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D.C.'s Snowstorms

By Teddy D. Vaughn

WASHINGTON — Snow jobs
are a White House specialty, and
Senator Eugene McCarthy and I
were the victims of a fourteen-inch
one last weekend.

Motivated to a fever pitch, I
had made all the necessary preparations
to attend the conference
of Concerned Democrats in Chicago.

When the President heard that
I had finally made a decision to
attend the conference, he forthwith
called up his personal meteorologist-about-town
Rochefoucauld
Rain check to put a wet blanket
on my proposed endeavors.

"Rainy, this is the Prezuhdent,
and ah want you to fix the people
who are going to Chicago this
weekend."

"Right, Mr. President," Rainy
agreed sadistically. "I'll unloose
the fateful winds of Aeolus, the
torrential waters of Neptune, and
the awesome snow job of George,
the Christian snow job god."

"Ah don't know about all that,
Rainy, but the last one does mah
heart good."

And that's how it happened.
The snow began very early on the
morning of Senator McCarthy's
expected announcement. Cabs to
Capitol Hill were at a premium,
and I didn't get one. I canceled
my airline reservations.

Unable to go to Chicago to be
concernedly democratic, a scheming
dissident, and a definite nuisance
to the President, I was forced
to attend the Conference of Unconcerned
Democrats, appropriately
held in Washington.

Just everybody was there. The
agenda was just like that of the
rival convention; only different
Instead of a cocktail party they
had two beer hists, one in the
Lethargy Room, the other in the
Apathy Room. A barbecue replaced
the formal dinner. Instead
of a keynote speaker, everybody
took turns reading voter precinct
lists to the audience. I must
admit, though, that they did it
with verve.

When I left the conference, I
pondered briefly the merits of urbane
renewal vs. Pedernales revival
and settled down to read
Che Guevara's book: "The Importance
of Being Ernesto."