University of Virginia Library

Upon two Cambridge Scholars at a baudy-House.

A Baudy House? and Men of Your Profession?
Believe it You art guilty of digression.
It may be You presum'd that we could not
Discern't, for the dark Lanthorn of Your Coat?
But have a care; it does You so behove,
Your Works of Darknesse do not fruitful prove.
'Tis like, before, You argu'd with Your sweets
Upon the Bed, but now y'are in the sheets.
Well, You the way (Sirs) of all Flesh are going,
We should be glad to hear of Your well doing.
Ride on, and overcome, yet let me say,
The common Road's not alwayes the High-way.
This Paradox I leave to Your construction,
The lower way's the High-way to destruction.
Bravely resolv'd though, for in every she
Each did embrace his University.
Pure Nursery, y'are Youths of quick discerning,
If Baudy-Houses be Schools of good Learning.
The strongest Argument's drawn from the Face,
Like Kentish heirs, the Junior there takes place.
Yet (Learned Sirs) You enter'd but their Gates,
And they became Your under Graduates.
They smartly their Opponents though, refute,
And commonly maintain a hot dispute.
I know y'are able, yet give them their due,
In somethings (Sirs) they are too deep for You.
You are but Fresh men in the French disasters,
You may be sure though to go out Whore-Masters.
If Learnedly You do but kiss, and clip,
You may in time suspect Your fellowship.
The next commencement, you'l out Doctors sure,
And 't may be requisite for Your own Cure.
I'm sorry You should travel in this fashion,
From Taverns to the Wine of Fornication.
And make Your selves the subject of this Satyr,
Are these the Daughters of Your Alma Mater?
In good time, when Your money they were earning,
They shew you then a trick (Sirs) for your Learning.
Each of them in a Syllogistick way,
Presenting a substantial Barbara,
How durst You then on such Polemicks fall,
Whose very terms themselves are natural?
Their eyes dispute, they turn but up their Hoods,
And show You both their Figures and there Moods.
But, to conclude the scene, rather obscene
This Riddle more, And tell me what I mean.
In Baudy-Houses (Sirs) You may perhaps
Escape applause, but very seldom Claps.