University of Virginia Library

Actus quinta.

Scena prima.

Enter Fortunio alone
I Knowe Virginia loues Fedele best,
Medusa likewise may be sent to flowte:
My selfe her fauour neuer yet possest,
If none of these, yet all may make me doubte.
How seruice should with bright triumphing face,
Disperse the cloudes, that put my ioyes to chace.
Yet if Fedele be not lik'te alone,
Or if Medusa of true promise be:
Or faire Virginia will be mou'de by mone.
If not all these, yet one may pleasure me.
Therefore, to giue the watch woord I'le beginne,
Whistle.
Good lucke, the doore opens, I'le enter in.

Exit.
Enter Atilia.
Attilia.
Take heede Attilia, was not that Fortunio thou did'ste see?
T'is now midnight, so late abroade i'th streete what maketh he?
I see Pedante is not heer, I muse he meetes me not,
I litle thought he could so soone his promise haue forgot.
If he be maister of his woord, and loue me as his life,
The time is come to shewe the same, and take me for his wife.

Scena secunda.

Enter Pedante and Crack-stone with the Beggers weede.
Come on Sir apace, what makes you so slacke?
Presently put me this Robe on your backe.
Now get you vp along the streete, and be not afrayde,
There shall you meete Victoria, in the apparell of her mayde.
Thinking you thus disguised, to be Fortunio,
Uery ready you shall finde her with you to go.
When you haue her, hold fast, for she will not resist,
Woe her, wed her, bedde her, and vse her as you list.
Either now or neuer, your desire you shall haue,
Or be reuenged on the entertainement that out of her window to you she gaue.

Crack-st.
See the force of loue, how it is able for a neede,
To shrowde a braue minde in a base kinde of weede.
Maister Pediculus, or Pedantonie, I am not very prospect in your name,
If this geare fall out, I shall be bound while I liue, to thanke you for the same.

Pedante.
I would not be he that should so couragious a Captaine, and valiant Gentleman deceiue.
Therefore trie me, & trust me, for this time I purpose to take my leaue

Exit.
Crack-st.
Farewell little Pastrie,
If I may meete with Mistresse Victoriarie heer.
Thinking that Fortunio in this place, to her will appeare.
Either I will make her incant the former words that she spake,
When she defied me, & denied that she wild me to kil Fedele for her sake.
Or I will backe beate her, & belly beate her too too pitifully,
You know loue is a fire, and they say fire and water hath no mercy.
But first I will speake her faire, because to be plaine,
Commonly faire fooles make wordes and perswasions to be faine.

Attilia.
Alas how long in the streete shall I for my Pedante stay?
He promised to meete me heer, and steale me quite away.
Some body in the streete I heare, I trust the same is hee,
And so I doe perswade me, by the beggers weede I see.

Crack-st
I'le beleeue Pediculus againe another day,
For yonder in Alice tittle tattles parrell the Mistresse dooth stay,
O yt I had some of Pediculus Schoole-butter to make me a lip salue,
Or could but wet my tonge in his inkhorne, for women will herken when we speake braue.
O thou that carriest a ball of wilde fire in thine eye, to burne vp my heart,
What shall I say more, to set out my smarte.
The time will not suffer to shew my prosperitie,
Therefore I committe you to the Gods for lacke of breuitie.

Scena tertia.

Enter Sbirri the Captaine of the watche, with some Soldiers, and with him Mistresse Victoria.
Attilia.
See how Pedante counterfeites Crack-stone in talke,
Thereby we shall escape, and through the watch in safetie walke.

Victoria.
Captaine Sbirri, this night my maide Attilia ran away,
Her I beseeche you, if she be not past the watch, to stay.
Some thing I doubt that she hath stolne, and carried to her mates,
Therefore I pray beset the streetes, and all the citie gates.

Sbirri.
Mistresse Victoria I will, but some bodie I see,

Victoria
Steppe to them bothe and take them streight,
for sure the same is shee.

Crack-st.
Come mine own Parragon,
I know thou hast tarried for me all this while,
Therefore follow me streight,
least the lickorish Souldiers meete vs, and me beguile.

