The Life and Notable Adventures of that Renown'd Knight, Don Quixote De la Mancha Merrily Translated into Hudibrastick Verse. By Edward Ward |
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| XIV. | CANTO XIV. |
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 | The Life and Notable Adventures of that Renown'd Knight, Don Quixote De la Mancha |  |
CANTO XIV.
How fam'd Don Quixote de la Mancha,
Chose for his 'Squire poor Sancho Panca:
How they stole out by Night together,
And Rode away they knew not whither.
Chose for his 'Squire poor Sancho Panca:
How they stole out by Night together,
And Rode away they knew not whither.
Full Fifteen Days our Doubty Knight
Remain'd at Home in Peace and Quiet,
Shewing for's loss of Books no Sadness,
Nor any freakish Signs of Madness;
But in his Actions seem'd to be
A Man of decent Gravity,
As if he'ad re-assumed his Wits,
And laid aside his rambling Fits;
All which was but a meer Disguise,
To seem less Frolick and more Wise,
A subtle force he put on Nature,
To carr' on his Designs the better.
Thus as all sober Men have Passions,
So Lunaticks have their Cessations,
And both their Shams and Politicks
T' accomplish their intended Freaks;
For the sly Seignior during this
His Residence at Home in Peace,
Was fully bent to still pursue
Those Honours which he thought his due;
But recollecting that a Knight
Was not Equipp'd or fitted Right,
Till furnish'd with a Trusty 'Squire,
According to his Heart's Desire,
And having fix'd his Eyes upon
A lusty Neighb'ring Country Clown,
Nam'd Sancho Panca, bred to Plow,
Sow, Harrow, Reap, and thrash the Mow,
A downright Honest lab'ring Fellow,
His Purse but low, and Brains but Shallow,
Plagu'd with a Wife and Bearns good store,
Whose craving Mouths still kept him poor;
And this was he the Knight pick'd out
From all the Bumkins thereabout,
To win by private Applications,
Fair Words and kind Solicitations,
And all his soothing fine Preambles
T'attend him in his fighting Rambles,
Telling the poor unthinking Lout,
That in a little time no doubt,
But they should Conquer wealthy Isles,
And Castles full of Golden Spoils,
O'er which he surely should be made
Chief Governor, or Great Alcay'd,
And that he then might hope to see
A Time of such Prosperity,
That might not only be Enjoy'd
By him, but Wife and Bearns beside.
Remain'd at Home in Peace and Quiet,
Shewing for's loss of Books no Sadness,
Nor any freakish Signs of Madness;
257
A Man of decent Gravity,
As if he'ad re-assumed his Wits,
And laid aside his rambling Fits;
All which was but a meer Disguise,
To seem less Frolick and more Wise,
A subtle force he put on Nature,
To carr' on his Designs the better.
Thus as all sober Men have Passions,
So Lunaticks have their Cessations,
And both their Shams and Politicks
T' accomplish their intended Freaks;
For the sly Seignior during this
His Residence at Home in Peace,
Was fully bent to still pursue
Those Honours which he thought his due;
But recollecting that a Knight
Was not Equipp'd or fitted Right,
Till furnish'd with a Trusty 'Squire,
According to his Heart's Desire,
258
A lusty Neighb'ring Country Clown,
Nam'd Sancho Panca, bred to Plow,
Sow, Harrow, Reap, and thrash the Mow,
A downright Honest lab'ring Fellow,
His Purse but low, and Brains but Shallow,
Plagu'd with a Wife and Bearns good store,
Whose craving Mouths still kept him poor;
And this was he the Knight pick'd out
From all the Bumkins thereabout,
To win by private Applications,
Fair Words and kind Solicitations,
And all his soothing fine Preambles
T'attend him in his fighting Rambles,
Telling the poor unthinking Lout,
That in a little time no doubt,
But they should Conquer wealthy Isles,
And Castles full of Golden Spoils,
O'er which he surely should be made
Chief Governor, or Great Alcay'd,
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A Time of such Prosperity,
That might not only be Enjoy'd
By him, but Wife and Bearns beside.
