University of Virginia Library

Number Two

An important discovery felt to
be of great importance to the entire
University community has recently
been made by a group of graduate
students in Emmet House. Contrary
to all indications and beliefs (yes,
beliefs!) the rooms on the Lawns
and Ranges are no longer recognized
by administrators within the
Housing Office as the most prestigious
accommodations on the
Grounds. Their position as the
desirable housing has now (alas)
been usurped by (of all things) the
architectural monstrosity of McCormick
Road. Yes, the Housing
Office has decreed that single
rooms in Emmet House are now
worth more to a student than are
rooms in the Monroe Hill Houses or
on the Lawns and Ranges.

A simple listing of the merits of
Emmet - concrete block walls,
metal furniture, lack of curtains,
presence of roaches and noisy
weekend junior Wahoos in adjacent.
Page House - reveals that the price
of the Emmet House rooms ($374)
includes $19 a year more than-the
price of a large single on the Range
($355) for the sheer prestige of
living directly over the Housing
Office. This sum, it must be seen, is
more than enough to make the
rooms in Emmet the most expensive
housing available to male
students at Mr. Jefferson's University.

So, in conclusion, we the undersigned
residents of Emmet House
take this opportunity to inform
those men in other, previously
more highly-esteemed housing, that
they are now only NUMBER TWO!
The Housing Office has so decreed.