Sbirri.
Softe not to fast,
but stay I charge you in the Princes name,

Crack-st.
God saue the Princes grace,
and put his enemies to shame.
Wee are the Kings friendes,
I would you should well knowe,
Therefore trouble vs no farther, but let vs goe.
The kings head is occupied with matters of great importunitie,
I know he is not conswapted,
at this time to speake with me.
We are peace-able people,
we haue no weapons heere,
We are neither drunke nor sober,
nor make any steere.
Get you to your places, keepe the watch as you should,
And wee'le to our lodging you may be bould.

Sbirri.
Nay Sir, we will know your name,
and eke the place where you haue beene,
Whether you goe, night-walkers heer are very seldom seene.

Crack-st
Then I pray you, what make you abroade so late?
T'is longing to your office to keepe the gate.
As for our names, I know of no such commencement you haue,
Why you should be so pearchant the same to craue.

Attilia.
We haue bin foorth at supper Sir, i'the towne with a good friend,
And now we are returning home, nigh at our yournies end.

Victoria.
What Minion, are you there indeede?

Attilia.
My Mistresse, out alas,
Beholde Pedante we are tane, how shall we doe to passe?

Crack-st,
I hold fourty pound I am Unckled, I would Pediculus were heer,
I would meete with the scalde Squitterbe-booke for this geare.

Sbirri.
Is this your mayde?

Crack-st.
It is.

Sbirri.
Lay hold on her with speede,
Let vs see what Uagabonde is hid within this weede.
Crack-stone? Whowe?

Crack-st.
And whowe too then, did you neuer see man before?
I am not taken in deuowtrie, therefore wonder no more.

Attilia.
A halter come to him, is it hee?

Sbirri.
Sorrie I am good Captaine, you in such a case to see.
Heer you are taken with this mayde, which is like to be tachte
Of fellonie, and accessarie you with her are cachte.

Crack-st.
I steale nothing from women but their honestie:
Which is as good, as he that robbes the Printer of a Bible, because he would studie Diuinitie.

Scena quarta.

Enter Fortunio running halfe vnreadie, after him Ottauiano the father to mistresse Virginia, and Medusa with a spitte in her hande, and to them Fedele and Pedante, with weapons in their handes.
Ottaui.
Stoppe, stoppe.

Sbirri.
What meaneth this? come bende your weapons at them all,
Whome shall we stoppe? and what's the cause that makes you thus to call?

Fedele and Pedante speake out at a windowe within.
Fedele.
Pedante, take thy sworde, arise let's goe into the streete,
Some wondrous broyle I doubt there is,

Pedante.
I am so fast wrapt in the vpper sheete.
That I can not get out, I pray you make not such haste,
Till you thinke that the hottest of the broile be paste.

Fortunio
Stay Captaine, lay no handes on me, a Gentleman I am,
And will not flitte,

Ottaui.
Woe worth the time that to my house he came.

Sbirri.
Ottauiano, what's the cause of your lamenting crye?
Let's knowe, hath Sir Fortunio done you any iniurie?

Enter Fedele and Pedante with weapons.
Fedele.
Come quickely man, let's see this Pageant ere it take an ende,

Pedante.
He that breaks me of my sleepe, is none of my freende,

Virginia.
Ah wretche that am I alas, and halfe vndone,

Pedante.
What strange kinde of broyle is this that is begonne?

Ottaui.
Is it Fortunio in deede? This is thy treacherie, Medusa.

Medusa.
Mine, alas good Sir, you doe me iniurie,
I graunt that after I had brought my young mistresse to bed,
Feeling the sleepe shut vp mine eyes, and drouping with my head,
I laide me downe to take my rest, and so with haste forgot,
To locke the doores about the house, and how it comes God wot,
I can not tell, but when I fet a nap and wooke againe,
I heard a bustling in the darke, and then did I complaine.
And cryed aloude to you for helpe, whereat immediatly,
This Gentleman withdrewe him selfe, and foorth began to flye.

Pedante.
Master.

Fedele.
What sayst thou?

Pedante.
Your cake is dowe,

Fedele.
It killes me to thinke on it: the greater my woe.