This frantick wild alluring Stuff,
With artful Gravity set off,
Was to poor Sancho so bewitching,
Above his Hedging and his Ditching,
That he consented soon to be
The Knight's Esquire in Errantry,
And to renounce the Scythe and Flayl,
Those Arms he understood so well,
For the broad Sword, that he might learn
To Mow down Men, instead of Corn,
And Thrash those Foes he could o'erpow'r,
As he had done his Grain before.
Thus Men are oft decoy'd to quit,
Their scanty Meals for ne'er a bit,
Just as the Mastiff was betray'd,
To drop the Substance for the Shade.
The Knight most highly pleas'd to find,
He'ad got a Sword-Mate to his Mind,
A lusty Looby, who was able
To scuffle stoutly in a Squabble,
And bear in any desp'rate Case
A baisting with a Manly Grace,
Began to think of Ways and Means
To raise that useful Friend the Pence,
Remembring that upon his Knighting,
His Host who had been us'd to fighting,
Enjoin'd him never more to ride
Without his Pockets well supply'd;
Therefore to keep the Vow he'ad made
When dub'd by dint of Trusty Blade,
He now convey'd away by Stealth,
Substantial Lands for Pocket Wealth,
Mortgag'd one part, another sold,
Thus turn'd his Acres into Gold,
That Sancho Panca and himself
Might fight and fool away the Pelf;
But why at Quixote should we wonder,
Since other Madmen daily squander
Estates away, that they may be
Much more Ridiculous than he.
With artful Gravity set off,
Was to poor Sancho so bewitching,
Above his Hedging and his Ditching,
That he consented soon to be
The Knight's Esquire in Errantry,
And to renounce the Scythe and Flayl,
Those Arms he understood so well,
For the broad Sword, that he might learn
To Mow down Men, instead of Corn,
And Thrash those Foes he could o'erpow'r,
As he had done his Grain before.
Thus Men are oft decoy'd to quit,
Their scanty Meals for ne'er a bit,
Just as the Mastiff was betray'd,
To drop the Substance for the Shade.
260
He'ad got a Sword-Mate to his Mind,
A lusty Looby, who was able
To scuffle stoutly in a Squabble,
And bear in any desp'rate Case
A baisting with a Manly Grace,
Began to think of Ways and Means
To raise that useful Friend the Pence,
Remembring that upon his Knighting,
His Host who had been us'd to fighting,
Enjoin'd him never more to ride
Without his Pockets well supply'd;
Therefore to keep the Vow he'ad made
When dub'd by dint of Trusty Blade,
He now convey'd away by Stealth,
Substantial Lands for Pocket Wealth,
Mortgag'd one part, another sold,
Thus turn'd his Acres into Gold,
That Sancho Panca and himself
Might fight and fool away the Pelf;
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Since other Madmen daily squander
Estates away, that they may be
Much more Ridiculous than he.
When thus the Knight was flush of Money,
He walks unto his Trusty Crony,
Consults him, and appoints the Day
On which they were to steal away,
Biding him make all due Provision,
For their intended Expedition,
And that he should be sure to take
A good large Wallet at his Back,
Sufficient to contain their Luggage,
And carry off their Bag and Baggage.
He walks unto his Trusty Crony,
Consults him, and appoints the Day
On which they were to steal away,
Biding him make all due Provision,
For their intended Expedition,
And that he should be sure to take
A good large Wallet at his Back,
Sufficient to contain their Luggage,
And carry off their Bag and Baggage.
Poor Sancho who was glad at Heart,
To hear the Knight such News impart,
Reply'd, his Will should be obey'd
In each Commandment he had said:
But hark ye me, Sir Knight, I pray,
There's one thing I have more to say,
I've Corns upon my Feet and Toes,
And cannot Trot on Foot, God knows;
But I have got a sturdy Ass,
Who, tho' not fit to run a Race,
Yet is he Good to an Extream,
And truly sound both Wind and Limb;
Well built before, and strong behind,
A perfect Beauty in his kind;
And as for Weight, his Strength and Force,
Will make an Ass of any Horse;
Besides, I'm sure he'll never tire,
Therefore since I am made your Squire,
I'll freely venture Life and Limb
Upon no other Beast but him.
