's in consumption, like to pine,
The Bears pith's good, that grows amidst his Chine.
A Beares skin Tann'd it'h haire, is for a bed
Better then Blanquet, Rugg, or Coverled.
A Beares Teeth, Painters in high price do hold,
To make them Instruments to gild with gold,
And for his Furre it is such ex'lent stuffe,
That Many a Lady weares it in a Muffe;
Dry a Beares Liver, and to Powder beat it,
And let a Maid of forty five yeares eat it;
Although a thousand false Knaves would deceive her
Yet she shall keep her Maidenhead for ever.
Thus having shew'd of Beares their sundry breeding
Their formes, their admirable sparing feeding:
Their patience, courage, temperance, fortitude,
And many vertues that have them endu'd,
58
Ile give one short touch more and make an end.
Then for the further honour of the Beares,
They (with the stars) are mounted in their Sphears:
There Vrsa Major in the firmament,
Is stellifide, a glorious ornament,
And there, the little Beare, (a starre more finer)
Is call'd Artophilax, or Vrsa Minor,
And who so reads the second part of Ovid,
There shall they finde (what here is writ) approved.
Now once againe, pray lend your eyes and eares,
Ile write of baiting of the Bulls and Beares.
It is a Game so ancient, that I wot
Records can scarce shew when we usde it not.
Except now, in these sad infectious times,
That heav'ns just hand doth plague us for our crimes,
The Game is by authority supprest;
And Beares, and Bulls, and Dogs, have too much rest,
Through want of baiting growne to such a straine,
(Hard to be tam'd, or brought in frame againe)
Almost all mad for want of exercise,
Filling, the Aire with roaring and with cries,
That those who neer the Bear-Garden are dwelling
Do heare such bellowing, bawling, yawling, yelling,
As if Hell were broake loose, or (truth to speake)
The Devils at foot ball were on Barley-breake.
There's three couragious Bulls, as ever plaid,
Twenty good Beares, as er'e to stake was taid.
59
That from fierce Lions will not turne their faces;
A male and female Ape (kinde Jacke and Jugge,
Who with sweet complement do kisse and hugge,
And lastly there is Jacke an Apes his Horse,
A Beast of fiery fortitude and force.
As for the Game I boldly dare relate,
'Tis not for Boyes, or fooles effeminate,
For whoso'ere comes thither, most and least,
May see and learne some courage from a Beast:
And 'tis not only a base Rabble Crew,
That thither comes, It may be proved true,
That to the Beare-Garden comes now and than,
Some Gamesters worth ten thousand pounds a man.
For rough behaviour that's no great disgrace,
There's more hors-play us'd at each deere hors-race,
More heads, or legs, or necks, are broake each day,
At Cards, Dice, Tables, Bowles, or foot-ball-play.
The Game hath been maintain'd, and will, we hope
Be so againe (now favour gives it scope)
For Kings, for Princes, for Ambassadors,
Both for our Countrymen, and forreigners.
Which hath been held, a Royalty and Game,
And (though ecclips'd) will be againe the same.
But now (to make an end) must be explain'd,
How it the name of Paris-Garden gain'd:
The name of it was from a Royall Boy,
(Brave Illions fire-brand, wracke and sacke of Troy)
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Was throwne away into the woods so wilde,
There that young Prince was cast to lfve or perish,
And there a Bear with sucke, the babe did cherish;
And as a rare memoriall of the same,
From Paris, Paris-Garden hath the name.
Those that will not beleeve it, let them go
To France, in Paris, they may find it so,
Or if not there, let them looke narrowly,
In Mathew Paris famous History.
And that we have obtain'd againe the Game,
Our Paris-Garden Flag proclaimes the same.
Our Beares, and Bulls, and Dogs in former state,
The streets of London do perambulate,
And honest sport, and lawfull merriment,
Shall thrice a weeke be shew'd, to give content.
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Vpon the goodnesse of a worthinesse of Horses, with a merry touch of the Beare-Garden Palfrey or Jacke-an-Apes his Horse.
My Muse is Mounted 'twixt the soaring wingsOf Pegasus, who bravely flies and flings
Through ayre, through clouds, through sun-shine, & descries
Each earthly Regions Rare Varieties.
The numbers infinite, of sundry creatures,
Their strange diversity in formes and Natures,
And as in gliding flight, I swiftly soare
Or'e Sun-burnt Africke, and the Libian shore,
There (with much pleasure) I did cast mine eye
Upon the well-made Horse of Barbarie,
And crossing or'e the Mediterran Maine,
I saw the prauncing Jennet of proud Spaine,
Straight the Iberian fume of Aristippus,
Hurl'd us to Greece, and their I view'd their Hippos.
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Whereas their fierce Cavallo I did view,
In Naples I the Courser brave espide,
Thence, we or'e Almaine, and low Belgia glide,
There my Muse saw the bounding Palfrey Prance,
From thence my wing'd horse bore me over France
There foaming fiery hot the gallant Gaul,
Did daunce Corantoes with his Frenth Chevall.
Then or'e Hibernia, we tooke speedy flight,
And there the Irish Hobby pleas'd my sight,
Then my Pegasian wings began to flag,
I view'd the English Steed, and Scottish Nag.
And as the heat of blood my Beast inflames
He kick'd and threw me headlong into Thames,
And as I fell, his hoofe bestow'd a wince
Upon my pate, and there's the marke ere since.
