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The Character of a Covetous Citizen

or, A Ready Way to get Riches. A Poem [by Edward Ward]

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Imprimis, I bequeath Five hundred Pound,
To buy, near London, such a Lay-stale Ground.
Item, Two Thousand Pounds I do allot,
To build an Alms-house on th'aforesaid Spot;
Contriv'd commodiously to entertain,
Twenty Old Women, and as many Men.
Item, Ten Thousand Pounds I give, which shall,
Endow my House of Charity withal:

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Blue Gowns, Shifts, Coals, and Candles to provide,
And every one a Groat a Day beside.
Item, Five hundred Pounds, with good intent,
I give to beautifie the Monument.
And that the Mad Folks may be kept more neat,
Five hundred more to make new Bedlam sweet.
Item, Two thousand Pounds, with good design,
I do bequeath, to make Paul's work more fine.
Item, To th'Blue-Coat Hospital I give,
Two hundred Pounds, that my good Name may live,
And place amongst their Benefactors have.
Hoping their Boys will sing me to my Grave.
Item, Ten Pounds I order to be paid,
To each Man Servant, Twenty to my Maid,
For the great Care she'as in my Sickness shown,
And other Reasons to my self best known.
Item, Three hundred Pounds I freely give
Amongst the Poor, within the Ward I live.
A Gown and Cassock to the Parish-Priest,
For his kind Promise of eternal Rest.
A—B—C—D—Exec'tors I appoint,
Of this my Last and only Testament,
That they with all exactness may fulfil,
Each part and Clause of this my dying Will.
When Hand and Seal has giv'n it lawful force,
Next Day he changes, and becomes much worse.
Too weak to stir, he raves upon his Back,
Death why so pale, and Conscience why so black.
Where am I going? Prithee Nurse more Air,
Methinks I'm sinking down the Lord knows where,
He gasps and stretches, strives, but cannot rise,
Then ruttles in the Throat, and rowls his Eyes,
Thus leaves his ill-got-Treasure, and dispairing dies.