Crack-st
This is lucke nidget with all my heart,
I am glad, that I haue some body to take my part.
But oh that my handes were at liberalitie now to strike,
I would set my Gramariner a lesson to pike.

Ottaui.
Ah Sir Fortunio, vse you thus the man that lou'de you best,
Take him, this villainie shall not be turned to a iest.

Sbirri.
Quiet your selfe Ottauiano, sith it is so past,
The brute will not be called backe so long as life dooth last.
His punishment makes not your daughter as she was before,
But giue her vnto him to wife, and talke of it no more.
His liuing is as good as yours, make vp the match with speede,

Ottaui.
Neede hath no lawe, I am content, if they be bothe agreede.

Virginia.
Alas I neuer knew the man, he neuer toucht me yet,
I loue Fedele, and he alone is for Virginia fit?

Fedele.
I'le take no wife at second hande, thankes for your curtesie,
Let him that hath possest your honor, weare the same for me.

Pedante.
In euery Tennis Court in the world, false play it is found,
To take vp the Ball at the second rebound.

Fortunio.
Virginia, if that you can be content,
To like of him that loues you in his heart:
Giue me your hand, and if your minde be bent,
To marrie me, I neuer meane to parte.
My life, and liuing, more you can not craue,
Remaineth yours, doe now but aske and haue.

Virginia.
I thanke you Sir, in that it pleaseth you to vse me so,
My promise was nigh graunted to Fedele long ago.

Fortunio.
But he hath now forsaken you.

Fedele.
Virginia, you are free,
Assure your selfe, your marriage neuer shall be staide by me.

Virginia.
Then if you loue I will be yours.

Fortunio.
Shall I haue your good will?

Ottaui.
You haue.

Fortunio.
I loue you then, and meane to loue you still.

Medusa.
Now man and wife, Ottauiano hearken vnto me,
Although this Gallant in Virginiaes chamber you did see.
Yet is her honour as it was, vnspotted by the same,
And kept by me, which euer had regarde vnto her name.
Fortunio made his mone and said, he lou'de Virginia best,
Virginia for Fedeles sake could neuer take her rest.
His minde was on Victoria, Virginia light esteemde,
Now that Virginiaes life and libertie might be redeemde.
I brought Fortunio to the house when she was fast a sleepe,
And close this night into her chamber both of vs did creepe.
I made him to vnbrace him selfe, and presently did call
For you to come, as though some greater matter did befall.
You came, he fled, and now is taken in Fedeles sight,
As though Virginia had dishonoured beene by him this night.
Which is not so, but this was done to bleare the gazers eyes,
To pleasure him, and saue her life, this thing did I deuise.

Pedante.
O mischieuous head, maister did you heare this geare,
Such a girle is worth golde in a deare yeere.

Crack-st.
I Ipse tipse, tittle, tittle este amen,
Such a wench is not be found in the worldagaine.
I haue heard it often, and nowe I do proue,
That women are suttle wormes for the conuariance of loue.

Ottaui.
If this be true I ioy?

Fortunio.
Els take my head,
I came not nigh Virginia, although she were in bed.

Fedele.
Fortunio you are quitte with me, for when we lay in scowte,
To watch by faire Victoriaes house, who passed in and out.
It was my man disguisde, that issued forth out of the same,
That for the nonce by me was set, to call Victoria by her name.
He went vnto Attilia, with counterfeited loue,
That by his meanes, from fayre Victoria I might you remoue.
You seeing him, and hearing when he came foorth, what he said,
Thought he had bene with her, when he had bene but with the maide.
Whereat you stormde, and left the chace of her that lou'de you deere,
Which is no griefe at all to me, that hopes to winne her heere.
Therefore Victoria now forget Fortunio which is loste,
And loue Fedele, who for you, yet neuer spared coste.
Let fall thy wrath, for giue me too, that meanes to be thine owne,
T'is seldome seen but warres haue end, whē foes are ouerthrown.

Victoria.
Sith you haue so preuented me, and perfect loue proteste,
I will put vp the iniurie, and yours for euer rest.

