University of Virginia Library

The proof here adduced by Sir Bolus of the existence of French influence is certainly one of the strongest that I have seen, and I really do not perceive how the American government can get over it. There can be no stronger proof of our regard for a friend, than that of naming our offspring after him, and certainly the naming of a town, is, if possible, a more striking proof of devotion. Being ignorant of the existence of these two places, Havre de Grace, and French town, I had hitherto supposed this charge of French influence against the American President, had no foundation. But I now without hesitation, coincide with Mr. Quincy, Lord Castlereagh, the Prince Regent, and other distinguished persons. So far should the President be from complaining, that I think he ought to be highly obliged to Sir Cockburn, for destroying such glaring proofs of his apostacy from the true interests of his country.

Sir Bolus is here jocular upon the letter of Sir Beresford, giving a pompous account of the walls of Lewistown, which at some future period will most likely be equally celebrated with these of ancient Troy, for having some Bully Hector, like the redoubted Knight, dragged by the heels round them. As the valour of the English seems altogether predicated of roast-beef, I think the Americans are in the right to keep them from procuring it, as much as possible; in which care they will in all probability be able to prevent their making any impression upon that country. The only satisfactory reason why an English sailor beats a Frenchman, is that the former eats roast-beef, when he can get it and the latter, soup, which is much more likely to make a man run away than fight.

There can be no greater proof of the truth of this theory, than the events which have taken place on the Ocean, since the commencement of the present contest with America. It is a singular fact, which has hitherto escaped the sages who have attempted to account for the unexpected results of our late Naval engagements, that they all took place on what is called Banyan Days; that is, those particular days of the week set apart for the special eating of soup. That this, and not any small superiority of force, or any physical superiority in the men, or any superior excitement on the part of the enemy, “nor any over anxiety on our part to come to close quarters,” was the true cause of our repeated disasters, on our “own element,” I think cannot be doubted. In order to avoid such repeated disgrace in future, it would be advisable, either to strike the Banyan days out of the nautical calendar, or else always to make a point of coming to action some other day in the week.