To hear the Knight such News impart,
Reply'd, his Will should be obey'd
In each Commandment he had said:
But hark ye me, Sir Knight, I pray,
There's one thing I have more to say,
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And cannot Trot on Foot, God knows;
But I have got a sturdy Ass,
Who, tho' not fit to run a Race,
Yet is he Good to an Extream,
And truly sound both Wind and Limb;
Well built before, and strong behind,
A perfect Beauty in his kind;
And as for Weight, his Strength and Force,
Will make an Ass of any Horse;
Besides, I'm sure he'll never tire,
Therefore since I am made your Squire,
I'll freely venture Life and Limb
Upon no other Beast but him.
At this the Knight began to pause,
And mumbl'd many Hums and Haws,
Wracking his busy Brains to find
A Precedent of such a kind,
But could not recollect that e'er
A Knight permitted his Esquire
To mount his Fundamental Twist
On such a dull disgraceful Beast,
Whose pricked Ears he fear'd might be
A Scandal to Knight Errantry:
However, he at length comply'd
That Sancho should his Ass bestride,
Till he could purchase for his 'Squire
A mettl'd Courser that was higher,
Or put him into better plight
By 'nhorsing some Discourteous Knight.
And mumbl'd many Hums and Haws,
Wracking his busy Brains to find
A Precedent of such a kind,
But could not recollect that e'er
A Knight permitted his Esquire
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On such a dull disgraceful Beast,
Whose pricked Ears he fear'd might be
A Scandal to Knight Errantry:
However, he at length comply'd
That Sancho should his Ass bestride,
Till he could purchase for his 'Squire
A mettl'd Courser that was higher,
Or put him into better plight
By 'nhorsing some Discourteous Knight.
Thus having fix'd the Time and Place,
And got their Arms in readiness,
New vamp'd and mended whatsoe'er
Had suffer'd by the Muliteer,
And carefully supply'd their Bags
With Salves, clean Shirts, fine Lint and Rags,
And all things fit and necessary
For Doubty Knight and 'Squire to carry:
According to the Midnight Hour
They had prefix'd not long before,
Both stole from Home when dark and late,
And at the Place appointed met,
Don Quixote Hors'd in Armour Clad,
And Sancho on his prick-ear'd Pad,
With Wallet at his Crupper ty'd,
And Leathern Bottle by his Side,
To ballance which a mighty Weapon
Hung down, whose Scabbord had no Chape on;
So that the threat'ing point where Death
Was seated, hung below the Sheath,
And serv'd him now and then, in case
Of speed, to spur his sluggish Ass:
So have I seen a Highland Clown,
On puny Tit Trot thro' a Town,
With a huge Bag of Oatmeal ty'd
To's Girdle, on his Dexter Side,
And on the Left a Sword, whose Blade
Thro' unstitcht gaping Scaboard made,
Ill favour'd grins to e'ery Eye
That view'd him as he travel'd by.
And got their Arms in readiness,
New vamp'd and mended whatsoe'er
Had suffer'd by the Muliteer,
And carefully supply'd their Bags
With Salves, clean Shirts, fine Lint and Rags,
And all things fit and necessary
For Doubty Knight and 'Squire to carry:
According to the Midnight Hour
They had prefix'd not long before,
264
And at the Place appointed met,
Don Quixote Hors'd in Armour Clad,
And Sancho on his prick-ear'd Pad,
With Wallet at his Crupper ty'd,
And Leathern Bottle by his Side,
To ballance which a mighty Weapon
Hung down, whose Scabbord had no Chape on;
So that the threat'ing point where Death
Was seated, hung below the Sheath,
And serv'd him now and then, in case
Of speed, to spur his sluggish Ass:
So have I seen a Highland Clown,
On puny Tit Trot thro' a Town,
With a huge Bag of Oatmeal ty'd
To's Girdle, on his Dexter Side,
And on the Left a Sword, whose Blade
Thro' unstitcht gaping Scaboard made,
Ill favour'd grins to e'ery Eye
That view'd him as he travel'd by.