Crack-st,
My nose is ioynted, I may goe shoe the Gosling now if I will,
He that eats with ye deuil without a long spoone, his fare wil be ill.
What spirits of the Buttry were abroad this night,
I haue beene so hard harted to mine enemies,
that I thinke all the Gods of loue ought me a spite.
I graunt I am none of these fine Criminadoes,
that can tumble in a Gentlewomās lap, and rumble in her eare,
But without vauntage be it spoken,
I am as good as the best at the push of a speare.
I can cut and slash to make mine enemies to bleede.
And pricke it proudly I tell you, when I am surmounted vpon my steede.

Sbirri.
Mistresse Victoria, now I see this onely rests to knowe,
What shall be done vnto your mayde, or shall we let her goe?

Victoria.
Sith with Crack-stone this night, you tooke my maide so shorte,
To prison with her if you please, to cut off her resorte.

Attilia.
Good mistresse beare with me, I tooke no hurt by him at all,
But meane to tell you iustly how the matter did befall.
The Schoolemaister that on Fedele euer dooth attende,
Promi'ste to marrie me this night, my seruile life to ende.
Upon whose woord, from you I fled, and staide for him in the streete
Where I against my will, with this Crack-stone did meete.

Crack-st
Bowle to thy biase, master Pediculus, I pray you take your wife,
You and I for this matter will not stande at strife.
Are you bememberde what you said when you constulted with me,
To come hether in this parrell secretly.

Pedante.
What maister Crack-stone, and mistresse Attilia, you are welcome to the buttes,

Crack-st
Welcome with a Knaues name, I beshrumpe your guttes.

Pedante.
Why so Sir?

Crack-st.
Didst not thou tell me, that in this parrell mistresse Victoria I should should see.
This night in the streete to be compensed of my iniurie,

Pedante.
So you may if you please, take your eyes in your hande,
Turne about Sir, and see where Victoria doth stande.
And as for Attilia, as you brew, so bake,
I am not so base minded your leauings to take.

Attilia.
Why maister Pedante, will you serue me so?

Pedante.
I must I perceiue whither I will or no.

Crack-st.
Drawe Uillaine.

Sbirri.
Soft there Crack-stone, be not too rash to proffer fight,
You and this mayde together in the darke were tane this night.
The matter is suspitious, sith he forsaketh her,
To take her to your wife no time you should deferre.
We cannot force her vpon him, sith she was tane with you.
And howsoeuer you cloke it, none your meeting can allowe.

Crack-st
Well sith there is no remorce of conscience to be founde,
How saist thou Allice tittle tattle, art thou content by loue to be bounde?
For euer and euer to be my wyfe.
To disobey me and dishonour me, all the daies of thy life?

Attilia.
I am.

Crack-st.
Then giue me thy hand, thou shalt neither take any right, nor doe any wrong,
We will haue a litter of young Captaines ere it be long.

Ottaui.
Fedele, sith that by Medusaes subtile sleight you haue,
Obtainde Victoria, whome before all creatures you did craue.
Please her with recompence, & then your loue shall most appeare.

Fedele.
Looke what she did, was done for Sir Fortunio, not for mee,
Yet sith she chaunste to pleasure me, she shall receiue a fee.
I giue to her my Schoole-maister.

Pedante.
Like vnto like, and learning to skill,
I pray thee speake, wilt thou haue me?

Medusa.
Yea Sir, if you will.

Pedante.
I doe not thinke that thou canst be in loue with my lookes,
And all the riches I haue consistes in my bookes.
Therefore I pray thee to tell me Medusa,
Canst thou be contented with Lillie, Linaker, and Cornucopia?

Medusa.
I will be contented, whatsoeuer it be,
If I may finde you contented with me.

Pedante.
Giue me thy hand, I'le set vp a great Grammer schoole by & by,
We shall thriue well ynough, it will tumble in roundly.
I'le teach boyes the Latin tongue, to write and to reade,
And thou little wenches, their needle and thred.
Wee'le be as merry as Crickets, and loue out of measure,
Oh loue I can tell you is an excellent treasure.
But now good maister, this request by the way,
I beseech you let vs all be married vpon one day.
And let him be made maister of the Cock-pit in Lent,
That hath the first childe ere the yeere be spent.

The fift Act being done, let the Consort sound a cheerefull Galliard, and euery one taking handes together, departe singing.