University of Virginia Library

CINEMA

Revolting Swamp Animals

By DAVE RITCHIE

Wondering why this picture
was made is much more fun
than watching it. Since 1950,
humanity-on-the-run has had
to repel attacks of bees, birds,
rats, bats, octopi, fish, and
various combinations thereof,
usually winning out by some
ridiculous miracle.

Now, with "Frogs", the
amphibians are moving in, and
what once scared audiences
under the seats now draws
little save yawns or laughter. In
short, the man-vs.- nature
idiocy is losing its appeal, even
among the urchins and
dull-witted hicks whose steady
attendance helped make them
a financial success. So why is
Hollywood still throwing them
at us?

"Frogs" depicts a revolt of
swamp animals against a rich
landowner who, by liberal use
of pesticides, tries to keep the
nasty critters' numbers in
check. (We've always wondered
how dead ecology freaks were
reincarnated, and now we're
sure.)

Leading the attack are the
frogs, which faintly resemble
William Jennings Bryan and
photograph almost as badly.
Evidently graduates of a
backwoods high school, the
frogs have a small vocabulary
and terrible diction. Still, that's
a blessing of sorts: if they
spoke decent English, they
might get lines like "Do you
find it weird for a middle-aged
lady to chase butterflies?"

In its disrespect for every
kind of natural law, "Frogs" is
hilarious. When you've stopped
giggling at the sight of desert
scorpions in a mangrove
swamp, you can try to figure
out how lizards crawl happily
around, completely unharmed,
in a greenhouse full of poison
gas. Too bad this film wasn't
about elephants instead—no
telling how many rules of
nature they could have broken.

As we see it, most of this
film's troubles stem from poor
casting. If you must film
another animal revolt, why
pick a species as inoffensive as
the frog? Frankly, we never
met a frog we didn't like. As a
race, they are quiet, dignified,
and by nature no more vicious
than a Methodist bishop. They
no more deserve a criminal
reputation than this nation,
even with its many faults,
deserved Ulysses S. Grant as
President. If you have any
feeling for your fellow animals,
at least try to make up for
"Frog's" image of the swamp
animals of America.

Take a frog to lunch.

(Now at the Barracks Road)