 | The Dutch-Miller, and New Invented Wind-Miller |  |
The Dutch-Miller, and New Invented Wind-Miller,
Or, An exact description of a rare Artist newly come into England, who undertakes to Grind all sorts of Women; whether old, decriped, wrinckled, blear-eyed, long nosed, blind, lame, scold, jealous, angry, poor, or all others whatsoever: he'l ingage they shall come out of his Mill, young, active, pleasant, handsome, wise, modest, loving, kind and rich, without any defect, or deformity, and just suitable to their Husbands humours, and dispositions, as he hath often experienced in other Countries where he hath made practice of his Art. The rich for money, and the poor for nothing.
Then bring your Wives unto my Mill,
And young for old you shall have still.
And young for old you shall have still.
[Part 1.]
I am
a brave Miller but newly come o're,
Of such a rare Artist you ne'r heard before,
For with my new Mill such rare feats I have done,
Ile grind your old women, and make them all young.
Of such a rare Artist you ne'r heard before,
For with my new Mill such rare feats I have done,
Ile grind your old women, and make them all young.
Then stay a while gallants, and make not such hast,
Till you of my Office have taken a taste;
'Tis worth your attention, if that you will be,
Made free from all troubles, and live happily.
Till you of my Office have taken a taste;
'Tis worth your attention, if that you will be,
Made free from all troubles, and live happily.
There's many a married man I dare to say,
Could wish that I sooner had come this way:
For never a Doctor in the whole land,
Can do such rare cures as you shall understand.
Could wish that I sooner had come this way:
For never a Doctor in the whole land,
Can do such rare cures as you shall understand.
For he that is married unto a cross scold,
Or to an old Granny of ninety years old:
They needs must commend me or else do me wrong,
If I grind them both till they'r patient and young.
Or to an old Granny of ninety years old:
They needs must commend me or else do me wrong,
If I grind them both till they'r patient and young.
The Old, the decriped, the blind, and the lame,
I'le make them all active and fit for the game:
Nay, she that's so old, that she's bed-rid with age,
Il make her young again, I will engage.
I'le make them all active and fit for the game:
Nay, she that's so old, that she's bed-rid with age,
Il make her young again, I will engage.
He that hath a mind to a Widdow that's old,
And fain would be married to finger her gold,
Bring her to my Mill, and i'le grind her so small,
That she may be young again, handsome and all.
And fain would be married to finger her gold,
Bring her to my Mill, and i'le grind her so small,
That she may be young again, handsome and all.
The man that is troubled with a jealous wife,
That's cross and untoward, and weary of's life:
If once in my Hopper I have her to grind,
Be sure she'l come out in a far better mind.
That's cross and untoward, and weary of's life:
If once in my Hopper I have her to grind,
Be sure she'l come out in a far better mind.
And she that's deformed and hath a long nose,
Though crooked like Mother Shipton she goes,
Ile grind her until she be handsom and right,
And fit for a Gallant to play with all night.
Though crooked like Mother Shipton she goes,
Ile grind her until she be handsom and right,
And fit for a Gallant to play with all night.
Uiew here but my picture, and mark well my Mill,
And see how my customers flocketh in still:
You may be assured I please them to'th life,
Each man is so ready to bring in his wife.
And see how my customers flocketh in still:
You may be assured I please them to'th life,
Each man is so ready to bring in his wife.
Here is an old woman I have on my back,
I bear her up stairs, you may see, a pick pack;
When once I have [illeg.] her, i'le pass you my word,
That she shall be young [illeg.] and a bit for a Lord.
I bear her up stairs, you may see, a pick pack;
When once I have [illeg.] her, i'le pass you my word,
That she shall be young [illeg.] and a bit for a Lord.
The second part, to the same Tune.
There's
honest Jack Doe-little to ease his sorrow,
Takes pains to put his wife in a wheel-barow,
But yet he labours all for his own ends,
Because when she's ground she will make him amends.
Takes pains to put his wife in a wheel-barow,
But yet he labours all for his own ends,
Because when she's ground she will make him amends.
The Water-man hath got three in his boat,
And each one hath promis'd to give him a groat,
For they are resolved no money to spare,
So they may but once again be Market-ware.
And each one hath promis'd to give him a groat,
For they are resolved no money to spare,
So they may but once again be Market-ware.
There is an old Woman that sits by my Stone,
She is at her Prayers and making her moan,
Let any one heave her but up to my Mill,
Ile make her as young as the best of them still.
She is at her Prayers and making her moan,
Let any one heave her but up to my Mill,
Ile make her as young as the best of them still.
There's Will he is hugging his wife by the middle,
And he is resolved to find out the Riddle,
So she may be young again, for his own part,
He cares not if she be ground until she fart.
And he is resolved to find out the Riddle,
So she may be young again, for his own part,
He cares not if she be ground until she fart.
A Coach full of Ladies you here may behold,
That now are deformed and grown very old,
If I have but wind, I will miss of my aim,
If they may not live to be fit for the game.
That now are deformed and grown very old,
If I have but wind, I will miss of my aim,
If they may not live to be fit for the game.
You see there is Monsieur hath got his new wife,
She past from the Mill, and is now come to life;
Before she was crooked, and peevish and blind,
But now she is beautiful, pleasant and kind.
She past from the Mill, and is now come to life;
Before she was crooked, and peevish and blind,
But now she is beautiful, pleasant and kind.
So Taffie likewise doth bow to the ground,
To see that a young for an old he hath found,
Kind Complements he now to heo doth afford,
Who formerly never gave him a good word.
To see that a young for an old he hath found,
Kind Complements he now to heo doth afford,
Who formerly never gave him a good word.
By this you may see what an Artist I am,
To make an old scold be as meek as a Lamb:
You that have bad wives and do hear of my Mill,
If you will not come you may stay away still.
To make an old scold be as meek as a Lamb:
You that have bad wives and do hear of my Mill,
If you will not come you may stay away still.
And he that is poor, and hath got a bad wife,
Let him take my counsel to rid him of strife,
Bring her to my Hopper, i'le shake her about,
And she shall be rich enough when she comes out.
Let him take my counsel to rid him of strife,
Bring her to my Hopper, i'le shake her about,
And she shall be rich enough when she comes out.
All this i'le perform at a very small rate,
The Rich shall pay little, the poor not a groat:
Then say such a Miller is now come ashore,
That can do such feats as was ne'r done before.
The Rich shall pay little, the poor not a groat:
Then say such a Miller is now come ashore,
That can do such feats as was ne'r done before.
Then come along Customers, pray come away,
Make hast, for I have but a wysle for to stay:
When once I am gone, 'tis too late to repent,
Then lay out your Money before 'tis all spent.
Make hast, for I have but a wysle for to stay:
When once I am gone, 'tis too late to repent,
Then lay out your Money before 'tis all spent.
| The Dutch-Miller, and New Invented Wind-Miller | |