The Catholick Poet or, Protestant Barnaby's Sorrowful Lamentation: An Excellent New Ballad [by John Oldmixon] |
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 | The Catholick Poet |  |
1
THE Catholick Poet;
OR, Protestant BARNABY's Sorrowful Lamentation: An Excellent NEW BALLAD.
My Song is of SAWNY, the Poet of Windsor,
Whose HOMER will sell, when the Devil is blind, Sir;
And the Hump is before him, that now is behind, Sir;
Which no Body can deny.
Whose HOMER will sell, when the Devil is blind, Sir;
And the Hump is before him, that now is behind, Sir;
Which no Body can deny.
His Muse fed with Sack:
Growing warmer, and warmer,
He Ravish'd a Lock from the pretty Bell. Fermor,
And thought with vile Smut to have charmed, the Charmer;
Which, &c.
He Ravish'd a Lock from the pretty Bell. Fermor,
And thought with vile Smut to have charmed, the Charmer;
Which, &c.
On the Stage Collier fell, long ago, and did maul it;
He cares not for that, he's more Bawdy than all yet,
Ev'n Horner Would blush at his Lewd What d'ye call it;
Which, &c.
He cares not for that, he's more Bawdy than all yet,
Ev'n Horner Would blush at his Lewd What d'ye call it;
Which, &c.
This Papist, this Atheist, this FIGURE, this Writer,
Feels his Purse to grow heavier, as Lintott's grows lighter;
Ah Barnaby Bernard Thou'rt Bit, tho' a Biter;
Which, &c.
Feels his Purse to grow heavier, as Lintott's grows lighter;
Ah Barnaby Bernard Thou'rt Bit, tho' a Biter;
Which, &c.
2
When he has undone thee, his Muse will be jaded,
And grinning he'll cry, thou hast traded, and traded,
But never did'st know what was Greek for a Spade yet;
Which, &c.
And grinning he'll cry, thou hast traded, and traded,
But never did'st know what was Greek for a Spade yet;
Which, &c.
From Learned and Simple, from Goers and Comers,
From Oxford, and Cambridge, from Rome and St. Omers,
A Thousand Subscriptions I got for my HOMERS;
Which, &c.
From Oxford, and Cambridge, from Rome and St. Omers,
A Thousand Subscriptions I got for my HOMERS;
Which, &c.
Quoth Lintott, G---d Z---ds, tho' you bully and vapour,
I value your Pen, Sir, no more than your Rapier;
What a Plague are your HOMERS to me but waste Paper?
Which, &c.
I value your Pen, Sir, no more than your Rapier;
What a Plague are your HOMERS to me but waste Paper?
Which, &c.
'Tis a Lye by the Mass, cries the Catholick Poet,
To the Wall will I stick thee,—Quo' Bernard, aye do it;
I'm a Protestant, Z---ds, and I'll make you to know it;
Which, &c.
To the Wall will I stick thee,—Quo' Bernard, aye do it;
I'm a Protestant, Z---ds, and I'll make you to know it;
Which, &c.
Dear Bubble, the Poet reply'd, with some Kisses,
As dull, and as heavy a Bargain as this is;
You may thank me, I think, that I left the Odysses;
Which, &c.
As dull, and as heavy a Bargain as this is;
You may thank me, I think, that I left the Odysses;
Which, &c.
A Pox of your Picture
cries Barnaby Bernard,
Who the De'el would ha' Dealings with those they call Learned,
'Tis eating one's Pudding before one has earn'd it,
Which, &c.
Who the De'el would ha' Dealings with those they call Learned,
'Tis eating one's Pudding before one has earn'd it,
Which, &c.
Nay, prithee says Sawny, don't mutter and mumble;
Thou'lt ne'er get a Groat, if thou always dost grumble,
Come, pay, and Print on, and I'll be thy most humble;
Which, &c.
Thou'lt ne'er get a Groat, if thou always dost grumble,
Come, pay, and Print on, and I'll be thy most humble;
Which, &c.
I'm a Dog if I do, reply'd he, let me tell ye,
As bad as my Nose is, by G--- I can smell ye;
Tho' I have no Pope, you've a Chap in your Belly;
Which, &c.
As bad as my Nose is, by G--- I can smell ye;
Tho' I have no Pope, you've a Chap in your Belly;
Which, &c.
Quoth Sawny, I'll burn my next Book, by St. Peter;
Quoth Bernard, I care not, G---d D---m ye, your Metre
Will make any Mortal a Minter or Fleeter;
Which, &c.
Quoth Bernard, I care not, G---d D---m ye, your Metre
Will make any Mortal a Minter or Fleeter;
Which, &c.
[_]
Note, The Reader is desir'd to excuse the Swearing in this Ballad, without which, Mr. Lintott's Character had been misrepresented, it being, as Mr. Pope has observ'd, his Essential Qualification.
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