265
When thus they had began together,
Their Midnight Ramble, God knows whether,
And from their Homes, with equal Art,
Had made an unsuspected Start,
Both jointly fearing a pursuit,
Each spur'd on his unwilling Brute,
That they might make such speedy way,
And gain such Ground by break of Day,
As to be past all doubt of Danger
From those they'd left at Rack and Manger,
The Knight, tho' stout, b'ing much afraid,
Of the Priest, Barber, Niece and Maid;
And his 'Squire tim'rous of the Clamour
Of crying Brats and scolding Gammar,
Both knowing should they be o'ertaken,
By means of those they had forsaken,
That it must frustrate or postpone
The great Designs they were upon,
And stop their Journey made by Stealth,
Tow'rds endless Honour, Fame and Wealth;
Poor Sancho thinking now of nothing
But dainty Bits and costly Clothing,
And larger Pockets in his Breeches,
As big as Sacks, to hold his Riches,
Expecting soon to be a King,
Or some such mighty pompous thing.
Thus those who enter upon Arms,
Ne'er think of Hardships or of Harms,
But Dream of rising to be Great,
Till Want or Wounds compleat their Fate.
Their Midnight Ramble, God knows whether,
And from their Homes, with equal Art,
Had made an unsuspected Start,
Both jointly fearing a pursuit,
Each spur'd on his unwilling Brute,
That they might make such speedy way,
And gain such Ground by break of Day,
As to be past all doubt of Danger
From those they'd left at Rack and Manger,
The Knight, tho' stout, b'ing much afraid,
Of the Priest, Barber, Niece and Maid;
And his 'Squire tim'rous of the Clamour
Of crying Brats and scolding Gammar,
Both knowing should they be o'ertaken,
By means of those they had forsaken,
That it must frustrate or postpone
The great Designs they were upon,
266
Tow'rds endless Honour, Fame and Wealth;
Poor Sancho thinking now of nothing
But dainty Bits and costly Clothing,
And larger Pockets in his Breeches,
As big as Sacks, to hold his Riches,
Expecting soon to be a King,
Or some such mighty pompous thing.
Thus those who enter upon Arms,
Ne'er think of Hardships or of Harms,
But Dream of rising to be Great,
Till Want or Wounds compleat their Fate.
The Knight and 'Squire alike possest
With vain Conceits of being blest,
By some strange accidental Fortune
As yet conceal'd behind the Curtain,
Jog'd on repleat with mutual Joy,
Altho' beneath a sullen Sky,
Which neither shone with Moon or Stars
To guide the wand'ring Travellers;
But Resolution knows no fear,
And in the dark its Course can steer,
Makes Night as pleasant as the Day,
When hope of Int'rest paves the way.
With vain Conceits of being blest,
By some strange accidental Fortune
As yet conceal'd behind the Curtain,
Jog'd on repleat with mutual Joy,
Altho' beneath a sullen Sky,
Which neither shone with Moon or Stars
To guide the wand'ring Travellers;
267
And in the dark its Course can steer,
Makes Night as pleasant as the Day,
When hope of Int'rest paves the way.
Yet, tho' the Heavens were as Cloudy
As ill-look'd Æthiopian Dowdy,
Poor Rosinant, whose doubtful Sight
Was not exceeding Young or Bright,
Made shift to keep the very Road
Which he before had often trod,
In which his worthy Knight and Master
Had met with such a sore Disaster;
So that by th' time the Morning Goddess
Began to fumble for her Bodice,
And with her charming Eastern Blushes,
To gild the Meadows and the Bushes,
They found themselves upon the Plains
Of Montiel, where the early Swains
Were moving from their Rural Huts,
To Milk their Kine and tend their Goats,
And to Enjoy, exempt from Pride,
Those Blessings unto Kings deny'd.
As thus they beat the Heathy Ground,
Which Eccho'd back their Steps in sound,
Quoth Sancho, ‘What your Knightship said
‘I vow runs strangely in my Head,
‘I hope your Worship won't forget
‘The Island, tho' unconquer'd yet;
‘I question not but I've Discretion
‘To govern any Land or Nation,
‘Altho' as big as all La Mancha;
‘Besides, methinks, Duke Sancho Panca
‘Would sound as nobly in the Ear
‘As any Title one should hear.
