University of Virginia Library

Uncommon Relationships

Classroom relationships are
again uncommon. To sit and rap
with a girl is unthought of and any
girl attempting to start a conversation
has her action interpreted as a
sexual advance. "They're afraid of
us," was the reaction of one girl.

Sorrow was expressed because
segregated men and women get
only half a look at the real world.
More interaction and talk is needed.
They conceded, however, that
many girls were scared of men who
talked, fearing that their motivation
was something other than friendship.

Moving from the real world into
the unreal world, the conversation
shifted to the subjects of Fraternities
and State Uism.

Some support for the anti-State
University feeling was found among
these girls, who seemed to feel that
the common state university was no
more than an over-rated high
school. The same cliches develop,
there is no broadening of attitudes,
and the same superficial relationships
that marked high school could
still be found among the college
students. The misconception they
felt, is that a state university would
or even could happen at Virginia.
The instate-out of state student
ratio being almost one to one, thus
breaking down the relationships
and large groups imported directly
from high school.

Fraternities and not coeducation
was seen as the greatest problem.

The next logical step they felt
for the educational process was
coeducation and to prevent a
State-University from forming the
phasing out of fraternities. "There
have been times when I've told my
date that if he planned to take me
to a fraternity party he could either
change his mind or find another
date. I'd much rather sit down and
talk to him."

Fraternity men bloat the images
they have of themselves as the
greatest swingers, drinkers, lovers,
and hell raisers the world has ever
seen. Their balloon was deflated by a
coed who merely commented that
every fraternity party she had ever
been to here was unsophisticated
and sophomoric.

Once again we returned to the
unhealthy effects of the segregated
system. Mary Washington girls who
sit around and say, " 'How-lucky
we are to be here,' hate it." "Some
girls get so weird that its disgusting."

Retrogressing again, expression
of a desire to be talked to made
itself known. "Men feel that girls
have all those people to choose
from so why bother trying to fight
the mob. The only problem is that
everyone thinks that way." Fight
the mob, it may be worth the
struggle.

Men they feel can be stabilizers.
Most men see black and white, and
the women can fill in the grey.
These girls felt that in order for
Virginia men to be able to cope
with women in real situations, they
needed coeducation.

The deep and lasting need they
expressed, was not that coeducation
must necessarily occur. They
all felt that there was a definite
need for a re-evaluation by most
men of their perceptions of women.
Dialogue, the sharing of thoughts
and emotions, is crucial. These women
emphasized the need for one
to one personal relationships, not
now formed in the Virginian environment.
The question is not whether
to co educate or not to co educated,
but whether to communicate
or not.