University of Virginia Library

SCENE I.

The English Camp in France.
Enter Fluellen and Gower.
Gower.

Nay, that's right; but why wear you your leek
to-day? St. David's day is past.

Flu.

There is occasions and causes why and wherefore
in all things; I will tell you as a friend, Captain
Gower; the rascally, scauld, beggarly, lowsie, pragging
knave Pistol, which you and yourself and all the
world know to be no petter than a fellow (look you
now) of no merits; he is come to me and prings me
pread and salt, yesterday, look you, and bid me eat
my leek; it was in a place where I could breed no
contentions with him; but I will be so pold as to wear
it in my cap 'till I see him once again, and then I will
tell him a little piece of my desires.

Enter Pistol.
Gow.

Why here he comes, swelling like a turky-cock.

Flu.

'Tis no matter for his swelling, nor his turky-cocks.
God plesse you aunchient Pistol: you scurvy
lowsie knave, God plesse you.

Pist.
Ha! art thou bedlam? dost thou thirst, base Trojan,
To have me fold up Parcas' fatal web?
Hence, I am qualmish at the smell of leek.

Flu.

I peseech you heartily, scurvy lowsie knave, at
my desires and my requests and my petitions, to eat,

look you, this leek, because, look you, you do not
love it, and your affections and your appetites and your
digestions does not agree with it; I would desire you
to eat it.

Pist.
Not for Cadwallader and his goats.

Flu.
There is one goat for you,
[Strikes him.
Will you be so good, scald knave, as eat it?

Pist.
Base Trojan thou shalt die.

Flu.

You say very true, scald knave, when God's
will is: I will desire you to live the mean time and eat
your victuals; come, there is sawce for it— [Strikes

him]
You call'd me yesterday Mountain-Squire, but
I will make you to-day a Squire of low degree. I
pray you fall to; if you can mock a leek, you can
eat a leek.

Gow.

Enough, Captain, you have astonish'd him.

Flu.

I say I will make him eat some part of my leek,
or I will peat his pate four days and four nights. Pite,
I pray you, it is good for your green wound and your
ploody coxcomb.

Pist.

Must I bite?

Flu.

Yes out of doubt and out of questions too, and
ambiguities.

Pist.

By this leek I will most horribly revenge; I eat
and swear—

Flu.

Eat I pray you; will you have some more
sawce to your leek? there is not enough leek to swear
by.

Pist.

Quiet thy cudgel, thou dost see I eat.

Flu.

Much good do you, scald knave, heartily.
Nay, pray you throw none away, the skin is good for
your proken coxcomb; when you take occasion to see
leeks hereafter I pray you mock at 'em, that's all.

Pist.

Good.

Flu.

Ay, leeks is good; hold you, there is a groat
to heal your pate.

Pist.

Me a groat?

Flu.

Yes verily and in truth you shall take it, or I
have another leek in my pocket which you shall eat.

Pist.

I take thy groat in earnest of revenge.

Flu.

If I owe you any thing I will pay you in cudgels,
you shall be a woodmonger, and buy nothing of
me but cudgels; God pe wi' you and keep you, and
heal your pate.

[Exit.
Pist.

All hell shall stir for this.

Gow.

Go, go, you are a counterfeit cowardly knave:
will you mock at an ancient tradition, began upon an
honourable respect, and worn as a memorable trophy of
predeceased valour, and dare not avouch in your deeds
any of your words? I have seen you gleeking and galling
at this gentleman twice on thrice. You thought,
because he could not speak English in the native garb,
he could not therefore handle an English cudgel; you
find it otherwise, and henceforth let a Welsh correction
teach you a good English condition: fare you
well.

[Exeunt.