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SCENE I.
Enter Stanmore, Lucia, Charlott.Stan.
'Tis strange we cannot hear of him: Can no body
give an account of him?
Luc.
Nay, I begin to despair: I give him for gone.
Stan.
Not so I hope.
Luc.
There are so many disturbances in this devilish Country!
Wou'd we had never seen it.
Stan.
This is but a cold welcome for you, Madam, after so
troublesome a Voyage.
Char.
A cold Welcome indeed, Sir, without my Cousin Welldon,
He was the best Friend I had in the World.
Stan.
He was a very good Friend of yours indeed, Madam.
Luc.
They have made him away, Murder'd him so this Mony,
I believe, he took a considerable Sum out with him, I know,
that has been his Ruin.
Stan.
That has done him no Injury, to my knowledge: For
this Morning he put into my Custody what you speak of, I
suppose a Thousand Pounds, for the use of this Lady.
I was always oblig'd to him: and he has shown his
Care of me, in placing my little Affairs in such Honourable
Hands.
Stan.
He gave me a particular charge of you, Madam, very
particular, so particular, that you will be surpriz'd when I tell you.
Char.
What, pray Sir.
Stan.
I am engag'd to get you a Husband, I promis'd that before
I saw you; and now I have seen you, you must give me
leave to offer you my self.
Luc.
Nay, Cozen, never be coy upon the matter, to my
Knowledge my Brother always design'd you for this Gentleman.
Stan.
You hear, Madam, he has given me his Interest, and
'tis the Favour! I wou'd have begg'd of him. Lord! you are so
like him—
Char.
That you are oblig'd to say you like me for his Sake.
Stan.
I shou'd be glad to love you for your own.
Char.
If I shou'd consent to the fine things you can say to me,
how wou'd you look at last, to find 'em thrown away upon an
old Acquaintance?
Stan.
An old Acquaintance!
Char.
Lord, how easily are you Men to be impos'd upon! I
am no Cozen newly arriv'd from England, not I; but the very
Welldon you wot of.
Stan.
Welldon!
Char.
Not murdered, nor made away, as my Sister wou'd
have you believe, but am in very good Health, your old friend
in Breeches that was, and now your humble Servant in Petticoats.
Stan.
I'm glad we have you agen.
But what service can you do me in Petticoats, pray?
Char.
Can't you tell what?
Stan.
Not I, by my troth: I have found my Friend, and lost
my Mistress, it seems, which I did not expect from your Petticoats.
Char.
Come, come, you have had a Friend of your Mistress
long enough, 'tis high time now to have a Mistress of your Friend.
Stan.
What do you say?
Char.
I am a Woman, Sir.
A Woman!
Char.
As arrant a Woman as you wou'd have had me.
But now, I assure you.
Stan.
And at my Service?
Char.
If you have any for me in Petticoats.
Stan.
Yes, yes, I shall find you employment.
Char.
You wonder at my proceeding, I believe.
Stan.
'Tis a little extraordinary, indeed.
Char.
I have taken some pains to come into your Favour.
Stan.
You might have had it cheaper a great deal.
Char.
I might have marry'd you in the Person of my English
Cozen, but cou'd not consent to cheat you, ev'n in the thing I
had a mind to.
Stan.
'Twas done as you do every thing.
Char.
I need not tell you, I made that little Plot, and carry'd
it on only for this Opportunity. I was resolv'd to see whether
you lik't me as a Woman, or not: if I had found you indifferent,
I wou'd have indeavour'd, to have been so too: but you say
you like me, and therefore I have ventur'd to discover the truth.
Stan.
Like you! I like you so well, that I'm afraid you
won't think Marriage a proof on't: shall I give you any other?
Char.
No, no, I'm inclin'd to believe you, and that shall
convince me. At more leisure I'le satisfie you how I came to be
in Mans Cloaths, for no ill I assure you, tho' I have happen'd to
play the Rogue in 'em: They have assisted me in marrying my
Sister, and have gone a great way in befriending your Cozen
Jack with the Widow. Can you forgive me for pimping for
your Family?
Enter Jack Stanmore.
Stan.
So, Jack, what News with you?
J. Stan.
I am the forepart of the Widow, you know,
She's coming after with the body of the Family, the young
Squire in her hand, my Son-in-Law that is to be, with the
Help of Mr. Weldon.
