3. CHAP. III.
HAVING thus dismissed the secondary
man, he called in his servant
Teague, and accosted him as follows:
Teague, said he, you have heretofore discovered
an ambition to be employed in
some way that would advance your reputation.
There is now a case fallen out, to
which you are fully competent. It is not
a matter that requires the head to contrive,
but the hand to execute. The greatest
fool is as fit for it as a wise man. It is indeed
your greatest blockheads that chiefly
undertake it. The knowledge of law, physic,
or divinity is out of the question. Literature,
and political understanding is
useless. Nothing more is necessary than a
little resolution of the heart. Yet it is an
undertaking which is of much estimation
with the rabble, and has a great many on
its side to approve and praise it. The females
of the world, especially admire the
act, and call it valour. I know you wish
to stand well with the ladies. Here is an
opportunity of advancing your credit. I
have had what is called a challenge sent me
this morning. It is from a certain Jacko,
who is a suitor to a Miss Fog, and has taken
offence at an expression of mine, respecting
him to this female. I wish you to
accept the challenge, and fight him for me.
At this proposition, Teague looked wild,
and made apology that he was not much
used to boxing. Boxing, said the Captain;
you are to fight what is called a duel.
You are to encounter him with pistol, and
put a bullet through him if you can. It
is true, he will have the chance of putting
one through you; but in that consists the
honour; for where there is no danger,
there is no glory. You will provide yourself
a second. There is an hostler here at
the public house, that is a brave fellow,
and will answer the purpose. Being furnished
with a second, you will provide
yourself with a pair of pistols, powder and
ball of course. In the mean time, your
adversary notified of your intentions, will
do the like. Thus apparalelled, you will
advance to the place agreed upon. The
ground will be measured out; ten, seven,
or five steps; back to back, and coming
round to your place, fire. Or taking your
ground, stand still and fire; or it may be,
advance and fire as you meet, at what distance
you think proper. The rules in this
respect are not fixed, but as the parties can
agree or the seconds point out. When you
come to fire, be sure you keep a steady
hand, and take good aim. Remember
that the pistol barrel being short, the powder
is apt to throw the bullet up. Your
sight therefore, ought to be about the
waist-band of his breeches, so that you
have the whole length of his body, and his
head into the bargain, to come and go upon.
It is true, he in the mean time, will
take the same advantages of you. He may
hit you about the groin, or the belly. I
have known some shot in the thigh, or the
leg, or the private parts. The throat also,
and the head are in themselves vulnerable.
It is no uncommon thing to have an arm
broke, or a splinter struck off the nose, or
an eye shot out; but as in that case, the
ball mostly passes through the brain, and
the man being dead at any rate, the loss
of sight is not greatly felt.
As the Captain spoke, Teague seemed
to feel in himself, every wound which was
described, the ball hitting him, now in
one part, and now in another. At the last
words, it seemed to pass through his head,
and he was half dead, in imagination.
Making a shift to express himself, he gave
the Captain to understand, that he could
by no means undertake the office. What!
said the Captain; you whom nothing would
serve, some time ago, but to be a legislator,
or philosopher, or preacher, in order
to gain fame, will now detract a business
for which you are qualified. This requires
no knowledge of finances, no reading of
natural history, or any study of the fathers.
You have nothing more to do than to keep
a steady hand and a good eye.
In the early practice of this exercise; I
mean the combat of the duel, it was customary
to exact an oath of the combatants,
before they entered the lists, that
they had no enchantments, or power of
witchcraft, about them. Whether you
should think it necessary to put him to his
voir dire, on this point, I shall not say;
but I am persuaded, that on your part,
you have too much honour, to make use of
spells, or undue means, to take away his
life, or save your own. You will leave all
to the chance of fair shooting. One thing
you will observe, and which is allowable
in this battle, you will take care not
to present yourself to him with a full
breast, but angularly, and your head turned
round over the left shoulder, like a weather
cock. For thus a smaller surface being
presented to an adversary, he will be
less likely to hit you. You must throw
your legs into lines parallel, and keep them
one directly behind the other. Thus you
will stand like a sail hauled close to the
wind. Keep a good countenance, a sharp
eye, and a sour look; and if you feel any
thing like a cholic or a palpitation of the
heart, make no noise about it. If the ball
should take you in the gills, or the gizzard,
fall down as decently as you can,
and die like a man of honour.
It was of no use to urge the matter; the
Irishman was but the more opposed to the
proposition, and utterly refused to be after
fighting in any such manner. The Captain
finding this to be the case, dismissed
him to clean his boots and spurs, and rub
down his horse in the stable.
