University of Virginia Library

Congratulations

I feel that I must express
my congratulations to the
Department of Maintenance
for their brilliant solution to
the problem that has so long
plagued the grounds; that of
canines running rampant on
the Lawn. Fully realizing that
the recent "leash law" would
be difficult to enforce, those
mighty men from maintenance
have devised an admirable
solution; lop down trees on the
lawn.

Magnifique! Already one of
the pesky posts has been
prostrated, and by the end of
the Christmas vacation the
lawn will be shorn of these
nasty canine toilets. An
admirable solution to a
pressing problem at the
University.

Aha! You say, but what of
the remaining lampposts,
columns, pillars, and pedestals
still remaining to attract the
foul interests of sundry
shameless beasts? Well, fear
not! I have confidence in the
ability of those grandiose
grass-clippers. and I am sure
that the Maintenance
Department is working on a
plan to remove these fillby
pillars and eliminate once and
for all the evil pestilence of
uncurbed canines at Mr.
Jefferson's aesthetic
masterpiece.