The Works of John Hall-Stevenson :: :: University of Virginia Library

Some folks get no more by their reading
And meditations;
Than Apes and Monkeys by their breeding
And observations:
This, I agree,
May be applied either to you or me.

The Fable that comes after
Can only be applied to you;
If it excites a little laughter,
It answers all my view.

An Ape, by trade an imitator,
Had spent the best part of his days;
Like a Reviewer or Translator
Of Farces, Interludes, and Plays;
For ever copying, and itching
To shew his talents in the kitchen.

He would divert you, if you were not nice
And difficult to please,
By cracking lice,
And catching fleas;
Which he would chaw,
And cram into a kitten's maw.

In short,
Jacko had studied many a trick,
Which tricks, instead of making sport,
Would oft'ner make you sick:
Yet he would make you, now and then,
Laugh like the foolishest of men.

The Cook-maid by the fire was fast asleep,
No kind of harm suspecting,
Jacko, the Ape, was playing at bopeep,
Reviewing and reflecting,
Whether from liquor or from whim,
The Cook-maid laid in a strange trim.
Hard-by a razor left upon a chair
By Jackanapes was quickly seiz'd.

The Cook-maid's beard, expos'd and bare,
The grinning villain rubb'd and greas'd;
Then snapp'd his fingers and look'd grave;
Flourish'd his razor, and began to shave.

Jacko proceeded without dread,
Chatter'd, and did not care a fig:
Poor Margery was hack'd and bled,
Like an assassinated Pig.

Rous'd by her pains, like frantic sleepers,
She snatch'd a pan of boiling broth,
Bubbling and running o'er with froth,
And threw it into Jacko's peepers;
Which blinded him, and spoil'd him past all cure,
Both for a Shaver and Reviewer.