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A Strappado for the Diuell

Epigrams and Satyres alluding to the time, with diuers measures of no lesse Delight. By MISOSUKOS[Greek], to his friend PHILOKRATES[Greek] [by Richard Brathwait]

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Come yee braue wooers of Penelope,
Doe not repine that you should crossed be:
For pregnant wits, and ripest braines can show,
As much or more then euer you did know.
And that my storie better may appeare,
Attend to my discourse, and you shall heare.
It chanc't vpon a time (and then was'th time)
When the thigh-fraughted Bee gathered her thyme,
Stored her platted Cell, her fragrant bower,
Crop't from each branch, each blossom & each flower
When'th pretty Lam-kin scarce a fortnight old,
Skipped and froliked 'fore the neighbouring fold,
When'the cheerfull Robin, Larke and Lenaret,
Tun'de vp their voices, and together met,
When'th fearefull Hare to cheere her quaint delight,
Did make her selfe her owne Hermaphrodite,
When th' louely Turtle did her eies awake,
And with swift flight follow'd her faithfull make,
When euery Beast prepar'd her wonted den,
For her owne young, and shade to couer them,
When Flora with her mantle tucked vp,
Gathred the dewie flow'rs, and them did put
In her embrodred skirts which were rancke set,
With Prime-rose, Cow-slip, and the violet,
The dill, the dasie, sweet breath'd Eglantine,
The Crowfoote, pausie, and the Columbine,

88

The pinke, the plantaine, milfoile, euery one,
With Mari-gold that opens with the Sunne;
Euen then it was, (ill may I say it was)
VVhen young Admetus woed a countrey lasse,
A countrie lasse whom he did woe indeede,
To be his Bride, but yet he could not speede.
VVhich forc't him grieue: heare but his cause of woe,
And you'le not wonder why he should doe so?
Vertuous the maide was, and so grac't by fate,
As she was wise, and did degenerate
From her weake witted father: modesty
Lodg'd on her cheeke, and showd virginity
In a faire Rosie colour, which was spread
By equall mixture both of white and red.
So as no white it seem'd, but Idas snow,
No red, but such where Roses vse to grow
And though of Hero many one doe write,
Styling her soueraigne Goddesse of delight,
So faire as she was taken for no other,
Of all that saw her, then Adonis mother.
So pure her skin, so motiue to the eie,
As it did seeme compos'd of Iuorie.
So high and broad her front, so smoth, so euen,
As it did seeme the Frontispice of Heauen.
So purely mixt her cheekes, as it might seeme,
She was by nature made for natures Queene.
So pretty dinted was her dimpled chin,
As't seem'd a gate to let affection in.
So sweete her breath, (as I haue hard them tell)
That like to Cassia she did euer smell.

89

So louely were those mounts of pure delight,
That Gods themselues wer cheered with their sight:
So as great Ioue (for so our Poets say)
Fain'd himselfe sicke for her vpon a day.
Wise Æsculapius he was sent forthwith,
VVho felt Ioues pulse, yet found no signe of death,
Or any great distemper: (yet to please Ioue
For he perceiu'd his malady was loue)
Said; Sir, I'aue found your grief: what i'st (quoth he?)
A meere consumption, yet be rul'd by me,
And follow my directions (though with paine)
And then no doubt you shall be well againe.
Fiue mornes must you to' Abidoes towne repaire,
And suck pure milke from th' fair'st virgin there.
Ioue hearing what he wisht, obey'd bis hest;
And war soone well by sucking Heroes brest.
Yet what was Hero, though the fair'st that was
In all her time vnto Admetus lasse?
Though Heroes beuty did allure all men,
The time is chang'd, now's now, and then was then.
Each milk-maide in fore time was thought a Queen,
So rare was perfect bewty to be seene.
But now, where is no Venus to be had?
Such store I wot there be, thet euery lad
Can haue his tricksie lasse, which wantonlie,
Scarce crept from shell, he dandles on his knee.
But to my storie of such royall parts
VVas she composed, that the very hearts
Of her attendants, as it did apeare,
VVere spous'd to this pure virgin euery vvhere,

