University of Virginia Library

It was with great interest that I
read of the "Bath Tub Mess" in
Courtenay House in Thursday's
Cavalier Daily Last year a
different type of bathroom fixture
graced the first floor suite in Lile
House that I happened to live in.

Early in the school year, we in
the suite acquired a toilet, complete
with seat, but minus the flush
mechanism and miscellaneous
plumbing. After placing the toilet
under the twin shower sprays and
dousing it liberally with Tide to
clean it off, we deemed it
respectable enough to occupy a
position of honor in Our Suite.

Fearful that some inebriated
soul might actually try to use the
toilet for its normal purpose on a
big weekend, Our Suite decided to
place a plant of some sort in its
great, cavernous bowl. An
excursion was made to Woolco,
where a well-proportioned split leaf
plant and two bags of plant
food-enriched soil were purchased.
The soil was put into the toilet, and
the plant into the soil. And it was
made good. And in honor of our
honorable Acting Director of
Housing (at that time), the plant
was named ..... Ralph.

Ralph became an integral part of
the suite, and played an important
part in our lives. He was watered
regularly, with all suite members
gladly giving Him His weekly
feeding. When the ubiquitous
Charlottesville dust coated His
leaves, we bathed Him. A bit of
suite rowdiness resulted in a badly
cut leaf once, but Gene dutifully
applied a bandage to the wound.

Sacrifices were made to the
Great Ralph—holey socks, assorted
gourds, a discarded Halloween
mask, a broken exhaust pipe and
muffler, a toy dinosaur, an
emergency hitch-hiking sign, one of
Joe Smith's expectorated tobacco
chaws, and many other offerings
were placed at His feet.

Maids, janitors, housing
inspectors, and guests all came to
know and love Ralph. And never
were we told that Ralph and His
accouterments constituted an
"unsuitable piece of furniture," or
an appliance, or any other sort of
hazard.

The Olde Suite has now split up,
and Ralph is gone. But He lives on
in our hearts. And thanks to the
kind people at Corks & Curls,
Ralph will be remembered by the
entire University Community, for a
picture of Ralph occupies a
position of Honor on pages
250-251 of the 1970 Corks & Curls.