The First Parte, of The Eyghth liberall Science Entituled, Ars adulandi, The Arte of Flatterie, with the confutation therof, both very pleasaunt and profitable, deuised and compiled, by Vlpian Fulwell |
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Tom Tapsters Lecture.
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 | The First Parte, of The Eyghth liberall Science |  |
Tom Tapsters Lecture.
As flying fame with golden trompe, hath sent thy brute abrode:So bounden duety by deserts bids mee my minde vnloade.
Thy hauty porte, thy heauenly gifts, thy line of noble race:
Thy passinge prayse, the happy state makes all men ioy thy case.
As one who for his countryes wealth, by fate was first ordaynde:
Oh happy soyle whose lucky lot so rare a gem hath gaynd.
But whether are our ioyes more great, in hauinge such a wight:
Or els our greefe when sisters three, shall worke their yreful spight.
And as both Heauen and earth are bent thy honour to procure,
So prudence thine (O noble Lord) must cause the same endure:
But by thy leaue (O maister mine,) I see and sighe withall:
That bounty should beare such asway, as to procure thy fall.
For thou (my Lorde) with princely pompe thy table doost maintayne,
A freend to all saue to thy selfe, but how may this remayne.
Thy purse is open to the poore, their naked lymmes to cloake:
Like Lords thy tennants liue at ease free from all seruill yoake.
If in the ende thy state decay, eche man bewayles the case,
Take time, in time, so feareles thou maist spit in Fortunes face,
And to begin, first cut thy troupe, and trayne of seruing men,
Where two or three may serue the turne, what shouldst thou doo with ten?
But ten times ten on you depend and by your purse maintaind:
Leaue of my Lord, as good as you that pompe hath now refraind.
Imploy the Court with dilligence in presence of the Prince:
Whence profit growes, & fauour springs though mumbling lobcocks wince.
Breake vp housekeeping & your troup, geue pasportes to your traine
In Court two wayters and a Page will serue while you remayne.
Agayne in Court such cheats do chance as causeth gaine to grow:
What neede I name the order how sith you your selfe do know,
If neede require that you appeare in presence of the king:
Your tennants are good hansome hines, when badged blew cates on,
So may you muster lustely with Simkin, Hob and Iohn.
And hee poore swad, will willingly, on cote bestow the cost:
His best cart horse will make good shifte, to ride with you in poste.
And were not these things better saued, then prodigally spent
Though you spend all, yet clownish crew, will neuer bee content:
And when continuance in the Court do breed desire of change.
With Haukes and Spaniels then you may about the country range.
Now here, now there, among your freendes how will you entertayne:
Plaine cuntry houses sumtimes hath in store, so ye you bring no trayn:
Mas parson sumtimes serues, a Capon or some such:
Pinch on the parsons side my Lorde, the whorsons haue to much.
And when you list to lye at ease, goe to some proper towne:
So shall you not bee charged oft to feede Sim swad the clowne.
Your stable then your owne turne serues, your stable may bee small,
Few dishes fraught with littel meate, to fill thee boarde withall
I trow your tennants will prouide, both Capon, Pig, and goose:
Beare them in hand their coppies naught and that the lease is loose.
So shall you haue prouision brought, to serue you all the yeare.
Yea sir, let tennants loke to that for markets now be deare.
And though your noble auncetors were cleane voyde of the skill:
That doth belong to husbandry, the greedy barne to fill.
Yet shun not you the trade to know, that yeeldeth treble gayne:
Nothing seemes hard to prudent men, where gaine requites the paine.
The more your knowledge doth excell the grater is your prayse:
Who knowes of land to make the most, is wisest now adayes.
When graue and prudent men are set, at table to their meate:
Their table talke tends to this ende, of husbandry to treat.
By meanes wherof no toyling Hine, that plowes and tilles the fielde
Can better tell then noble men, what gayne a plough will yeelde,
What neede the Grasser you beguile, in hyringe of your ground:
When you your selfe may plainly see what gayne doth thence redound
Why should the butcher gayne the Hide, in bying of a beefe:
This knowledge now in noble men doth chuse the farmers greefe.
Learne, learne (my Lorde) of landlords now to let thinges to the best:
Tis well when tennants crouch and creepe, to fill the landlordes chest.
Your shepeheard is a subtill knaue, and breeds himselfe a stocke:
By keeping many sheepe of his among your Lordships flocke.
Also you haue the Patronadge and gifte of goodly Tithes:
With faire globe lands in haruest time, that tryes the Mowers sithes
Which to bestow on prating priestes, for tellinge of a tale:
Is madnes meere, but rather you may set them out to sale.
Sir Simon is a lusty lad and hath good store of golde,
But set a price and doubt you not the mony is soone tolde.
Then may you choose a simple sot? who easely will incline,
To bee your drudge at all assayes? and feede among the swine.
Who will be glad with portion small although the fruites bee much,
Poore men with pottage are well pleasd, such fellowes wil not grutch.
What though hee bee no Preacher sir, haue you no care for that:
Hee hath a prety skill to dig and delue a garden plat.
These precepts if your Lordship marke, and put thesame in vre:
Then Fortune shall be at your becke and stoupe vnto your lure,
Loe thus (my Lord) I make an ende and wish you happy dayes.
To bath in blisse, to swim in ioy, to win immortall prayse.
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