University of Virginia Library

SCENE XI.

—THE BEARS' GROWLERY.
Enter the Three Bears, dragging Little Maid.
Lit. Maid.
Release me, monsters!—Please to let me go!
It's very rude of you to crease me so!
‘Unhand me, ruffians!’ as in many a play
Domestic heroines so often say.
Oh, Fortunatus! if you only knew
The anguish of your Little Maiden true!
Oh, Fortunatus, Fortunatus dear!
Oh, Fortunatus, Fortunatus!

Fortunatus appears suddenly, through trap.
Fort.
Here!
I heard you, many thousand miles away!
Stand off, you scoundrels! let her go, I say!
You won't? Here goes—take that, and that, and that!
[Cutting at them with sword of invincibility.
I'll smash you flatter than a Gibus hat!
Arm'd with this weapon, any foe I'd dare;
Come on, you growling, grisly, gawky bear!

Combat.—Bears defeated.—Just as Fortunatus is going to kill them, Miasma rises, through trap, amid a cloud of miasmatic fumes.— Fortunatus and Little Maid are quite overpowered by their deadly effect.
Mia.
This is a deed I like, and, never loth, do!

Fort.
Ah me!—I faint!

[Faints.
Lit. Maid.
In point of fact, we both do!

[Faints.

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Mia.
So perish all who brave Miasma's will:
My noxious fumes their open nostrils fill!
Fresh Air alone will bring them to, that's clear,
And that's a thing that never ventures here!
That she could penetrate this wood, I doubt.

Fresh Air appears, followed by Health and Happiness.
Fresh A.
I beg your pardon, you can't keep her out.
Where'er she goes, all decent men of sense
Rejoice to feel her gentle influence;
For cleanliness is her presiding feature.

Mia.
Cleanliness? ugh! oh, you disgusting creature!
But why attended thus do you appear?
These two young women, what do they want here?

[Indicating Health and Happiness.
Health.
Oh, Health and Happiness, it's very plain,
Must always follow close in Fresh Air's train.
You know the fairy, Fresh Air, is our mother;
We couldn't well get on without each other.
Both Health and Happiness will make their way
Wherever Fresh Air can assert her sway.

Fresh A.
Foul, poisonous monster, thus away I drive you!
[Waves off Miasma—he cowers.
And you, poor little lovers, I'll revive you!

[Breathes on them—they recover.
Fort.
I'm all alive!

Lit. Maid.
And I, for all their tricking!
If it were ladylike, I'd add, ‘and kicking!’

CONCERTED PIECE, ‘Chillingowullabadorie.’
Mia.
At Fresh Air I'm a railer!
The feather white I show!

Satana.
Oh, what a shame—Miasma's game
Turns out to be ‘No go!’

Fort.
He's clearly growing paler!
As any one can see!

Lit. Maid.
A pasty mixture of white lead
And early gooseberree!

Mia.
I can't pretend to jabber for joy,
All of you know my story.
Hiky! piky! siky! criky!
Chillingowullabadorie!

All.
He can't pretend to jabber for joy, &c.

[Air changes to ‘Crescendo Galop.’
Mia.
Some sensation alteration now is going on, I know!

Fort.
Agitation! agitation! consequent upon a blow!

Lit. Maid.
Approbation! approbation! I delighted am to show!

Satana.
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

Fort.
With a slash and a crash, and a splash and a dash,
And a bang, bang, bang, bang, bang!

Lit. Maid.
With a slash and a crash, &c.

Fort.
Forests right and left are flying!
Very soon you'll find us trying

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If we know
How best to show
A Transformation Scene!