Hudibras Redivivus or, a Burlesque poem on the times. The Second Edition. To which is added, An Apology, and some other Improvements throughout the Whole [by Edward Ward] |
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| V. |
| VI. | CANTO VI. |
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| II. |
 | Hudibras Redivivus |  |
22
CANTO VI.
No sooner had I cross'd the Gound-sel,
Thus fortify'd with good old Counsel,
But a long Train of hawking Varlots,
Together mix'd with screaming Harlots,
Came flying by me in a Heat,
With their Hair tagg'd with Pearls of Sweat,
Running 'gainst all that did not mind 'em,
As if the Dev'l had been behind 'em;
Bawling a Speech with hideous Voice,
That made, like them, a wond'rous Noise,
Which, tho' 'twas spoken by a N---le,
To shew how England's made the Bubble,
And did i'th' Title boldly wear
The Name and Sanction of a P---r;
Yet (tho' with great Concern I tell it,)
'Twas cry'd as Wenches cry pick'd Sallet;
A lumping Pen'worth will you buy,
You've all this for a Half-penny.
Surely, thought I, a wise Oration,
Intended for the Good o'th' Nation,
Must needs be worth so small a Token,
Or else 't had better ne'er been spoken:
So out I pull'd a piece of Copper,
And bought this celebrated Paper:
I conn'd it o'er, it proving Witty,
With as much Pleasure as a City
Apprentice does a new Love-Ditty:
No Fault could I discover in 't,
Except too true to put in Print,
At such a time when 'tis the Fashion,
With Lies and Shams to gull the Nation,
And with destructive Querks and Tricks,
Those damn'd Fanatick Politicks,
To draw the Crowd from their Allegiance,
Into a State of Disobedience.
The Devil us'd, as all believe,
The self-same Policy with Eve,
And made her, by his wicked Lies,
Turn Fool, in hopes to be more Wise.
So Nations, by that Knavish Cry,
Of Liberty and Property,
Are oft brought into Slavery.
Thus fortify'd with good old Counsel,
But a long Train of hawking Varlots,
Together mix'd with screaming Harlots,
Came flying by me in a Heat,
With their Hair tagg'd with Pearls of Sweat,
Running 'gainst all that did not mind 'em,
As if the Dev'l had been behind 'em;
Bawling a Speech with hideous Voice,
That made, like them, a wond'rous Noise,
Which, tho' 'twas spoken by a N---le,
To shew how England's made the Bubble,
And did i'th' Title boldly wear
The Name and Sanction of a P---r;
Yet (tho' with great Concern I tell it,)
'Twas cry'd as Wenches cry pick'd Sallet;
A lumping Pen'worth will you buy,
You've all this for a Half-penny.
23
Intended for the Good o'th' Nation,
Must needs be worth so small a Token,
Or else 't had better ne'er been spoken:
So out I pull'd a piece of Copper,
And bought this celebrated Paper:
I conn'd it o'er, it proving Witty,
With as much Pleasure as a City
Apprentice does a new Love-Ditty:
No Fault could I discover in 't,
Except too true to put in Print,
At such a time when 'tis the Fashion,
With Lies and Shams to gull the Nation,
And with destructive Querks and Tricks,
Those damn'd Fanatick Politicks,
To draw the Crowd from their Allegiance,
Into a State of Disobedience.
The Devil us'd, as all believe,
The self-same Policy with Eve,
And made her, by his wicked Lies,
Turn Fool, in hopes to be more Wise.
24
Of Liberty and Property,
Are oft brought into Slavery.
Again I pauz'd on this Oration,
And read it still with Approbation;
Some Truths it very plainly hints,
At many more the Author squints;
Well worthy of the L---'s Inspection,
And better worth the S---te's Correction.
Why should a Subject be debarr'd
From saying 'tis unjustly hard,
That we should lead the Martial Dance,
To save the D---ch from Spain and France,
And still th'ingrateful, thankless Skippers,
Shall make poor England pay the Pipers:
Their Trade with France does plainly shew
They thrive; so give the Dev'l his due,
And let them pay the Musick too.
And read it still with Approbation;
Some Truths it very plainly hints,
At many more the Author squints;
Well worthy of the L---'s Inspection,
And better worth the S---te's Correction.
Why should a Subject be debarr'd
From saying 'tis unjustly hard,
That we should lead the Martial Dance,
To save the D---ch from Spain and France,
And still th'ingrateful, thankless Skippers,
Shall make poor England pay the Pipers:
Their Trade with France does plainly shew
They thrive; so give the Dev'l his due,
And let them pay the Musick too.
Since the Wise D---ch will not appear
To th'World such errant Fools as we're,
And we no Measures can devise,
To Cullies make of our Allies;
Let us by them Example take,
And manage wisely our last Stake;
Least Head-long we pursue our Ruin,
And save them at our own Undoing.
To th'World such errant Fools as we're,
25
To Cullies make of our Allies;
Let us by them Example take,
And manage wisely our last Stake;
Least Head-long we pursue our Ruin,
And save them at our own Undoing.
E'er I could make my Observation
Upon the Han'ver Invitation,
And all the parts o'th' Speech which were
Just half as many as appear
In Lilly's Grammer, which by Pain
And Dint of Whipping, we retain;
But a new Flat-cap, scoundrel Fry,
With daggl'd Tails, came bawling by,
Here is his Lordship's Noble Speech,
And De F---'s Answer, cry's a B---ch,
A Half-penny apiece for each.