As ill-look'd Æthiopian Dowdy,
Poor Rosinant, whose doubtful Sight
Was not exceeding Young or Bright,
Made shift to keep the very Road
Which he before had often trod,
In which his worthy Knight and Master
Had met with such a sore Disaster;
So that by th' time the Morning Goddess
Began to fumble for her Bodice,
And with her charming Eastern Blushes,
To gild the Meadows and the Bushes,
They found themselves upon the Plains
Of Montiel, where the early Swains
Were moving from their Rural Huts,
To Milk their Kine and tend their Goats,
268
Those Blessings unto Kings deny'd.
As thus they beat the Heathy Ground,
Which Eccho'd back their Steps in sound,
Quoth Sancho, ‘What your Knightship said
‘I vow runs strangely in my Head,
‘I hope your Worship won't forget
‘The Island, tho' unconquer'd yet;
‘I question not but I've Discretion
‘To govern any Land or Nation,
‘Altho' as big as all La Mancha;
‘Besides, methinks, Duke Sancho Panca
‘Would sound as nobly in the Ear
‘As any Title one should hear.
Friend Sancho, quoth the doubty Knight,
Ne'er fear but I will do thee right;
'T'as always been and still must be
The Custom in Knight Errantry,
For Knights who fight for Honours sake,
By way of recompence, to make
Their Trusty Squires the Governors
Of Kingdoms, they have won in Wars;
For he who with a Valiant Heart,
In Conquest bears a noble part,
In Justice ought to do no less,
Than share the Fruits of the Success:
Tis true, I must confess, we're told
In Hist'ry, that the Knights of old,
Their Bounties and Rewards delay'd
Till their poor Squires were quite decay'd,
By the hard Service they had done,
And Wounds receiv'd in risques they'd run:
But I, Friend Sancho, thou shalt find,
Will prove more generous and kind;
For the first Empire I subdue,
A Kingdom will I give to you,
Add Royal Honours to your Name,
And Crown thee Monarch of the same;
All which I'll do thou need'st not doubt,
Before six Days are gone about,
For mighty Things, if well projected,
May be in little time effected.
Ne'er fear but I will do thee right;
'T'as always been and still must be
The Custom in Knight Errantry,
For Knights who fight for Honours sake,
By way of recompence, to make
269
Of Kingdoms, they have won in Wars;
For he who with a Valiant Heart,
In Conquest bears a noble part,
In Justice ought to do no less,
Than share the Fruits of the Success:
Tis true, I must confess, we're told
In Hist'ry, that the Knights of old,
Their Bounties and Rewards delay'd
Till their poor Squires were quite decay'd,
By the hard Service they had done,
And Wounds receiv'd in risques they'd run:
But I, Friend Sancho, thou shalt find,
Will prove more generous and kind;
For the first Empire I subdue,
A Kingdom will I give to you,
Add Royal Honours to your Name,
And Crown thee Monarch of the same;
All which I'll do thou need'st not doubt,
Before six Days are gone about,
270
May be in little time effected.
Sancho transported with Delight,
Reply'd unto his Master Knight,
‘And shall I be a King d'ye say,
‘I wish to see that happy Day;
‘It makes me laugh to think how Joan
‘My Wife, would look upon a Throne;
‘For if I rise to Kingly Pow'r,
‘Then Joan must be a Queen besure,
‘And all our Bearns, who now are Clad
‘In Rags and Tatters, and are glad
‘To run upon their naked Tentoes,
‘Be made rich Princes and Infanta's.
Reply'd unto his Master Knight,
‘And shall I be a King d'ye say,
‘I wish to see that happy Day;
‘It makes me laugh to think how Joan
‘My Wife, would look upon a Throne;
‘For if I rise to Kingly Pow'r,
‘Then Joan must be a Queen besure,
‘And all our Bearns, who now are Clad
‘In Rags and Tatters, and are glad
‘To run upon their naked Tentoes,
‘Be made rich Princes and Infanta's.
You need not fear, reply'd the Knight,
But all these Things will happen right;
How oft have Rural Nymphs and Clowns,
Been rais'd from Shepherds Crooks to Crowns.
