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Great Iupiter being at a solemne feast
With all the Gods, Vulcan that sootie beast,
A Pipe of his Tobacco fell to drinke:
Venus displeas'd, said fye sweet loue you stinke,
And I am sure that Iuno you offend:
Neither will Pallas hold you for her friend,
Ceres will say the fume will blast her corne,
And Floraes flowers such lothsome smell doe scorne,
Put vp your pipe, smoke here no more you musts
The very steeme makes Mars his armor rust,
And cloudes Appolloe's glorious sun-bright face,
Saturne you see spits at it in disgrace,

What rhume's in Bacchus eyes, how red they looke?
How long ist loue since you Tobacco tooke?
Marry (quoth he) late sitting on my trough,
(With that he whift till all the Gods cry'd fough)
Came a young deuill of th' infernall nation,
And brought me that with Plutoes commendation.
And said, to drinke with me he had desire,
Because I traded like to him with fire.
Now they drinke neither wine, nor ale, nor beare,
But fire, and stinke, and smoke, as this is here.
When Ioue heard this, well Vulcan (quoth he) well,
For shame let vs distinguish Heauen from Hell.
Cast hence your rowle, and your Tobacco ball:
Or else with thunder ile destroy it all,
My lightning shall consume it from your Nose,
With that from Heauen Mercury it throwes,
And downe amongst the Blackamores it lights:
Whome Ioues wing'd Herald did suppose were sprites.
So by that error they Tobacco got,
And fell to smoke it very burning hot,
As common and frequent with euery Moore,
As with th' infernall furies t'was before.
Not long fire drinking was at their dispose,
But that the smell came to the Spaniards Nose,

And he would teach his braine some smother too;
French, Dutch, Italian, they the like would doe:
But th' English to disgrace them all did striue,
His Nose should smoke with any Nose aliue.
Thus like an ill weed that growes fast, 'tis come,
To stinke in Nostrils throughout Christen dome,
So that of most it may be truely spoke,
Their tongues yeeld idle breath, their Noses smoke.