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All the workes of Iohn Taylor the Water-Poet

Being Sixty and three in Number. Collected into one Volume by the Author [i.e. John Taylor]: With sundry new Additions, corrected, reuised, and newly Imprinted

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A DOGGE OF VVARRE, OR, The Trauels of Drunkard, the famous Curre of the Round Woollstaple in Westminster.
  
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225

A DOGGE OF VVARRE, OR, The Trauels of Drunkard, the famous Curre of the Round Woollstaple in Westminster.

His seruices in the Netherlands, and lately in FRANCE, with his home returne.


226

To the Reader.

Reader , if you expect from hence,
For ouerplus of wit or Sence,
I deale with no such Traffique:
Heroicks and lambicks I,
My Buskinde Muse hath laid them by,
Pray bee content with Saphicke.
Drunkard the Dog my Patron is,
And hee doth loue mee well for this,
Whose loue I take for Guerdon;
And hee's a Dog of Mars, his Traine
Who hath seene men and Horses slaine,
The like was neuer heard on.

A Dogge of Warre.

Stand cleare, my masters 'ware your shins,
For now to barke my Muse begins,
'Tis of a Dogge, I write now:
Yet let mee tell you for excuse,
That Muse or Dogge, or Dogge or Muse,
Haue no intent to bite now.
In doggrell Rimes my Lines are writ,
As for a Dogge I thought it fit,
And fitting best his Carkas.
Had I beene silent as a Stoicke,
Or had I writ in Verse Heroicke,
Then had I beene a Starke Asse.
Old Homer wrot of Frogges and Mice,
And Rablaies wrot of Nittes and Lice,
And Virgill of A Flye.
One wrot the Treatise of the Foxe,
Another praisd the Frenchmans Poxe,
Whose praise was but a Lye.
Great Alexander had a Horse,
A famous Beast of mighty force
Y cleap'd Bucephalus:
Hee was a stout and sturdie Steed,
And of an ex'lent Race and Breed,
But that concernes not vs.
I list not write the bable praise
Of Apes, or Owles, or Popinjaies,
Or of the Cat Grimmalkin

227

But of a true and trusty Dogge,
Who well could faune, but neuer cogge,
His praise my Pen must walke in.
And Drunkard hee is falsely nam'd,
For which that Vice he ne'r was blam'd,
For hee loues not god Baechus:
The Kitchin he esteems morre deere,
Then Cellers full of Wine or Beare,
Which oftentimes doth wracke vs.
Hee is no Mastiffe, huge of lim,
Or Water-spaniell, that can swim,
Nor bloud-hound or no Setter:
No Bob-taile Tyke, or Trundle-taile,
Nor can the Partridge spring or Quaile,
But yet hee is much better.
No Daintie Ladies fisting-Hound,
That liue's vpon our Britaine Ground,
Nor Mungrell Cur or Shog:
Should Litters, or whole Kennells dare,
With honest Drunkard to compare,
My pen writes, marry fough.
The Otter Hound, the Foxe Hound, nor
The swift foote Grey-hound car'd hee for,
Nor Cerberus Hells Bandogge;
His seruice prooues them Curs and Tikes,
And his renowne a terror strikes,
In Water dogge and Land dogge.
Gainst braue Buquoy, or stout Dampiere,
Hee durst haue bark'd withouten feare,
Or 'gainst the hot Count Tilly:
At Bergen Laguer and Bredha,
Against the Noble Spinola,
He shewd himselfe not silly.
He seru'd his Master at commands,
In the most warlike Netherlands,
In Holand, Zealand, Brabant,
Hee to him still was true and iust,
And if his fare were but a Crust,
Hee patiently would knab on't.
He durst t'haue stood sterne Aiax frowne,
When wise Vlisses talk'd him downe
In graue Diebus illis,
When he by cunning prating won
The Armour, from fierce Tellamon,
That longed to Achilles:
Braue Drunkard, oft on Gods deere ground,
Tooke such poore lodging as he found,
In Towne, Field, Campe or cottage
His Bed but cold, his dyet thin,
He oft in that poore case was in,
To want both Meate and Pottage.
Two rowes of Teeth for Armes, he bore,

228

Which in his mouth hee alwaies wore,
Which seru'd to fight and feed too:
His grumbling for his Drum did passe,
And barking (lowd) his Ordnance was,
Which help'd in time of need too.
His Taile his Ensigne hee did make,
Which he would oft display, and shake,
Fast in his Poope vpreared:
His Powder hot, but somewhat danke,
His Shot in (sent) most dangerous ranke,
Which sometimes made him feared:
Thus hath he long seru'd neere and farre,
Well knowne to be A Dogge of Warre,
Though hee ne'r shot with Musket;
Yet Cannons roare, or Culuerings,
That whizzing through the welkin sings,
He slighted as a Pusse-Cat.
For Guns, nor Drums, nor Trumpets clang,
Nor hunger, cold, nor many a pang,
Could make him leaue his Master:
In ioy, and in aduersitie,
In plentie, and in pouertie,
Hee often was a Taster.
Thus seru'd he on the Belgia Coast,
Yet ne'r was heard to to brag or boast,
Of seruices done by him:
Hee is no Pharisey to blow
A Trumpet, his good deedes to show,
'Tis pitty to belie him.
At last hee home return'd in peace,
Till warres, and iarres, and scarres increase
Twixt vs, and France, in malice:
Away went hee and crost the Sea,
With's Master, to the Isle of Rhea,
A good way beyond Callice.
Hee was so true, so good, so kinde,
He scornd to stay at home behinde,
And leaue his Master frustrate;
For which, could I like Ouid write,
Or else like Virgill could endite,
I would his praise illustrate.
I wish my hands could neuer stirre,
But I do loue a thankfull Curre,
More then a Man ingratefull:
And this poore dogges fidelity,
May make a thanklesse Knaue discry,
How much that vice is hatefull.
For why, of all the faults of Men,
Which they haue got from Hels blacke den,
Ingratitude the worst is:
For treasons, murthers, incests, rapes,
Nor any sinne in any shapes,

