 | The Antipodes |  |
Scene 7.
Enter old Lady and Byplay, like a Servingman.La.
Yonder's your Master,
Goe take him you in hand, while I fetch breath,
Bip.
O are you here? my Lady, and my selfe
Have sought you sweetly.
Let.
You, and your Lady, you
Should ha' said Puppy.
For we heard you were
To be arrested. Pray sir, who has bail'd you?
I wonder who of all your bold acquaintance
That knowes my Lady durst baile off her husband.
Gent.
Indeed I was not touch'd.
Byp.
Have you not made
An end by composition, and disburs'd
Some of my Ladies money for a peace
That shall beget an open warre upon you?
Confesse it if you have: for 'twill come out.
She'll ha' you up you know. I speak it for your good.
Gent.
I know't, and ile entreate my Lady wife
To mend thy wages tother forty shillings
A yeare, for thy true care of me.
La.
Tis well Sir,
But now (if thou hast impudence so much,
As face to face, to speak unto a Lady
That is thy wife, and supreame head) tell me
At whose sute was it? or upon what action?
Debts I presume you have none: For who dares trust
A Ladyes husband, who is but a Squire,
And under covert barne? it is some trespasse—
Answer me not till I finde out the truth.
Gent.
The truth is—
La.
Peace,
How darst thou speake the truth
Before thy wife? ile finde it out my selfe.
Dia.
In truth she handles him handsomely.
Ioy.
Doe you like it?
Dia.
Yes, and such wives are worthy to be lik'd,
For giving good example.
Let.
Good! hold up
That humour by all meanes.
La.
I thinke I ha' found it.
There was a certaine Mercer sent you silkes,
And cloth of gold to get his wife with child;
You slighted her, and answered not his hopes;
And now he layes to arrest you; is't not so?
Gent.
Indeed my Lady wife tis so.
For shame
Be not ingratefull to that honest man,
To take his wares, and scorne to lye with his wife.
Do't I command you; what did I marry you for?
The portion that you brought me was not so
Aboundant, though it were five thousand pounds
(Considering too the Joincture that I made you)
That you should disobey me.
Dia.
It seemes the husbands
In the Antipodes bring portions, and
The wives make Joinctures.
Ioy.
Very well observ'd.
Dia.
And wives, when they are old, and past child-bearing,
Allow their youthfull husbands other women.
Let.
Right. And old men give their young wives like licence.
Dia.
That I like well. Why should not our old men,
Love their young wives as well?
Ioy.
Would you have it so?
Let.
Peace master Joylesse, you are too lowd. Good still.
Byp.
Doe as my Lady bids, you got her woman
With child at halfe these words.
Gent.
O, but anothers
Wife is another thing. Farre be it from
A Gentlemans thought to doe so, having a wife
And hand-mayd of his owne that he likes better.
Byp.
There said you well; but take heed I advise you
How you love your owne wench, or your owne wife
Better then other mens.
Dia.
Good Antipodian counsell.
La.
Goe to that woman, if she prove with childe,
I'll take it as mine owne.
Gent.
her husband would
Doe so. But from my house I may not stray.
Mar.
If it be me your wife commends you to,
You shall not need to stray from your owne house.
I'll goe home with you.
Bar.
Precious! what doe you meane?
Pray keepe your seat: you'll put the players out.
Joy.
Here's goodly stuffe! Shee's in the Antipodes too.
And what are those?
Doct.
All Antipodeans,
Attend good Sir.
La.
You know your charge, obey it.
| The Antipodes | |