90

VVith what resolued silence would her wit,
Oppose her tongue, and seeme to bridle it?
VVith what discretion would she speake her minde,
And nere transgesse those limits she assign'd.
But with that decencie of grace and speech,
As She might seeme the elder sort to teach.
“VVhat a blest sexe were woman if this song
VVere onely learnt them, for to hold their tongue,
And speake no more (O t'were a lesson good)
Then that were fit, and what they vnderstood?
But when will that be taught them! O (I feare)
Neuer; for womens tongues be euery where.
So as at first, if they had no tongue,
It may be thought they would not haue been dumb.
Such is th' ternall motion that its sayd,
When women speechlesse lie they're neerly dead.
This virgin which Admetus sought to haue,
Beside her vertues, then which who could craue,
A better portion, had an ample dowre,
VVhich did enrich those gifts that were before
Expressed and dilated, and to tell
The very trueth, she lou'd Admetus well.
And could haue brook't all others t'haue denide,
So that she might haue been Admetus bride.
But he a shamefast lad, though oft he sought
Her loue, yet durst not vtter what he thought.
Nor to her parents could impart his minde,
How he affected was, and how inclinde.
Yet still was he respected, and in grace,
Nor any sought to put him out of place.

91

Nor to withdraw th' affection of the maid,
From that foundation where it once was laid
For three months space, hung it in this suspence,
Neither conceald nor showne: till's Excellence,
For so was th' Title of a noble Squire,
Whose liuing bordered in th' adioyning shire,
By an intendment (as he thought vpon't)
Put poore Admetus nose quite out of ioynt,
And thus it was: for I meane to repeat
By what deceit, what cunning slight and cheat,
He bobd this simple Swaineling; on a day,
When young Admetus had addrest his way
To Troinouant, where he occasion had,
“His Excellence in th' absence of the ladde,
Acquaints another with Bellinaes loue,
(For so her name was:) he more prompt to moue
Affection, then Admetus ere could be,
VVins me Bellina's fort couragiously,
By new assaults, incursions, and displaid
His youngling Colours: when the breach was made.
O how methinks I see th' young Souldier sweat,
Till he hath done, and perfected his fear.
How he assailes, assaults, ascends, inclines,
Inuades, inuirons, ruines, vndermines,
VVhil'st she like to a Fort opprest doth lye,
Depriu'd all meanes of helpe, yet will not crye.
He like a stout victorious Hanniball,
Bidding her yeeld, or he will raze the wall.
She though made subiect to his conquering hand,
Like Carthage Queene still at defiance stands.

92

He (with the Spirit of a Mirmidon,)
Makes her the Carpet which he lies vpon.
She (Deianira-like) will chuse death first,
Ere she craue mercy, bids him doe his worst.
He enters th' breach, and doth his signall rere,
And leaues some token that he has beene there:
She glories in her conquest, and throwne downe,
Saies, I am low, yet am not ouercome.
He doth renew his battery, and stands too't,
And she Vyrago-like, yeelds not a foote.
He takes more firmer grounding, yet is she
Still as she was, lower she cannot be.
He plants his Engines deeper, labours more,
Yet she protests, its worse then twas before.
He enters parlye, and speakes ore the wall,
But she (as sencelesse) answers not at all.
He sounds retreat, and to his campe doth creepe,
Which makes her wake out of her pleasant sleepe.
Then in a sweete entwining doe they clippe,
And cull and kisse, and from the rosie lippe
Of Hymens chast embraces doe they tast,
The sweets aboue, when lower ioyes be past.
Heere is the spell of sweet-charmd Morphus
Dissolu'd to nothing, by charmes amorous.
For though men (after Labour) rest doe seeke,
Loues eyes be open still, and cannot sleepe.
Iudge what Admetus thought when he did heare,
Of this report, soone whispered in his eare,
How he did looke? how strange perplext he was,
Thus to bee cheated of his louely lasse?

93

Pipe could he not, his cheeks were growne so thinne,
His pipe-bagge torne, no wind it could keepe in,
His cloue-ear'd curre lay hanging downe his head,
And for foure dayes, would tast no kind of bread.
His Flockes did pine (all went contrary way)
Heere lay Admetus, there his Sheep-crooke lay,
All wea-begane, thus liu'd the Shepheard long,
Till on a day inspired with a song,
(For so it seem'd) to others more then me,
Which thus he sung to maids inconstancy.