 | Every Man In His Humour |  |
Act IV, Scene ii
[Enter] COBCOB
[Knocking]
What, Tib!
Tib, I say!
TIB
[Within]
How now, what
cuckold is that knocks so hard?
Oh, husband, is't you? What's the news?
COB
Nay, you have stunned me, i' faith! You ha' giv'n me a knock o' the forehead will stick by me! Cuckold? 'Slid, cuckold?
TIB
Away, you fool, did I know it was you, that knocked? Come, come, you may call me as bad, when you list.
COB
May I? Tib, you are a whore.
TIB
You lie in your throat, husband.
COB
How, the lie? And in my throat too? Do you long to be stabbed, ha?
TIB
Why, you are no soldier, I hope?
COB
Oh, must you be stabbed by a soldier? Mass, that's true! When was Bobadill here? Your captain? That rogue, that foist, that fencing Burgullian? I'll tickle him, i' faith.
TIB
Why, what's the matter? Trow!
COB
Oh, he has basted me, rarely, sumptuously! But I have it here in black and white,
[Shows his warrant]
for his
black and blue, shall pay him. Oh, the Justice! The honestest old brave Trojan in
London! I do honour the very flea of his dog. A plague on him though, he put me once
in a villainous filthy fear; marry, it vanished away, like the smoke of tobacco; but I
was smoked soundly first. I thank the devil, and his good angel, my guest. Well, wife,
or Tib (which you will), get you in, and lock the door, I charge you, let nobody in to
you; wife, nobody in to you: those are my words. Not Captain Bob himself, nor the
fiend in his likeness; you are a woman; you have flesh and blood enough in you to be
tempted: therefore, keep the door shut upon all comers.
TIB
I warrant you, there shall nobody enter here, without my consent.
COB
Nor with your consent, sweet Tib, and so I leave you.
TIB
It's more than you know, whether you leave me so.
COB
How?
TIB
Why, sweet.
COB
Tut, sweet, or sour, thou art a flower,
Keep close thy door, I ask no more.
[Exit COB and TIB, separately]
| Every Man In His Humour | |