University of Virginia Library

Colloquium

Virginia Gentleman Dead

—ed.

By Michael Crossley

A legend still lives on today,
even though the reason for its
existence has long since died. That
legend - the "Virginia Gentleman"
- is about to die its own natural, if
overdue, death.

Having just returned to The
University after a four-year absence,
I am amazed by the changes
that have taken place. Much of the
change is good, but I am sad to see
some traditions being killed simply
because they are traditions. Being a
gentleman, even though it has been
a tradition at The University, is still
an ideal that more people should
try to live by. Kindness, good
manners, and courtesy belong to no
one social, economic or ethnic
group. The so-called hippies could
teach many of us a lesson in
common courtesy. At a university
renowned for its "gentlemen" one
is astonished by its lack of real
gentlemen. Nor am I alone in this
observation listen to some
comments from the neighboring
girl's colleges: "Too many boys try
to play the role of BMOC', the big
drinker and lover. All too often
manners and common courtesies
are neglected." "Many are too
concerned with impressing their
fraternity brothers, which usually
means grossing their dates out."
"They ("Virginia Gentlemen") are
so involved with drinking (after all,
what would a UVa guy be without
his trusty flask in his back pocket?)
and other things that they often
disregard the girl's wishes." One
fact stands out very clearly in the
letters I have received on Virginia
Gentlemen the girls feel he no
longer exists. They are also extremely
unimpressed by the normal
UVa behavior lack of courtesy
and consideration, hard drinking,
and generally crude behavior. If
they can't find what they are
looking for here, they'll look
somewhere else. That is something
to think about and remember the
next time you have a date.

These girls were also unanimous
in stating that they like to have a
good time - "I enjoy having a good
time, but not with a guy who insists
on being crude." "Frankly, we'd
like to meet a boy who is interested
in a girl as a person, not just as a
sex partner. We like to have a good
time too, but at the same time we
are looking for a more meaningful
relationship."

Since the true Virginia gentleman
is practically extinct, some
new breed must have replaced him.
One group of girls was kind enough
to catalogue them for me:

"We will start with the shy and
innocent type. This is the one who
is completely "hands off," a complete
gentleman. That is until he
relates back to his friends how we
had slept with him on the first date.
By trying to make his reputation,
he is in the process of breaking
ours.

"Next, we have the type that
rolls down on a weekday night for a
little action. He doesn't give a damn
about the girl, all he's interested in
is sex, anywhere or anyway he can
get it.

"The next type is the one that
lures a girl to Charlottesville, with
arrangements for approved housing,
but when the girl arrives, somehow
the plans seem to have fallen
through, but she should be thankful
because her date just happens to
have a bed that he would gladly
share with her for the weekend.

"It has been said that UVa boys
meet you at the bus, fill you up
with beer, and try to get what ever
they can. This is no myth.

"How about the one that is
really nice on the first date, but
baby, that second date is another
story. You find yourself at a motel
party, but it is just the two of you,
a single room . . . with no TV!

"Last but not least, there is the
typical "Virginia gentleman" -
three piece suit, London Fog
raincoat. Benrus watch, Florsheim
shoes, black umbrella, monogrammed
shirt with matching tie,
silver flask, and across his hands in
blue and orange are the immortal
words "Virginia Stud."

It would appear that the University
will only be known as a party
college (I have noticed that people
don't seem to enjoy the parties as
much as they used to perhaps
they are too apathetic now?) from
now on, since her gentlemen have
all passed away. Unless upperclassmen
start setting a good, mature
example, the behavior at The
University will continue to degenerate.
Incoming first year men
pattern their behavior on those
around them. If they see the
normal way to act is to gross their
dates out, then they will follow
that example. Acting like or being a
gentleman does not mean one can't
have a good time. In fact the
opposite is true. It has its own
rewards.