 | The Staple of Newes |  |
The third Intermeane after the third Act.
Censvre.A notable tough Rascall! this old Peny-boy! right
City-bred!
Mirth.
In Siluer-streete, the Region of money, a goodseat for a
Vsurer.
Tatle.
He has rich ingredients in him, I warrant you, if they were extracted,
a true receit to make an Alderman, an' he were well wrought vpon,
according to Art.
Exp.
I would faine see an Alderman in chimia! that is a treatise of
Aldermanity truely written.
Cen.
To shew how much it differs from Vrbanity.
Mirth.
I, or humanity. Either would appeare in this Peny boy,
an' hee were rightly distill'd. But how like you the newes? you are gone
from that.
Cen.
O, they are monstrous! scuruy! and stale! and too exotick!
ill cook'd! and ill dish'd!
Exp.
They were as good, yet, as butter could make them!
Tat.
In a word, they were beastly buttered! he shall neuer come o' my
bread more, nor my in mouth, if I can helpe it. I haue had better newes from
the bake-house, by ten thousand parts, in a morning: or the conduicts in
Westminster! all the newes of Tutle-street, and both the Alm'ries!
the two Sanctuaries long, and round Wool-staple! with Kings-street,
and Chanon-row to boot!
Mirth.
I, my Gossip Tatle knew what fine slips grew in Gardinerslane;
who kist the Butchers wife with the Cowes-breath; what matches
were made in the bowling-Alley, and what bettes wonne and lost; how
much grieft went to the Mill and what besides: who coniur'd in Tutlefields,
and how many? when they neuer came there. And which Boy rode
vpon Doctor Lambe, in the likenesse of a roaring Lyon, that runne away
with him in his teeth, and ha's not deuour'd him yet.
Tat.
Why, I had it from my maid Ioane Heare-say: and shee had
it from a limbe o'the schoole, shee saies, a little limbe of nine yeere old;
who told her, the Master left out his coniuring booke one day, and hee
found it, and so the Fable came about. But whether it were true, or no,
we Gossips are bound to beleeue it, an't be once out, and a foot: how should wee
entertaine the time else, or finde our selues in fashionable discourse, for all
companies, if we do not credit all, and make more of it, in the reporting?
Cen.
For my part, I beleeue it: and there were no wiser then I, I would
haue ne'er a cunning Schoole-Master in England. I meane a Cunning-Man, a
Schoole-Master; that is a Coniurour, or a Poet or
that had any acquaintance with a Poet. They make all their schollers
Play-boyes! Is't not a fine sight, to see all our children made Enterluders?
Doe wee pay our money for this? wee send them to learne their
they talke, we shall haue no more Parliaments (God blesse vs) but an' wee
haue, I hope, Zeale-of-the-land Buzy, and my Gossip, Rabby Trouble-truth
will start vp, and see we shall haue painfull good Ministers to
keepe Schoole, and Catechise our youth, and not teach 'hem to speake
Playes, and Act Fables of falsenewes, in this manner, to the super-uexation
of Towne and Countrey, with a wanion.
| The Staple of Newes | |