University of Virginia Library

SCEN. II.

Enter Falatius, Labree, as passing by meet Cleontius.
Cle.
Your Servant, my Lord.
—so coldly, stay—your reason, Sir.

[Fal. puts off his hat a little, and passes on.
Fal.
How mean you, Sir?

Cle.
Do you not know me?

Fal.
Yes I have seen you, and think you are Cleontius,
A Servant of the Princes; wert i'th' Campania too,
If I mistake not.

Cle.
Can you recall me by no better instances?

Fal.
What need of any, pray?

Cle.
I am a Gentleman.

Fal.
Ha Labree, what means he now?
By Jove I do not question it, Cleontius:
What need this odd Punctilio?
I call thee to no account.

Cle.
That's more then I can say to you, Sir.

Fal.
I'le excuse you for that.

Cle.
You shall not need, Sir: stay, I have a Sister.

Fal.
Oh the Devil, now he begins.

Cle.
A handsom Sister too, or you deceiv'd her.

Labree.
Bear up, Sir, be not huft.

[aside.
Fal.
It may be so, but is she kind, Cleontius?

[Fal. bears up.
Cle.
What mean you by that word?

Lab.
Again Sir, here's too to one.

[aside.
Fa.
Will she do reason, or so, you understand me.

Cle.
I understand that thou'rt an impudent fellow,
Whom I must cudgell into better manners.

Fa.
Pox on't who bears up now Labree?

Cle.
Beat till thou dost confess thou art an ass.
And on thy knees confess it to Isillia,
Who after that shall scorn thee.

Lab.
Rally with him Sir, 'tis your only way, and put it
Off with a jest, for he's in fury, but dares not
Strike i'th' Court.

Fa.
But must you needs do this, needs fight Cleontius?

Cle.
Yes, by all means, I find my self inclin'd to't.

Fa.
You shall have your desire, Sir, farewell.

Cle.
When, and where?

Fa.
Faith very suddenly, for I think it will not be
Hard to find men of your trade
Men that will fight as long as you can do,
And men that love it much better then I,
Men that are poor, and damn'd, fine desperate Rogues,
Rascalls that for a Pattacoone a man
Will fight their Fathers,
And kiss their Mothers into peace again.
Such Sir, I think will fit you?

Cle.
Abusive Coward hast thou no sence of honour.

Fal.
Sence of honour, ha, ha, ha, poor Cleontius.

Enters Aminta and Olinda.
Am.
How now servant, why so joviall?

Fa.
I was laughing Madam—at—

Cle.
At what thou thing of nothing—

Am.
Cozen Cleontius you are angry.

Cle.
Madam, it is unjustly then, for fools
Should rather move the spleen to mirth then anger.

Am.
You've too much wit to take ought ill from him,
Lets know your quarrel.

Fa.
By Jove Labree I am undone again.

Cle.
Madam, it was about—

Fa.
Hold dear Cleontius, hold, and I'le do any thing.

[aside.
Cle.
Just nothing—

Fa.
He was a little too familiar with me—

Cle.
Madam, my Sister Isillia.—

Fa.
A curse he will out with it—

[aside, pulls him by the arm.
Cle.
Confess she is your Mistress.

[aside.
Fa.
I call my mistress Madam.

Am.
My Cozen Isillia your Mistress,
Upon my word you are a happy man.

Fa.
By Jove if she be your Cozen, Madam,
I love her much the better for't.

Am.
I am beholding to you,
But then it seems I've lost a lover of you

Cle.
Confess she has or I'le so handle you.

[Exit Labree.
Fa.
That's too much Cleontius—but I will,
By Iove; Madam, I must not have a Mistress that
Has more wit then my self, they ever require
More then a mans able to give them.

Oli.
Is this your way of Courtship to Isillia?

[Exit Cle.
Fa.
By Iove, Ladies, you get no more of that from me,
'Tis that has spoyled you all; I find Alcander can
Do more with a dumb show, then I with all my
Applications and address.

Oli.
Why, my Brother can speak.

Fa.
Yes, if any body durst hear him, by Iove if you
Be not kind to him, he'le Hector you all; I'le get
The way on't too, 'tis the most prosperous one; I see no
Other reason you have to love Alcander
Better then I.

Am.
Why should you think I do?

Fa.
Divel I see't well enough by your continual
Quarrells with him.

Am.
Is that so certain a proof?

Fa.
Ever whilst you live, you treat me too
Well ever to hope.
Enter Alcander, kneels, offers his sword to Aminta.
—What new Masquerade's this? by Iove, Alcander
Has more tricks then a dancing Bear.

Am.
What mean you by this present?

Alc.
Kill me.

Am.
What have you done to merit it?

Alcan.
Do not ask, but do't.

Am.
I'le have a reason first.

Alcan.
I think I've kill'd Pisaro.

Am.
My Brother dead!

[She falls into the arms of Olinda.
Fa.
Madam look up, 'tis I that call.

Am.
I care not who thou beest, but if a man
Revenge me on Alcander.

