University of Virginia Library

As supreme commander of
that valiant band of anti-war
heroes, the Charlottesville
Gorilla Theater, I feel obliged
to clarify some of our military
weekend activities. What many
people thought was a skit
satirizing police state tactics
against dissenters, was in fact a
real unprovoked attack upon
Steve Squire by Bob "the
Jock" Canevari and Alan
"the worm" Williams. We do
not believe in the use of
violence and our chief aim is to
educate people about the
violence being perpetrated by
their government and
university with their tacit
support.

It's really a mystery to me
why Canevari should be Dean
of Students at all, he's clearly
just another jock who ought to
be spending his time bullying
high school gym classes rather
than student dissenters.
Williams also surprised me by
his courage in pummeling
Squire while he was being held
by "the Jock."

In any case the Gorilla
Theater has some surprises of
its own in store for these
bureaucrats and others who
think they can put their
conscience in the closet for the
next few years. The General
would like to take this
opportunity to ask for recruits
for his non-violent army for
peace.

All are welcome who would
like to express their love and
concern for their fellow
creatures by protesting the
military madness that is ruining
our country. Times and
locations to be announced.

Stars and Stripes Forever,
General Westmoreland