Char.
Say you so, Sir?
[Clapping Jack upon the back.
Wid.
So, Mrs. Lucy, I have brought him about agen, I have
Chastis'd him, I have made him as supple as a Glove for your
wearing, to pull on, or throw off, at your pleasure. Will you
ever Rebell again? Will you, Sirrah? But come, come, down on
your Marrow Bones, and ask her forgiveness.
[Daniel Kneels.
Say after me, pray forsooth Wife.
Dan.
Pray, forsooth Wife.
Luc.
Well, well, this is a Day of good Nature, and so I take
you into Favour: But first take the Oath of Allegiance.
[He kisses her Hand, and rises.
If ever you do so agen—
Dan.
Nay Marry if I do, I shall have the worst on't.
Luc.
Here's a Stranger, forsooth, wou'd be glad to be known
to you, a Sister of mine, pray salute her.
[starts at Charlott.
Wid.
Your Sister! Mrs. Lucy! what do you mean? This is
your Brother, Mr. Weldon; do you think I do not know
Mr. Weldon?
Luc.
Have a care what you say: This Gentleman's about
Marrying her: You may spoil all.
VVid.
Fiddle faddle, what! You wou'd put a trick upon me.
Char.
No faith, Widow, the Trick is over, it has taken sufficiently,
and now I will teach you the Trick,
VVid.
How! Cheated, Mr. VVeldon!
Char.
Why, ay, you will always take things by the wrong
Handle, I see you will have me Mr. VVeldon: I grant you, I
was Mr. VVeldon a little while to please you, or so: But Mr. Stanmore
here has perswaded me into a Woman agen.
VVid.
A Woman! Pray let me speak with you.
[drawing her aside.
You are not in earnest, I hope? A Woman!
Char.
Really a Woman.
VVid.
Gads my Life! I could not be cheated in every thing:
I know a Man from a Woman at these Years, or the Devil's
in't.
You wou'd have it so.
Wid.
And did not I give you a Thousand Pounds this
Morning?
Char.
Yes indeed, 'twas more than I deserv'd: But you had
your Penniworth for your Penny, I suppose:
You seem'd to be pleas'd with your Bargain.
Wid.
A rare Bargain I have made on't, truly. I have laid
out my Money to fine purpose upon a Woman.
Char.
You wou'd have a Husband, and I provided for you as
well as I cou'd.
Wid.
Yes, yes, you have provided for me.
Char.
And you have paid me very well for't, I thank you.
Wid.
'Tis very well; I may be with Child too, for ought I
know, and may go look for the Father.
Char.
Nay, if you think so, 'tis time to look about you indeed.
Ev'n make up the matter as well as you can, I advise you as a
Friend, and let us live Neighbourly and Lovingly together.
Wid.
I have nothing else for it, that I know now.
Char.
For my part, Mrs. Lackit, your Thousand Pounds will
Engage me not to laugh at you. Then my Sister is Married to
your Son, he is to have half your Estate, I know; and indeed
they may live upon it, very comfortably to themselves, and
very creditably to you.
Wid.
Nay, I can blame no body but my self.
Char.
You have enough for a Husband still,
And that you may bestow upon honest Jack Stanmore.
Wid.
Is he the Man then?
Char.
He is the Man you are oblig'd to.
J. Stan.
Yes, Faith, Widow, I am the Man: I have done
fairly by you, you find, you know what you have to trust to
before hand.
VVid.
Well, well, I see you will have me, ev'n Marry me,
and make an end of the business.
Stan.
Why, that's well said, now we are all agreed, and all
provided for.
[A Servant Enters to Stanmore.
Serv.
Sir, Mr. Blandford desires you to come to him, and
bring as many of your Friends as you can with you.
I come to him. You'l all go along with me.
Come, young Gentleman, Marriage is the fashion, you see,
you must like it now.
Dan.
If I don't, how shall I help my self?
Luc.
Nay, you may hang your self in the Noose, if you please,
But you'll never get out on't with strugling.
Dan.
Come then, let's ev'n jogg on in the old Road.
Cuckold, or worse, I must be now contented:
I'm not the first has marry'd, and repented.
[Exeunt.
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