University of Virginia Library

Another Problem: The 'Pied Piper' Effect

A big brother's problems are not always so
complex, however. For example, the dreaded
"pied piper" effect of going to pick up one little
brother and suddenly being swarmed by the
whole neighborhood for a ride irritates a big
brother who is trying to become intimate with
his child.

Even more aggravating is the problem of transportation for
students without cars. First-year student Meg Vinson is one
such victim of the "no car" syndrome. Several weeks after she
had volunteered in September, she had spent $15 on her little
sister and her friends, lost two bicycle tires (one to broken
glass, while her little sister was riding; the other to an
anonymous safety pin) and had taken two freezing cross-town
walks. Understandably, she resigned; at least until she gets a
car next fall.

Another big sister has confronted nearly all the social and
psychological problems that the program could possibly
present. Her 13-year-old little sister has failed three grades and
is still in the fifth grade.

At first the volunteer felt she was being used because the
child just seemed to want money spent on her, while
remaining emotionless and apathetic.

Her mother appreciates the program for taking her
daughter places and teaching her manners. However, the child
considers the program "O.K." solely because the counselor
takes her places.

"I am learning a lot from my little sister and especially
from her mother, I think the girl is learning from me and my
friends, but I still have to break through the surface apathy,"
the second-year student commented. "I'll never be a big sister
to her. But I enjoy being with her. Maybe in five years, she
will remember that someone white really cared."

Determining whether the relationship accomplishes
anything, in fact, worries many volunteers.

"Each situation is unique. A volunteer cannot expect his
relationship to be like anyone else's," commented Mr. Hughes,
who as an advisor to big brothers understands their frustrations.

"A transformation in the child's attitude toward the
volunteer does not usually represent any radical transformation
in the child.

"Some kids are really hard to work with and one cannot
expect much visible change," he continued. "It takes a lot of
committment."

Third-year men Greg Tilton and Stuart Ball have developed a
different kind of relationship with their little brothers over the
past two years. "It has been a casual relationship," Mr. Tilton
said. "It is not a therapeutic thing, but it gets them out of their
environment once in awhile. Our relationship has been mostly
fun."

Mr. Tilton's little brother is coming out of his extreme
shyness as his confidence builds. Mr. Ball's eight-year-old first
grader is outgrowing both his incoherent, vivid imagination as
well as the abuse he received at home where he was known as
"Stinky."

"My little brother has matured over the years," Mr. Ball
verified, "although not so much by our efforts."

"It's pretty unrealistic to assume an important influence on
a kid of eight and change his habits when I see him three hours
a week," Mr. Tilton admitted.

"We just try to be a big brother in the truest sense of the
word."

(Becoming a big brother is an easy process: simply stop by
Madison Hall Offices on the second floor of the Wesley
Foundation Building, located on Lewis Mountain Road, fill out
a questionnaire, and speak to one of the program's directors; if
possible, state a preference for the program and kind of child
that you desire to work with. Volunteers are needed, but
probably will not be assigned a child until next fall.
–Ed.)