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72
Apology for the Dissentients in the State Convention.
[_]
THE preceding was not without its effect at the time; but as the Hudibrastic rhyme had attracted attention and was in the mouths of the people, and the minority continuing to justify the secession it was thought not amiss to follow it up with another scrap in the same vein of irony and burlesque.
AS natural bodies are made up,
Of higher, lower, bottom, top,
In other words of head and tall,
So bodies politick as well,
Of upper, nether, end should be.
Why then indignant do we see,
Such things: Traddle and Humbugum,
And Tadryhash, and hogum mogum,
'Mongst managers of state affairs,
Of which they know no more than bears?
Will not a sample such as these,
With sense not half so much as geese,
Serve properly to represent,
The ignorance by which they're sent,
And shew that in the common weal,
There is a head as well as tail?
Of higher, lower, bottom, top,
In other words of head and tall,
So bodies politick as well,
Of upper, nether, end should be.
Why then indignant do we see,
Such things: Traddle and Humbugum,
And Tadryhash, and hogum mogum,
'Mongst managers of state affairs,
Of which they know no more than bears?
Will not a sample such as these,
With sense not half so much as geese,
Serve properly to represent,
The ignorance by which they're sent,
And shew that in the common weal,
There is a head as well as tail?
73
There's no philosopher but construes,
That thing a prodigy, or monstrous,
Which from the natur'd shape departs,
And has not all its proper parts.
'Twas thus devising, the nineteen,
Who in the apostacy were seen.
When first the question was propos'd
The general government oppos'd;
Because when others got a start,
'Twas right to be th' inferior part,
And for the sake of natural order,
With head above, posteriors vnder,
And least the contrary should prevail,
Did actually themselves turn tail.
That thing a prodigy, or monstrous,
Which from the natur'd shape departs,
And has not all its proper parts.
'Twas thus devising, the nineteen,
Who in the apostacy were seen.
When first the question was propos'd
The general government oppos'd;
Because when others got a start,
'Twas right to be th' inferior part,
And for the sake of natural order,
With head above, posteriors vnder,
And least the contrary should prevail,
Did actually themselves turn tail.
Then why upbraid assemblymen,
For what was modesty in them;
Or why arraign convention members,
For being sort of under timbers,
I'th the state ship, by holding back,
When weightiest interest was at stake,
And still preserving natural order,
Of stem and stern would go no further?
They say themselves in their dissent,
'Twas on this principle they went,
Because in constitution novel,
They could not toss up with a shovel,
To rank of Congress, weavers, coopers,
And every sort of interlopers,
To be a draw-back on affairs,
And lurch the house at unawares.
For what was modesty in them;
Or why arraign convention members,
For being sort of under timbers,
I'th the state ship, by holding back,
When weightiest interest was at stake,
And still preserving natural order,
Of stem and stern would go no further?
They say themselves in their dissent,
'Twas on this principle they went,
Because in constitution novel,
They could not toss up with a shovel,
To rank of Congress, weavers, coopers,
And every sort of interlopers,
To be a draw-back on affairs,
And lurch the house at unawares.
74
I grant there's not a grain of sense,
In what they liberally dispense,
(And marks the heart bad, or the head dull,)
Of constitution wanting schedule
Or inventory, or if you will,
A kind of apothecary bill
Of rights—For is not instrument
Which gives the idea of government,
The schedule or the bill in question,
And gives in article and section—
What right each state has in the union,
And what the whole have in communion?
In what they liberally dispense,
(And marks the heart bad, or the head dull,)
Of constitution wanting schedule
Or inventory, or if you will,
A kind of apothecary bill
Of rights—For is not instrument
Which gives the idea of government,
The schedule or the bill in question,
And gives in article and section—
What right each state has in the union,
And what the whole have in communion?
But still that argument has weight,
Which turns which way it will the pate,
Nor should discarded be a phrase,
Which puzzles so the populace.
The term itself is good enough
In British constitution wove,
A statute which bank'd out the crown,
Whose boundary had not been known—
But where no crown is to oppose,
What there's to do with it, God knows,
No matter, for it answers purpose,
And helps an arguer out in discourse.
Which turns which way it will the pate,
Nor should discarded be a phrase,
Which puzzles so the populace.
The term itself is good enough
In British constitution wove,
A statute which bank'd out the crown,
Whose boundary had not been known—
But where no crown is to oppose,
What there's to do with it, God knows,
No matter, for it answers purpose,
And helps an arguer out in discourse.
I grant I would have studied years,
To raise objections and bug-bears
Before this would have cross'd my wizzen,
As having the least shew of reason;
Or when suggested could believe,
That men such nonsense would receive—
But is there not in all things else,
A kind of toss up, heads and tails,
And great effects do oft arise
From cause too small for human eyes;
Nor can at all times sages tell,
By philosophic lore or spell,
How the inferior means may work,
Which under inexperience lurk.
To raise objections and bug-bears
Before this would have cross'd my wizzen,
As having the least shew of reason;
Or when suggested could believe,
That men such nonsense would receive—
75
A kind of toss up, heads and tails,
And great effects do oft arise
From cause too small for human eyes;
Nor can at all times sages tell,
By philosophic lore or spell,
How the inferior means may work,
Which under inexperience lurk.
When first I heard the phrase I laugh'd,
As if the devil himself had calv'd,
The strange absurdity—forsooth,
“It takes away the rights of both,
The heart and head:” Though by the bye,
No mortal can tell how or why—
Let any man consult his own sense,
And say how liberty of conscience,
Can be restrain'd in an ill hour,
By Congress who have no such power.
Or how the freedom of the press,
Can be molested more or less,
With which they have no more to do,
Than with the Alcoran a Jew.
As well may freedom of the mouth,
Men use to chew provisions with,
Be thought in danger, and jaw bone
Of all dread padlocks save their own.
As if the devil himself had calv'd,
The strange absurdity—forsooth,
“It takes away the rights of both,
The heart and head:” Though by the bye,
No mortal can tell how or why—
Let any man consult his own sense,
And say how liberty of conscience,
Can be restrain'd in an ill hour,
By Congress who have no such power.
Or how the freedom of the press,
Can be molested more or less,
With which they have no more to do,
Than with the Alcoran a Jew.
As well may freedom of the mouth,
Men use to chew provisions with,
Be thought in danger, and jaw bone
Of all dread padlocks save their own.
But still this reasoning good or bad
Shews the position I have made,
That authors of this kind of thesis
Are at the fag-end of their species.
Shews the position I have made,
That authors of this kind of thesis
Are at the fag-end of their species.
76
But whence is it that most of these,
Were of the western country geese?
Because 'tis reasonable that we
The legislative tall tree be.
Let Philadelphia be the head,
And Lancaster the shoulder blade;
And thence collecting in a clump,
A place called Stoney-Ridge the rump,
The tail will naturally stretch,
Across the Alleghany ridge,
While we submit to stubborn fate,
And be the backside of the state.
Were of the western country geese?
Because 'tis reasonable that we
The legislative tall tree be.
Let Philadelphia be the head,
And Lancaster the shoulder blade;
And thence collecting in a clump,
A place called Stoney-Ridge the rump,
The tail will naturally stretch,
Across the Alleghany ridge,
While we submit to stubborn fate,
And be the backside of the state.
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