University of Virginia Library

SCEN. III.

Enter Palmer and Grace.
Palm.
Do not I look like a very Reverend Lord,
Grace?

Grace.
And I like a very fine Lady, Mr Palmer?

Palm.
Yes in good faith, Grace; what a rogue is that
Wheadle, to have kept such a Treasure to himself,
Without communicating a little to his Friends?

[Offers to kiss her.
Grace.
Forbear; you'l be out in your Part,
My Lord, when Sir Nich'las comes.

Palm.
The truth is, my Lady, I am better
Prepar'd at this time to act a Lover then
A Relation.

Grace.
That grave dress is very amorous indeed.

Palm.
My Virtues, like those of Plants in the Winter,
Are retir'd; your warm Spring
Wou'd fetch 'em out with a vengeance.

Enter Jenny in haste.
Jenny.
Mr Wheadle and Sr Nich'las are come.

Palm.
Away, away then, Sister; expect your Kew.

Enter Wheadle, and Sir Nicholas, kicking a Tavern boy before him, who has three Bottles of Wine on a Roap hanging at his back.
Gul.
singing.
Then march along, Boys; valiant and strong, Boys.
So, lay down the Bottles here.

Whead.
My Lord, this is the worthy Gentleman
That I told you was
Ambitious to be your Sisters Servant.

Cul.
Hither I am come, my Lord, to drink
Your Sisters Health, without offence, I hope.

Palm.
You are heartily welcome, Sir.

Cul.
Here's a Brimmer then to her, and all the
Fleas about her.

Palm.
Sir, I'le call her self to pledg it.

Cul.
Stay, stay, my Lord, that you may
Be able to tell her you have drunk it.

[Palmer drinks and exit.
Cul.
Wheadle, how do you like this?
[Draws his Sword.
Shall I break the Windows?

Whead.
Hold, hold; you are not in a
House of evil reputation.

Cul.
Well admonish'd, Sir Frederick Frollick.

Enter Palmer and Grace.
Palm.
This is Sir Nich'las, Sister.

Cul.
I, Madam, I am Sir Nich'las, and how do you like me?

Grace.
A pretty Gentleman.
Pray, Sir, are you come a House-warming,
That you bring your Wine with you?

Cul.
If you ask such pert Questions,
Madam, I can stop your mouth.
[Kisses her.
Hither I am come to be drunk,
That you may see me drunk; and
Here's a Health to your Flanel Petticoat.

[Drinks.
Grace.
Mr Wheadle, my service to you; a Health
[She drinks part.
To Sr Nich'las's great Grand-father's Beard-brush.

Cul.
Nay, pledg me; ha—

Grace.
You are not quarrelsom in your drink,
I hope, Sir.

Cul.
No, faith; I am wond'rous loving.

[Huggs her.
Grace.
You are a very bold Lover.

Cul.
Widow, let you and I go upon the ramble
To night.

Grace.
Do you take me for a Night-walker, Sir?

Cul.
Thou shalt be witness how many Constables
Staves I'le break about the Watchmens ears;
How many Bell-men I'le rob of their Verses,
To furnish a little Appartment in the back side
Of my Lodging.

Grace.
I believe y'are an excellent man at
Quarter-staff, Sir.

Cul.
The odds was on my head against any Warrener
In all our Country; but I have left it off this
Two year. My Lord, what say you, Do you think
Your Sister and I shou'd not furnish a Bed-chamber
As well as two soberer people? what think you, my Lord?

Grace.
I, and a Nursery too, I hope, Sir.

Cul.
Well said, Widow, i'faith; I will get upon thy body
A generation of wild Cats, children that shall
Waw, waw, scratch their Nurses, and be drunk
With their sucking-bottles.

Whead.
Brave Sir Nich'las.

Cul.
Wheadle, give me a Brimmer; the Widow
Shall drink it to our Progeny.
Where, where is she gone?

[Exit Grace.
Palm.
You have frighted her hence, Sir.

Cul.
I'le fright her worse, if I find her in a corner.
Ha, Widow, I'le follow you; I'le follow you, ha.

Whead.
The Wine makes the Rogue witty; he
Over-acts the Part I gave him;
Sir Fredrick is not half so mad: I will keep
Him thus elevated till he has married Grace,
And we have the best part of his Estate at our mercy.

Palm.
Most ingenious Wheadle!

Whead.
I was not born to ease nor Acres;
Industry is all my stock of living.

[The women shriek within.
Palm.
Hark, he puts them to the squeek.

Whead.
We must go and take him off; he's as fierce
As a Bandog that has newly broke his chain.

[Exeunt laughing.