[She goes out with Olin.
Fa.
By Iove she has mistook her man.
This 'tis to be a lover now,
A man's never out of one broyle or other.
But I have more wit then Aminta this bout.

[offers to go.
Alcan.
Come back and do your duty ere you go.

[pulls him.
Fa.
I owe you much Alcander.

Alcan.
Aminta said you should revenge her on me—

Fa.
Her word's not law I hope.

Alcan.
And I'le obey—

Fa.
That may do much indeed.

[Fal. answers with great signs of fear.
Alcan.
This if thou wert a man she bad thee do
Why dost thou shake?

Fa.
No, no, Sir, I am not the man she meant.

Alcan.
No matter thou wilt serve as well,
A Lover! and canst disobey this Mistress?

Fa.
I do disown her since she is so wicked
To bid me kill my friend,
Why thou'rt my friend Alcander.

Alcan.
I'le forgive thee that.

Fa.
So will not His Majesty: I may be hang'd for't.

Alcan.
Thou shouldst be damn'd ere disobey thy Mistress.

Fa.
These be degrees of Love I am not yet arriv'd
At, when I am, I shall be as ready to be damn'd
In honour as any lover of you all.

Alcan.
Owns Sir, d' ye rally with me?

Fa.
Your pardon, sweet Alcander, I protest I am
Not in so gay an humour.

Alcan.
For well I had forgot my self.

[exit.
Fa.
Stark mad, by Jove—yet it may be not, for
Alcander has many unaccountable Humors;
Well, if this be agreeable to Aminta, she's e'ne as
Mad as he, and 'twere great pity to part them.

Enter Pisaro, Aminta and Olinda.
Am.
Well, have you kill'd him?

Fa.
Some wiser then some, Madam.
—My Lord—what alive?—

Pis.
Worth two dead men, you see.

[See Pisaro runs to him and embraces him.
Fa.
That's more then I could have said
Within this half houre.
Alcander's a very Orlando, by Jove, and gone to
Seek out one that's madder yet then himself, that will
Kill him.

Am.
Oh, dear Falatius, run and fetch him back.

Fa.
Madam, I have so lately 'scap'd a scouring,
That I wish you would take it for a mark
Of my passion to disobey you, for he is in a damn'd
Humour.

Am.
He's out of it by this, I warrant you;
But do not tell him that Pisaro lives.

Fa.
That's as I shall find occasion.

[Fal. exit.
Pis.
Alcander is a worthy youth and brave,
I wish you would esteem him so;
'Tis true, there's now some difference between us,
Our interest are dispos'd to several ways,
But time and management will joyn us all:
I'le leave you, but prithee make it thy business,
To get my Pardon for my last nights rudeness.

Am.
I shall not fail.

[Exit.
Enter Alcander melancholy.
Fa.
Here, Madam, here he is.

Am.
Tell me, Alcander, why you treat me thus?
You say you love me if I could believe you.

Alcan.
Beleeve a man, away, you have no wit,
I'le say as much to every pretty woman.

Am.
But I have given you no cause to wrong me.

Alcan.
That was my fate, not fault, I knew him not:
But yet to make up my offence to you,
I offer you my life: for I'm undone,
If any faults of mine should make you sad.

Am.
Here, take your sword again, my Brother's well.

[She gives him his Sword again.
Fa.
Yes, by Jove, as I am: you had been finely
Serv'd if I had kill'd you now.

Am.
What sorry for the news, ha, ha, ha.

Alcan.
No, sorry: y'are a woman, a meer woman.

Am.
Why did you ever take me for a man? ha, ha.

Alcan.
Thy soul, I thought was all so; but I see
You have your weakness, can dissemble too;
—I would have sworn that sorrow in your face,
Had been a real one:
Nay, you can die in jest: you can, false woman:
I hate thy Sex for this.

Fa.
By Jove, there is no truth in them, that's flat.

Alcan.
Why that repentant look, what new design?
[she looks sad.
—Come, now a tear or two to second that,
And I am soft again, a very Ass.
—But yet that look would call a Saint from th' Altar,
And make him quite forget his Ceremony,
Or take thee for his Deity:
—But yet thou hast a very Hell within,
Which those bewitching eyes draw souls into.

Fa.
Here's he that fits you, Ladies.

Am.
Nay, now y'are too unjust, and I will leave you.

Alcan.
Ah, do not go, I know not by what Magick,
[holds her
But as you move, my soul yields that way too.

Fa.
The truth on't is, she has a strong Magnetick
Power, that I find.

Alcan.
But I will have none find it but my self,
No soul but mine shall sympathize with hers.

Fa.
Nay, that you cannot help.

Alcan.

Yes but I can, and take it from thee if I thought it
did so.

Ol.
No quarrels here I pray.

Fa.
Madam, I owe a Reverence to the place.

Alcan.
I'le scarce allow thee that;
Madam, I'le leave you to your Lover.

Am.
I hate thee but for saying so.

Alcan.
Quit him then.

Am.
So I can and thee too.

[offers to go out.
Alcan.
The devil take me if you 'scape me so.

[goes after her
Fal.
And I'le not be out-done in importunity.

[goes after.