The gentle River at my fall did grieve,
Set me on land safe, gave me meanes to live:
And Pegasus inspir'd me with his heele,
That ever since an itching vaine I feele,
Of sprightfull Poesie, though not so well,
As men may say I therein do excell.
But I can do (as many more have done)
Bring Reames of Paper to confusion.
Nor doth my Muse rejoyce in merriments,
Drawne from wits sorded obsceane excrements;
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Or libelling 'gainst men infortunate,
I meane to keep my eares upon my head,
And on mens miseries I scorne to tread.
I have observ'd no proud man ever yet,
Did any thing but ruine, and hatred get;
I know obedience, and humilitie,
Is best with all belov'd tranquilitie,
I know the lawes guard me from mischiefes Jawes,
Which lawes I love, & those that made those lawes
Nor shall my lines (for things indifferent)
In Church or Common-wealth er'e make a rent.
Thus Pegasus did to Pernassus soare,
And on the Thames I got a healthfull Oare,
Which ofttimes I have us'd, and will againe,
Meane time Ile use the vigour of my braine,
As Homer writ the warres of Mice and Frogs,
So I (his Ape) do write of Beares and Dogs:
Of Bulls, and Bulls begot by word of mouth
Of Horses, and some Tales of age and youth,
And now my Muse againe begins to mount,
The Horses excellency to recount,
You famous Palfreyes of the flaming Sunne,
(That scorn'd the management of Phaeton)
Who with the heat of Sol's bright Axelltree
Caus'd all this under world on fire to be;
(I know the morall meaning of the same,
Is, man should not beyond true reason ayme.)
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Apolloes golden Teame Assist my Muse,
But 'tis no matter, keepe your daily course,
Without your aide my wit is nere the worse;
Whilst you are reeking with celestiall sweat
I, of Terrestriall Horses meane to treat.
A Horse (of all the Beasts beneath the skie)
Is best, and most for mans commodity:
His exact making gives the eye delight,
A body brave, lin'd with a noble sprite,
And though he knew no reson, or a mind,
Yet unto man hee's tractably enclin'd,
In dangerous war, the Horse the brunt doth carry,
Where every Rider seemes a Sagitary,
In peace, a Horse for state, for Tilt or Tourney,
For quicke dispatch, or ease in any journey,
For pleasure, carriage, and for husbandry,
The Horse doth furnish our necessity.
The poorest Horse that is, or ever was,
Doth much more service then the golden Asse,
Thats deck'd with borrowed trappings, yet such beasts,
Advance audaciously their brainlesse Crests,
Neere where the Princely Lyon doth resort,
And there in pride and sensuall lust do snort,
Yet can they not outstrip all beasts so farr,
But Wisdomes eye perceives them what they are.
The hunting Horse is of good use for pleasure.
The Sumpter Horse doth understand the treasure.
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The Pack-horse overladen measures ground,
The Mare and Gelding serves our businesse well,
Whilst (for poore Hackneyes) England is a Hell.
And what's a Horses gaine for all his paine,
But bread, grasse, hay, oats, or such kind of Graine,
That is the summum bonum, he desires,
Through want of which there's many a good Horse tyres.
I have seene Gallants (three parts drunke almost)
Ride, as they meant to see the Devill in post,
And when they to their journies end have come,
Their horses mucky wet, with sweat and foame,
The Riders fall unto their drinking vaine,
The Ostler walkes the Horse a turne or twaine,
Their jawes tyde up unto the empty Racke,
The whilst their Riders smoake, and swallow sack,
Quaffes, capers, sings a Katch, a round, or Ditty,
And leaves the Horse unto the Hostlers pitty,
And so the jades of meat do get such store,
As Lazarus once had at the Gluttons dore.
Thus many a good Horse proves a jade indeed
Being over rid, and want whereon to feed,
All those that to a beast beares such a mind,
I wish them all so served in their kind.
There's many wayes, mens barbarous cruelty,
Doth cause diseases multiplicity
To be in Horses, and the damned Trade
To sell a Botch'd sophisticated jade,
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He that beleeves me not, let him go seeke.
There shall he see the ambler made to trot,
The lame and founderd, lusty, (being hot)
The trotter shall be forc'd with ease to amble,
And through the horsemarket shall be such scamble
With galloping, and trotting, ambling, pacing,
Most odious swearing, lying, and out-facing,
Such dawbing horses griefes with counterfeiting,
That hee's a cuuning buyer scapes their cheating.
In ancient times, horses much fame did gaine,
Which Poets and Historians do maintaine:
Besides the swift skie-scalding Pegasus,
Great Alexander had Bucephalus,
Reinoldo had his Bayard, and there are,
Names giv'n to horses, both in peace and war.
But leaving stately horses, it is found
The Bear-garden is circular, or rovnd,
Where Iack-an-Apes his horse doth swiftly run
His circuit, like the horses of the Snn.
And quicke as lightning, his will trace and track,
Making that endlesse round his Zodiacke,
Which Iacke (his Rider) bravely rides a straddle,
And in his hot Careere perfumes the saddle;
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And sprung from ancient and approved race,
His grandsires grandsire, was begot perforce,
Between the Night-mare, and the Trojan Horse,
That female Horse of Sinon, in whose wombe
A hundred well-arm'd mad Colts had their roome,
Wch being foald, spoild Troy, with sword & flame,
And from that Jade, our jade descent doth claime,
For (as his parents oft have done before)
He alvvayes keepes a jadish tricke in store.
FJNJS.
| Works of John Taylor the Water Poet not included in the folio volume of 1630 | |