Here, said I, take your Mumper's Fee,
Let's see one; Thank you, Sir, said she.
Thought I, what means this Tack-about?
What makes old Thumond's Cocks fall out,
Who, when they heretofore were try'd,
Shew'd themselves always of a Side?
Upon the Han'ver Invitation,
And all the parts o'th' Speech which were
Just half as many as appear
In Lilly's Grammer, which by Pain
And Dint of Whipping, we retain;
But a new Flat-cap, scoundrel Fry,
With daggl'd Tails, came bawling by,
Here is his Lordship's Noble Speech,
And De F---'s Answer, cry's a B---ch,
A Half-penny apiece for each.
Here, said I, take your Mumper's Fee,
Let's see one; Thank you, Sir, said she.
Thought I, what means this Tack-about?
What makes old Thumond's Cocks fall out,
26
Shew'd themselves always of a Side?
Eager of knowing what was in't,
Expecting Wit or Argument
From a bold Champion, that should dare
To thus confront a Noble P---r;
I read, and read, still forward went,
But wonder'd what the Dev'l he meant;
At last I found, instead of Answer,
Meer dull Scurility and Banter,
Which shew no Honour could restrain
The scoundrel Freedom of his Pen;
And that, according to his Use,
He cannot write without Abuse,
Or sure he would not have preferr'd
His Lousy Tinker to my Lord.
Expecting Wit or Argument
From a bold Champion, that should dare
To thus confront a Noble P---r;
I read, and read, still forward went,
But wonder'd what the Dev'l he meant;
At last I found, instead of Answer,
Meer dull Scurility and Banter,
Which shew no Honour could restrain
The scoundrel Freedom of his Pen;
And that, according to his Use,
He cannot write without Abuse,
Or sure he would not have preferr'd
His Lousy Tinker to my Lord.
But that which is above the rest,
The pretty'st, paultry, cunning Jest,
He tells his Reader, he shall shew
The Def'rence to a P---r that's due,
And yet he says most rudely plain,
That he believes no Mortal Man
Of Truth, good Manners, or Discretion,
Or that esteems his Reputation,
Could without Scandal or Dishonour,
Confess himself that Sp---'s Owner;
Yet sees his L---p in the Title,
To shew it was a true Recital,
And that for th'Benefit o'th' Nation,
'Twas printed by his Approbation.
The pretty'st, paultry, cunning Jest,
He tells his Reader, he shall shew
The Def'rence to a P---r that's due,
27
That he believes no Mortal Man
Of Truth, good Manners, or Discretion,
Or that esteems his Reputation,
Could without Scandal or Dishonour,
Confess himself that Sp---'s Owner;
Yet sees his L---p in the Title,
To shew it was a true Recital,
And that for th'Benefit o'th' Nation,
'Twas printed by his Approbation.
Thus thro' his Cant, the World may see
His due Respect to Qualitie.
His due Respect to Qualitie.
So have I heard an evil Tongue,
With Malice and ill Nature hung,
Revile a Man behind his Back,
And rend'r him odiously Black;
Yet vow he honours and respects
The Person whom he thus detracts.
With Malice and ill Nature hung,
Revile a Man behind his Back,
And rend'r him odiously Black;
Yet vow he honours and respects
The Person whom he thus detracts.
Next does our mannerly Respondent
Sum up four Topicks he has found in't,
And humbly begs he may have leave
To answer, and to undeceive,
Without Offence, which when h'as done,
Truly he answers ne'er a one;
The first three Heads he scorns to handle,
But then the fourth he mauls with Scandal,
And to the better shew his Spleen,
He head-long hauls Mercurius in,
As Poet Bays, does, by my Soul,
His Petty-coat upon a Pole.
Thus on a sudden turns his Britch,
Clown-like, upon his L---p's Sp---ch,
And out of all due Place or Season,
Attacks the D---r without Reason,
As if the Noddy, thro' Mistake,
Had thought himself a Match for D---.
Sum up four Topicks he has found in't,
28
To answer, and to undeceive,
Without Offence, which when h'as done,
Truly he answers ne'er a one;
The first three Heads he scorns to handle,
But then the fourth he mauls with Scandal,
And to the better shew his Spleen,
He head-long hauls Mercurius in,
As Poet Bays, does, by my Soul,
His Petty-coat upon a Pole.
Thus on a sudden turns his Britch,
Clown-like, upon his L---p's Sp---ch,
And out of all due Place or Season,
Attacks the D---r without Reason,
As if the Noddy, thro' Mistake,
Had thought himself a Match for D---.
So have I heard, when charming Linnet
Delights the Meadows with her Sonnet,
A Hedge-bird churring sit hard by,
To answer t'other's Harmony,
Believing that she sung as well
As any warbling Philomel;
When her dull Discord, all the while,
Serv'd t'other only for a Foil.
Delights the Meadows with her Sonnet,
A Hedge-bird churring sit hard by,
To answer t'other's Harmony,
Believing that she sung as well
As any warbling Philomel;
When her dull Discord, all the while,
Serv'd t'other only for a Foil.
| Hudibras Redivivus | |