University of Virginia Library

DE PROFUNDIS.

I have no strength at all, Love, save through thee,—
Man helps me not, and God, if God there be,
Has turned His face in anger; help me then,
O thou who governest the lives of men!
I have blasphemed against thy name, and said,
“Love is as other gods, a god to dread,
A mighty, uncompassionating god;
A god who scourges with a fiery rod,
A wrathful god, who desolates our years,
Filling the breast with sighs, the eyes with tears,—
Hot, bitter, blinding tears that bring no ease.”
Such things I said; yea, bitterer things than these,
But never said thou wast not, or denied
In any way thy godhead. I had died
Before thee, speaking impious things and base,
Hadst thou not turned a favorable face;
Hadst thou not raised me up, and bade me see,
In her I worship, thy divinity.
O Love! from whom no secret thought is hidden,
Thou knowest well how bitterly, self-chidden,
I fall before thee in my heart, and cry,
Love, save me, or I perish! Life goes by,—
Each day the thing I would not, that I do,
Because I am so worthless. Oh, renew
A righteous spirit in me. Let me say,
When I from life's sad memories pass away,
At least, I am more worthy; if we meet
In any unknown kingdom, strange and sweet,
I shall not turn my face, as if in shame,
But answer, when She calls me by my name,
And tell her, how not all in vain I strove
To keep my whole life stainless for her love.
O Love! I do conjure thee, by her grace,
By all the anguish of a last embrace,
To keep me in the way that I would go,
To give me strength to conquer, and to show
Her glory in my life, till all men see
What love can do for love. Love, strengthen me!
What man another's thoughts shall understand?
I am become an alien in the land.
I am like those who hear not, and as one
Who, being blind, discerneth not the sun.
I am like one whose lips were sealed from birth,
And like a man who falleth to the earth
Because his strength is wasted utterly:
But breathe thou on my eyes, and I shall see;
Unclose my ears, and I shall hear; unseal
My lips, and let me with my mouth reveal
Thy wondrous works. Increase my strength withal,
That I may walk uprightly, and not fall, —
Fall not, nor stumble, though the way be long,
Led by thy hand, and in thy strength made strong.
Thou gavest, and Death took; and I am left,
Of every joy and every hope bereft,
Save this, — that I be able, at the last,
To look unshamed upon a bitter past.
My sorrow is not hidden from thy sight;
Have I not called upon thee in the night,
And in the day? “Love, Love!” have I not cried,
And hast thou not from thy far heaven replied?
Yea, thou hast answered me, and said, “Be strong!
Perchance, the way is not so very long;
O son, be firm, and I will send thee aid.
Have I not heard, and wilt thou be afraid?”
O Love! make haste to help me, or I fall;
Without thy aid, I cannot strive at all.
I shall be trodden under foot, and shamed,
Whenever with my name her own is named.
'T is knowledge of thy laws for which I pant —
Oh, teach me, thou, to keep thy covenant.
Men fall from thee by reason of their grief,
And think that other gods can grant relief.
Thou art the only god compassionate,
Oh, give me strength and patience, Love, to wait.
We know not what comes after death, but trust
That no fresh sorrow quickeneth in the dust.
No man can tell for certain what shall be;
Death lies before us like a sombre sea.
It may be, land is on the farther side;
But none come back across the awful tide
To bear us revelation. We must stand,
And watch the dark waves mounting up the strand.
Thou couldst not keep them from her; did she go
As one who trembles and holds back? Not so,
Thy light was in her heart; thy saving grace
Made lovelier even that divinest face.
She preached thy gospel; through her life I came
To comprehend the glory of thy name.
Now by the joy that was, and grief that is,
By every sacred unforgotten kiss,
By all the bitterness of unshed tears,
Help me to bear the burden of the years;
Give me fresh courage, and sustain my soul;
Purge me of all uncleanness, make me whole,
That I may show thy wonders fitly; then,
Glory to thee, O Love, in all. Amen.