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Labour in Vain

or, What Signifies Little or Nothing. Viz. I. The Poor Man's Petitioning at Court. II. Expectation of Benefit from a Covetous Man in his Life-time. III. The Marriage of an Old Man to a Young Woman. IV. Endeavours to Regulate Mens Manners by Preaching or Writing. V. Being a Jacobite. VI. Confining an Insolvent Debtor. VII. Promise of Secrecy in a Conspiracy. VIII. An Enquiry after a Place [by Edward Ward]

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3

The Poor Man's Petitioning at Court.

[At once his Quondam Friends sounded Retreat]

At once his Quondam Friends sounded Retreat,
Wou'd scarce afford good Words, and much less Meat
To see his Face, they'd never after Care,
As if his very Looks Infectious were:
Like Careful Bees, to their own Hives they flew:
As he from Fortune, they from him withdrew.

4

[Then tell me how the Poor shall find relief]

Then tell me how the Poor shall find relief,
Or gain a Cure for Undeserved Grief,
Their Fate depending on a King's Belief.

[Before a Fav'rite, none shall be believ'd]

Before a Fav'rite, none shall be believ'd
And 'gainst the Rich, 'tis hard to be Reliev'd:

5

In vain you offer up an empty Prayer,
Which Fattens not the Courtier, or his Heir;
Something that's Solid, and of real Good,
(At least for such by Worldlings understood)
Must be presented, if you'd favour find,
Which rarely warms th'Endowments of the Mind;
But to the Fortunate, and Rich are kind.
Since Money weighs down Justice and Desert,
The Poor's Desires don't signifie a Fart.

Expectations of Benefit from a Covetous Man in his Life-time.


7

[The Misers Wish, is of a vast Extent]

The Misers Wish, is of a vast Extent,
And would Engross, beneath the Firmament,
All that it likes; still Covetous, would try
To Merchandize with Spirits of the Sky.
His Wishes only to Advantage tend,
From Self's their Origin, in Self they End;
So cannot be Diffusive to a Friend.
In Vain a Favour you expect from such,
You may as well expect one from the D---.

The Marriage of an Old Man to a Young Woman.


9

[When Waves Swol'n high by force of mighty Wind]

When Waves Swol'n high by force of mighty Wind,
They fiercely meet, and are in Battic joyn'd;
The frothy Salt, with motion's set on Fire;
But Wash'd with Native Water, soon expire:

10

So toss'd by Billows of remaining Lust,
Which Shuffles up and down the Aged Dust,
Salt Sparks are blown into a sudden Flame,
But Ages Moisture soon does quench the same.
The old Mans boasting Promises in Love,
Do little signifie, as Women prove;
'Tis Vapour all, and Limber as my Glove.
In Vain the Aged Man hopes to Receive
Blessings, which only Spritely Youth can give;
In Vain a Woman does expect a Trade,
From one whom Stingy Age has Bankrupt made;
Such Disappointments happen to them both,
Which makes the Marriage prove of little worth.

Endeavours to Regulate Mens Manners by Preaching or Writing.


12

[He that would bar me of a coming Joy]

He that would bar me of a coming Joy,
And by strict Rules, my Liberty Destroy,
In Trammels makes me Pace away my Life,
'Twixt Nature and his Rules is constant strife;

13

So Irksom, and Uneasie I must be,
By Reason of their great Antipathy;
This is the Language of th'Unthinking Man,
Who led by Custom, loves to be Prophane;
And will not change his Road, what e're you Teach,
Scarce tho' a Jonah once again should Preach:
But still that Monkey, Man, would Imitate,
And Virtue Practice, Copy'd from the Great.
Examples, wanting Precepts, are but Vain;
And moving Arguments in florid strain,
Won't make the Blockish Crow'd from Ill Refrain.

Being a Jacobite.


16

[Allow Sentiments offer'd, right, or wrong]

Allow Sentiments offer'd, right, or wrong,
If Judge and Jury too, joyn with the Throng;
In Contradiction to the present Thought,
My sole Opinion signifieth nought.
'Tis over-rul'd, and I am surely cast,
Which proves the fate of Separists at last;
For to oppose tde Torrent of a Stream,
Resist a greater Power, is like my Dream,
Which fancies mighty Riches, mighty Power,
But Poor and Weak, I meet the waking Hour;
With a Probatim est some sadly tell,
What once they were, to what they now are fell.

Confining an Insolvent Debtor.


19

[Ask but the cruel Man, what he would have]

Ask but the cruel Man, what he would have
From his poor Debtor, to his will a Slave
Confin'd in Prison, presently he'll say
My Money, yet acts quite contrary way
To gain his end; for, how can one expect,
Where no Cause moves, there should be an Effect.
What silly Farmer will confine his Cow
From needful Herbage, for no hear der Low
For Food; or in reason can he believe,
By such Confinement, he shall Milk receive:
As silly is the Hope, when you confine
A Man Insolvent, for to raise the Coyn.

Promise of Secrecy in a Conspiracy.


21

[Whilst a protecting Providence do sway]

Whilst a protecting Providence do sway,
Whilst Men Inspir'd dictates do obey,
Whilst Life has Value, and Reward has Love,
Protested Secresie in Ill does prove
Of small Validity; the first will act
What's Consonant to Justice of a Fact:
The Second by Impulsive Power Command,
What wo'n't Man do to keep his wasting Sand?
And bountiful Reward makes Men betray
Their dearest Kin, and Friendship wipes away.
Subject to Power, and tempted by a Bait,
Too pleasing to deny, of little weight
Proves promis'd Privacy; then why should I
Meddle in Plots, in Hopes of Secresie?

29

[To what Extremities am I driven]

To what Extremities am I driven,
When Parish-Clarks bar my Converse with Heav'n,
As much as in the surly Rascals lye;
Who by the Face, the Pocket do descry,
And Sine Pence, admittance they deny!
These under Graduate Peters of the Church,
Would Sell to Simon the Heavenly Gift,
If to their Avarice and Humour left,
Perhaps the Mon did my Misfortunes know,
Affraid to Trust me, who so much did Owe.
Deny'd admittance, lest that I should pray
Blessings, for which they thought I'd never Pay.

[Fed up with Hope by such, his Money's spent]

Fed up with Hope by such, his Money's spent,
But has no greater Prospect, than if Lent
To needy Noblemen, of it's return,
Who seldom Pay a Debt, but to the Urn.
Place-Brokers to Enquirers still speak Fair,
Blow up a Bubble Globe, which turns to Air
Like Lottery Projectors draw a Scheme,
How Thousands may be got,
If, if they Draw the Lot,
But Hit, or Miss, there's Profit still to them.
FINIS.