And climb'd by Fortunes Smiles from nothing
To dainty Bits and costly Clothing;
Therefore ne'er doubt but by my Sword,
Or Lance, I'll soon make good my Word,
And honest Joan and you shall share
A Kingdom, tho' I know not where,
And your fair Progeny shall be
Successors in the Monarchy.
But all these Things will happen right;
How oft have Rural Nymphs and Clowns,
Been rais'd from Shepherds Crooks to Crowns.
And climb'd by Fortunes Smiles from nothing
To dainty Bits and costly Clothing;
271
Or Lance, I'll soon make good my Word,
And honest Joan and you shall share
A Kingdom, tho' I know not where,
And your fair Progeny shall be
Successors in the Monarchy.
‘Master, quoth Sancho, all I fear
Is, that if Joan should come to wear
A Crown, 'twould sit I know not how,
Just like a Saddle on a Sow;
For tho' she carries, I confess,
The Milk-pail with a wondrous Grace,
Yet such a Golden Badge of Honour
Would hang so awkwardly upon her,
That I dare swear she'd look therein
Like a coarse Tapstry hanging Queen,
Who by her stiffness seems to be
Unworthy of her Dignity;
Therefore on second thoughts poor Joan
Will never well become a Throne,
‘Her Bulk, her Breeding, and her Stature,
‘Her Ruddy Face and homely Feature,
‘May, if she strains a Point, agree
‘With Countess, but not Majesty:
‘So that indeed I don't desire
‘She ever should be rais'd much higher,
‘'Cause she's too headstrong, loud and little,
‘In short for any Royal Title.
Is, that if Joan should come to wear
A Crown, 'twould sit I know not how,
Just like a Saddle on a Sow;
For tho' she carries, I confess,
The Milk-pail with a wondrous Grace,
Yet such a Golden Badge of Honour
Would hang so awkwardly upon her,
That I dare swear she'd look therein
Like a coarse Tapstry hanging Queen,
Who by her stiffness seems to be
Unworthy of her Dignity;
Therefore on second thoughts poor Joan
Will never well become a Throne,
272
‘Her Ruddy Face and homely Feature,
‘May, if she strains a Point, agree
‘With Countess, but not Majesty:
‘So that indeed I don't desire
‘She ever should be rais'd much higher,
‘'Cause she's too headstrong, loud and little,
‘In short for any Royal Title.
Quoth Quixote, never Entertain
A Thought so scandalous and mean,
I can foresee that You and She
Are Born to Soveraignity,
And must e'erlong, in spite of Fate,
Be both Majestically Great.
‘Nay, replies Sancho, if our Stars
‘Will force such Favours unawares
‘Upon us, we must be Content,
‘And manage well our Government;
‘But I'd be glad methinks to know
‘In what strange World those Kingdoms grow,
‘O'er which your Worship, as you say,
‘Intends to bear Imperial Sway,
‘And under whom, my Dame and I
‘Are jointly doom'd to Majesty.
A Thought so scandalous and mean,
I can foresee that You and She
Are Born to Soveraignity,
And must e'erlong, in spite of Fate,
Be both Majestically Great.
‘Nay, replies Sancho, if our Stars
‘Will force such Favours unawares
‘Upon us, we must be Content,
‘And manage well our Government;
273
‘In what strange World those Kingdoms grow,
‘O'er which your Worship, as you say,
‘Intends to bear Imperial Sway,
‘And under whom, my Dame and I
‘Are jointly doom'd to Majesty.
Thus as they jog'd along the Plains,
The one infected t'other's Brains,
Till the poor trusty Squire was quite
Deluded by the frantick Knight.
Since groundless hopes of Gain we find
Sometimes will Humane Reason blind,
How far must real Int'rest sway
The Mind, and lead the World astray.
The one infected t'other's Brains,
Till the poor trusty Squire was quite
Deluded by the frantick Knight.
Since groundless hopes of Gain we find
Sometimes will Humane Reason blind,
How far must real Int'rest sway
The Mind, and lead the World astray.
| The Life and Notable Adventures of that Renown'd Knight, Don Quixote De la Mancha | |