15. XV.
CONVERSES WITH A SOUTHERN SOLDIER.
Camp uv the Looisiana Pelicans, }
December the 11th, 1862.
I hed a conversashen tother day with a fellow-defender
uv the rites uv the South, wich ruther
startled me. I wuz a holdin 4th, with my yoosual
ability, on the blessidnis uv slavery, and wuz, uv
coarse, quotin hevy frum skripter to defend my
position. A member uv our company interruptid
me by remarkin that nacher hed spiled a great
rascal in me by not contribbitin a suffishent
amount uv brains. He continued his remarks:
“Nasby,” says he, “I know slavry is a cuss—
a onmittygatid cuss. I hed 18 niggers, and they
kept me as poor as a skim-milk cheese. The hogs
eat the corn, the niggers eat the hogs, and I lived
on what they left. To defend my property in
these niggers, we seceshed and startid a new guvment.
The new guvment took the corn, the hogs,
the niggers, and finally took me. My oldest dawter
run off with wun defender uv the flag, my wife
with another, and my youngest children is livin
with sum niggers 2 old fer the guverment to take.
I 've had my share uv rites, I hev. Ef there 's
any more comin to me, give em to some poor person
as needs em. I 'm jest more 'n rollin in a
perfooshn uv that kind uv wealth.”
“But,” sez I —
“Ther aint no buts,” sez he. “Yoo 're a Northern
man, and do n't hev niggers. Do n't defend
nigger. Ef I hev the itch, I may sware that itch
is a good thing; but wat sense is ther in yoor
swarin it, onasked and fer nothin. Sech stratejy
borders closely on lunacy. Let us squeeze our
own biles—do n't yoo do it gratooitous. Appolygize
fer your own sins—do n't shoulder ourn. I
may be mean for my own profit, but to act dirty
fer another man's use, and hev him kick ye for
doin it, is a lick ahead uv my comprehenshun.
Durn all sech men.”
And he stawkt indignantly away.
I hev reseevd more letters from frends in my
wunst happy but now distractid home than I kin
anser separately. I shel do it all to wunst, thus:
John M.—Shoemakin wood be a splendid biznis
here, only ther aint no leather. Practice haffsolin
with straw before yoo start.
W. G.—The pay uv a member uv the Mississippi
Legislater is $6 per diem, evry day, paid in
Confedrit 30 per cent. bonds, redeemable at the
pleasure uv the guverment any time within two
centuries. Come along. Almost any body kin git
offis in this state.
P. N.—Ther is a good openin fer a watchmaker
here. I am the only mechanic in this section uv
Mississippy. I fixt the kernel's watch yisterday;
forged a mane-spring out uv a baynet, and for a
chane used a fiddle-string. It do n't jest keep
time, but, ez it ticks, it ansers to bet on poker.
Fetch sum lard ile; tar won't work on watches,
even in this warm climate.
Amos.—The success uv our guverment is shoor.
Finances hez trubbled us, but our Sekretary uv
the Treasury hez bought 2 fast printin-presses,
and a lot uv paper on tick, and we now git all we
want.
