 | Every Man In His Humour |  |
Act IV, Scene vii
[Enter] MATTHEW [and] BOBADILLMATTHEW
I wonder, Captain, what they will say of my going away? Ha?
BOBADILL
Why, what should they say, but as of a discreet gentleman? Quick, wary, respectful of nature's fair lineaments; and that's all.
MATTHEW
Why, so! But what can they say of your beating?
BOBADILL
A rude part, a touch with soft wood, a kind of gross battery used, laid on strongly, borne most patiently; and that's all.
MATTHEW
Aye, but would any man have offered it in Venice, as you say?
BOBADILL
Tut, I assure you, no: you shall have there your Nobilis, your Gentilezza, come in bravely upon your reverse, stand you close, stand you firm, stand you fair, save your retricato with his left leg, come to the assalto with the right, thrust with brave steel, defy your base wood! But wherefore do I awake this remembrance? I was fascinated, by Jupiter, fascinated: but I will be unwitched, and revenged, by law.
MATTHEW
Do you hear? Is't not best to get a warrant, and have him arrested, and brought before Justice Clement?
BOBADILL
It were not amiss: would we had it.
[Enter] BRAINWORM [disguised as Justice Clement's man Formal]MATTHEW
Why, here comes his man, let's speak to him.
BOBADILL
Agreed, do you speak.
MATTHEW
Save you, sir.
BRAINWORM
With all my heart, sir.
MATTHEW
Sir, there is one Downright hath abused this gentleman, and myself, and we determine to make our amends by law; now, if you would do us the favour to procure a warrant, to bring him afore your master, you shall be well considered, I assure you, sir.
BRAINWORM
Sir, you know my service is my living: such favours as these, gotten of my master, is his only preferment; and therefore you must consider me, as I may make benefit of my place.
MATTHEW
How is that, sir?
BRAINWORM
Faith, sir, the thing is extraordinary, and the gentleman may be of great accompt; yet, be what he will, if you will lay me down a brace of angels in my hand, you shall have it, otherwise not.
MATTHEW
How shall we do, Captain? He asks a brace of angels, you have no money?
BOBADILL
Not a cross, by fortune.
MATTHEW
Nor I, as I am a gentleman, but two pence, left of my two shillings in the morning for wine and radish: let's find him some pawn.
BOBADILL
Pawn? We have none to the value of his demand.
MATTHEW
Oh, yes. I'll pawn this jewel in my ear, and you may pawn your silk stockings, and pull up your boots, they will ne'er be missed; it must be done now.
BOBADILL
Well, an' there be no remedy; I'll step aside, and pull 'em off.
MATTHEW
Do you hear, sir? We have no store of money at this time, but you shall have good pawns: look you, sir, this jewel, and that gentleman's silk stockings, because we would have it dispatched ere we went to our chambers.
BRAINWORM
I am content, sir: I will get you the warrant presently; what's his name, say you? Downright?
MATTHEW
Aye, aye, George Downright.
BRAINWORM
What manner of man is he?
MATTHEW
A tall big man, sir; he goes in a cloak, most commonly, of silk russet, laid about with russet lace.
BRAINWORM
'Tis very good, sir.
MATTHEW
Here sir, here's my jewel.
BOBADILL
And here are stockings.
BRAINWORM
Well, gentlemen, I'll procure you this warrant presently, but who will you have to serve it?
MATTHEW
That's true, Captain; that must be considered.
BOBADILL
Body o' me, I know not! 'Tis service of danger!
BRAINWORM
Why, you were best get one o' the varlets o' the City, a sergeant. I'll appoint you one, if you please.
MATTHEW
Will you, sir? Why, we can wish no better.
BOBADILL
We'll leave it to you, sir.
[Exeunt BOBADILL and MATTHEW]BRAINWORM
This is rare! Now will I go pawn this cloak of the Justice's man's at the brokers for a varlet's suit, and be the varlet myself; and get either more pawns, or more money of Downright, for the arrest.
[Exit]
| Every Man In His Humour | |