University of Virginia Library

Since time immemorial. Student
Council has served as a sort of
popularity forum and giver of
cocktail parties. As such, it has
been essentially harmless — indeed,
it has provided, in addition to the
obvious ego-gratification of the
participants, considerable
amusement to the community at
large — witness the elections just
past. But now, sir it is feared that
Student Council has stepped
beyond the hallowed ground of
tradition...

I refer, of course, to the
infamous 'Student Council Shuttle
Service.' The 'Student Council
Shuttle Service' consists — though all
must know by now — of two buses,
one yellow, one white: rejects from
Yellow Transit.

The Student Council sponsors
this service for the avowed purpose
of 'saving soles'; it works like this —
you leave your place of habitation
and, instead of wasting 10 minutes
walking to Cabell Hall, wait 15
minutes for the 'Student Council
Shuttle Service' special; when it
arrives, you board it, pay your
dime, and proceed on a circuitous
tour of Charlottesville and the
grounds (maps of this reputedly
scenic route are printed by the
Student Council Propaganda
Committee and available on any
given wall); on arriving at your
stop, you leave the bus and walk
the half-dozen blocks or so to your
class.

We understand that negotiations
are under way for concession
privileges with a sandwich selling
firm; it is hoped that the University
Guide Service will be able to make
available tour leaders.

All this, you may say is,
granted, ridiculous, but hardly the
grave threat I have made it out to
be. Ah, but Gentlemen, the plot
thickens! Why does the Student
Council perpetrate this travesty
upon us? Why. "The growth of the
University has made a busing
service necessary," quoth the raven.
Again you will say, obviously
ridiculous — but hardly threatening.
But let us analyse the statement
further; Given the assumption that
none but an idiot will wait 15
minutes for a 25 minute ride on an
antique bus rather than spending 10
minutes walking to class — but just
here the devious implication lies!

Student Council is working
under the assumption that the
University has already absorbed all
the available intellect and that
further growth — which Mr.
Shannon assures us is as inevitable
as death and taxes — must draw its
numbers from the ranks of the
cretins. Seen in this light, the
so-called 'Student Council Shuttle
Service' can be taken for what it is
— a dastardly plot to con the
expected inrush of cretins out of
their dimes in order to finance
further Student Council cocktail
parties!

I ask you, is this gentlemanly
behavior?

The 'Student Council Shuttle
Service' special — that monstrous
white elephant — was reported
lumbering along up Rugby Road in
Friday's rainstorm — with two
passengers. Such demand could be
met more cheaply by buying Kevin
Mannix a rickshaw.

C. K. Sullivan
College 3

— Ed.