University of Virginia Library

The fifth Scœne.

To them Franke, Changelove, Iames, Sam, and a little after them a wench with a payle of water.
Change.

Wher's Mr. Stitchwell? Fie, give out man,
and steale away.

Stit.

Oh gentlemen my head, my head; oh gentlemen.

Frank.

Me thinks your forehead's swolne sir.

Wife.

Truly no sir. There's no more then what hath
beene ever since I was his wife; fifteene yeeres and upwards,
a long time of barennesse.

Wench.

What the Divell make all these gentlemen in
my Dames wash-house? Get yee up to your chambers
with a vengeance.

Powres the water into the tub.
Frank.

I wonder where my friend is.

Geo.

Hold, hold; I am drown'd.

Fran.

George, what made you there?

Wench.

Mischiefe on you sir: you have spoild mee a
paile of conduit water cost mee many a weary step the

fetching; beside the falls my sweet-heart Slip gave me.

Stitch.

Alas good gentleman; he hid himselfe from my
Wife, and see what's hapned.

Geo.
Hell take your wife and you. Accursed women,
That in your curse made Man so.

Fran.
Fye George, scold presently after your cucking.

Sam.
Diogenes in dolio.

Chang.
And lamentation.

Fra.

Come forth George: now the Comedie is ended,
away with the disguise.

Geor.
Women or divells,
Made faire to be destructions instrument.

Fran.
You seeme to compassionat the mischance:

Stit.
Good heart; but that he cannot endure a woman,
She should kisse him for amends.

Wife.

I thinke it would grieve any woman. I came hither
for somthing else then to be rail'd at.

Stit.

Let's vexe him no more Gentlemen. Come wife,
Ile goe sleepe a little.

Exeunt.
Chan.

There will be a safe opportunitie for me. I love
this Cuckold-making.

Geo.
Franke, though your selfe intend a reformation,
You might forbeare me: this was your owne plot.

Fran.
Why mine? I ne're had resolution yet
So stay'd, but I could alter it for pleasure:
Nor can I hate or envy it in others.

I am sorry George you should drinke water after your
sweet-meats.

To them Tapster.
Geo.
Doe not abuse me lest I thinke revenge:
I am almost tempted to attempt it.

Tapst.
The Gentlewoman hath withdrawne her selfe.

Iam.
What Gentlewoman?

Tapst.

Shee in the sattin gowne. You know my meaning
sir, shee's as right—

Iam.

Thanks honest Robin. Here's for thee.

Tapst.

I must thanke you sir.

Iam.

I'le take the first opportunity.

Tapst.

The gentlewoman is retir'd sir.

Jam.

What gentlewoman?

Tapst.

You know my meaning. Shee's as right—

Sam.

Poxe on your Pandarising.

Tapst.

How now sir? I wonder what quantity of maiden
modesty went to your making up. Few gentlemen of
your complexion would have beene angry with an honest
Tapster for such intelligence.

Sam.
My Sister turn'd a common prostitute?
I must discover it.

Tapst.

the getlewoman's gone into another chamber
Sir.

Fran.

What gentlewoman?

Tapst.

Shee in the sattin gowne. There's a bed: you
know my meaning. Shee's as right—

Fran.

You are a rogue sirrah.

kicks him.
Tapst.

Good sir, what meane you?

Fran.

Mutter that thought agen: I'le cut thy tongue out.

Tap.

And kill anon, anon sir. But cold rewards. Had
none any better; Pandars would never purchase.

Exit.
Geo.

I'le take the Tapsters word, and trye.

Fran.

Come gentlemen, let's up agen. By this time George
your sorrow's drye.

Exeunt.