229

So bad, nor so accurst is.
I hope I shall no anger gaine,
If I doe write a word or twaine,
How this dogge was distressed:
His master being wounded dead,
Shot, cut and slash'd, from heele to head,
Thinke how he was oppressed,
To lose him that he loued most,
And be vpon a forreigne Coast,
Where no man would relieue him:
He lick'd his Masters wounds in loue,
And from his Carkas would not moue,
Although the sight did grieue him.
By chance a Soudier passing by,
That did his masters Coate espy,
And quicke away he tooke it;
But Drunkard followed to a Boate,
To haue again his Masters Coate.
Such theft hee could not brooke it.
So after all his woe and wracke,
To Westminster he was brought backe,
A poore halfe starued Creature;
And in remembrance of his cares,
Vpon his backe hee closely weares,
A Mourning Coate by nature.
Liue Drunkard, sober Drunkard liue,
I know thou no offence wlt giue,
Thou art a harmles dumb thing;
And for thy loue I'le freely grant,
Rather then thou shouldst euer want,
Each day to giue thee something.
For thou hast got a good report,
Of which ther's many a Dog comes short,
And very few Men, gaine it;
Though they all dangers brauely bide,
And watch, fast, fight, runne, goe and rde,
Yet hardly they attaine it.
Some like Dominicall Letters goe,
In Scarlet from the top to toe,
Whose valours talke and smoake all.
Who make (God sink'em) their discourse.
Refuse, Renounce, or Dam, that's worse,
I wish a halter choake all.
Yet all their talke is Bastinado,
Strong Armado Hot Scalado,
Smoaking Trinidado.
Of Canuasado, Pallizado
Of the secret Ambuscado,
Boasting with Brauado.
If Swearing could but make a Man,
Then each of these is one that can

230

With oathes, an Army scatter:
If Oathes could conquer Fort, or Hold,
Then I presume these Gallants could
With Braggs, a Castle batter.
Let such but thinke on Drunkards fame,
And note therewith their merits blame,
How both are vniuersall;
Then would such Coxcombs blush to see
They by a dog outstrip'd should be,
Whose praise is worth rehearsall.
The times now full of danger are,
And we are round ingadg'd in warre,
Our foes would faine distresse vs:
Yet may a stubborne mizer knaue,
Will giue no Coyne his Throat to saue,
If he were stor'd like Crœsus.
These hide-bound Varlets, worse then Turkes,
Top full with Faith, but no Good workes,
A crew of fond Precise-men;
In factions, and in emulation,
Caterpillers of a Nation,
Whom few esteeme. for wise men.
But leauing such to mend, or end:
Backe to the Dogge my Verse doth bend,
Whose worth, the subiect mine is:
Though thou a doggs life heere dost lead,
Let not a doggs death strike thee dead:
And make thy fatall Finis.
Thou shalt be Stellifide by mee,
I'le make the Dog-star waite on thee,
And in his toome I'le seat thee:
When Soll doth in his Progresse swinge,
And in the Dogge-dayes hotly singe,
Hee shall not ouer heate thee.
So honest Drunkard now adue,
Thy praise no longer I'le pursue,
But still my loue is to thee:
And when thy life is gon and spent,
These Lines shall be thy Monument,
And shall much seruice doe thee.
I lou'd thy master, so did all
That knew him, great and small,
And he did well deserue it:
For hee was honest, valiant, good,
And one that manhood vnderstood,
And did till death preserue it:
For wose sake, I'le his Dog prefer,
And at the Dogge at Westminster,
Shall Drunkard be a Bencher;
Where I will set a worke his chaps,
Not with bare bones, or broken scraps,
But Victualls from my Trencher.

231

All those my Lines that Ill digest,
Or madly doe my meaning wrest,
In malice, or derision:
Kinde Drunkard, prethee bite them all,
And make them reele from wall to wall,
With Wine, or Maults, incision.
I know when foes did fight or parle,
Thou valiantly wouldest grin and snarle,
Against an Army aduerse;
Which made me bold, with rusticke Pen,
Stray heere and there, and backe agen,
To blaze thy fame in mad Verse.
It was no Auaritious scope,
Or flattrie, or the windie hope
Of any fee, or stipend:
For none, nor yet for all of these,
But only my poore selfe to please,
This mighty Volume I Pen'd

ANNO.

This Series writ the day and yeare,
That Seacoales were exceeding deare.

232

FINIS.