University of Virginia Library

15. CHAPTER XV.

Previously to the occurrence of the scene at
the “Bold Dragoon,” Elizabeth had been safely
reconducted to the Mansion-house, where she was
left, as its mistress, either to amuse or employ
herself during the evening, as best suited her own
inclination. Most of the lights were extinguished;
but as Benjamin adjusted, with great care
and regularity, four large candles, in as many
massive candlesticks of brass, in a row on the
sideboard, the hall possessed a peculiar air of
comfort and warmth, contrasted with the cheerless
aspect of the room she had left, in the academy.

Remarkable had been one of the listeners to
Mr. Grant, and returned with her resentment,
which had been not a little excited by the language
of the Judge, somewhat softened by reflection
and the worship. She recollected the youth of
Elizabeth, and thought it no difficult task, under
present appearances, to exercise that power indirectly,
which hitherto she had enjoyed undisputed.

The idea of being governed, or of being compelled
to pay the deference of servitude, was absolutely
intolerable; and she had already determined
within herself, some half-dozen times, to make
an effort, that should at once bring to an issue the
delicate point of her domestic condition. But as
often as she met the dark, proud eye of Elizabeth,
who was walking up and down the apartment,
musing on the scenes of her youth, and the change
in her condition, and perhaps the events of the
day, the housekeeper experienced an awe, that
she would not own to herself could be excited by
any thing mortal. It, however, checked her advances,
and for some time held her tongue-tied.
At length she determined to commence the discourse,
by entering on a subject that was apt to
level all human distinctions, and in which she
might display her own abilities.

“It was quite a wordy sarmont that Parson
Grant give us to-night,” said Remarkable.—
“Them church ministers be commonly smart
sarmonizers; but they write down their idees,
which is a great privilege. I don't think that by
nater they are sitch tonguey speakers for an offhand
discourse, as the standing-order ministers
be.”

“And what denomination do you distinguish as
the standing-order?” inquired Miss Temple, with
some surprise.

“Why, the Presbyter'ans, and Congregationals,
and Baptists too, for-ti-'now; and all sitch
as don't go on their knees to prayer.”

“By that rule, then, you would call those who
belong to the persuasion of my father, the sittingorder,”
observed Elizabeth.

“I'm sure I've never heer'n 'em spoken of by
any other name than Quakers, so called,” returned
Remarkable, betraying a slight uneasiness: “I

should be the last one to call them otherwise, for
I never in my life used a disparaging tarm of the
Judge, or any of his family. I've always set store
by the Quakers, they are sitch pretty-spoken, clever
people; and it's a wonderment to me, how
your daddy come to marry into a church family,
for they are as contrary in religion as can be.
One sits still, and for the most part, says nothing,
while the church folks practyse all kinds of ways,
so that I sometimes think it quite moosical to see
them; for I went to a church-meeting once before,
down country.”

“You have found an excellence in the church
liturgy, that has hitherto escaped me,” said Miss
Temple. “I will thank you to inquire whether
the fire in my room burns: I feel fatigued with
my day's journey, and will retire.”

Remarkable felt a wonderful inclination to tell
the young mistress of the mansion, that by opening
a door she might see for herself; but prudence
got the better of her resentment, and after
pausing some little time, as a salvo to her dignity,
she did as desired. The report was favourable,
and the young lady, wishing Benjamin, who was
filling the stove with wood, and the housekeeper,
each a good night, withdrew.

The instant that the door closed on Miss Temple,
Remarkable commenced a sort of mysterious,
ambiguous discourse, that was neither abusive nor
commendatory of the qualities of the absent personage;
but which seemed to be drawing nigh,
by regular degrees, to a most dissatisfied description.
The Major-domo made no reply, but continued
his occupation with great industry, which
being happily completed, he took a look at the
thermometer, and then, opening a drawer of the
sideboard, he produced a supply of stimulants,
that would have served to keep the warmth in his

system, without the aid of the enormous fire he
had been building. A small stand was drawn up
near the stove, and the bottles and the glasses necessary
for convenience, were quietly arranged.
Two chairs were placed by the side of this comfortable
situation, when Benjamin, for the first
time, appeared to observe his companion.

“Come,” he cried, “come, Mistress Remarkable,
bring yourself to an anchor in this here chair.
It's a peeler without, I can tell you, good woman;
but what cares I, blow high or blow low, d'ye see,
it's all the same thing to Ben. The niggers are
snug stowed below, before a fire that would roast
an ox whole. The thermometer stands now at
fifty-five, but if there's any vartue in good maple
wood, I'll weather upon it, before one glass, as
much as ten points more, so that the Squire, when
he comes home from Betty Hollister's warm room,
will feel as hot as a hand that has given the rigging
a lick with bad tar. Come, Mistress, bring
up in this here chair, and tell me how it is you
like our new heiress.”

“Why to my notion, Mr. Penguillum—”

“Pump—Pump,” interrupted Benjamin; “it's
Christmas-eve, Mistress Remarkable, and so d'ye
see, you had better call me Pump. It's a shorter
name, and as I mean to pump this here decanter
till it sucks, why you may as well call me Pump.”

“Did you ever!” cried Remarkable, with a
laugh that seemed to unhinge every joint in her
body: “You're a moosical creater, Benjamin,
when the notion takes you. But as I was saying,
I rather guess that times will be altered now in
this house.”

“Altered!” exclaimed the Major-domo, eyeing
the bottle, that was assuming the clear aspect of
cut glass with astonishing rapidity; “it don't

matter much, Mistress Remarkable, so long as I
keep the keys of the lockers in my pocket.”

“I can't say,” continued the housekeeper, “but
there's good eatables and drinkables enough in
the house for a body's content—a little more sugar,
Benjamin, in the glass—for Squire Jones is
an excellent provider. But new lords, new laws;
and I shouldn't wonder if you and I had an unsartain
time on't in footer.”

“Life is as unsartain as the wind that blows,”
said Benjamin, with a most imposingly moralizing
air; “and nothing is more vari'ble than the
wind, Mistress Remarkable, unless you happen to
fall in with the trades, d'ye see, and then you
may run for the matter of a month at a time, with
studding-sails on both sides alow and aloft, and
with the cabin-boy at the wheel.”

“I know that life is disp'ut unsartain,” said Remarkable,
compressing her features to the humour
of her companion; “but I expect there will
be great changes made in the house to rights; and
that you will find a young man put over your
head, as well as there is one that wants to be over
mine; and after having been settled as long as
you have, Benjamin, I should judge that to be
hard.”

“Promotion should go according to length of
sarvice,” said the Major-domo; “and if-so-be that
they ship a hand for my birth, or place a new
steward aft, I shall throw up my commission in
less time than you can put a pilot-boat in stays.
Thof Squire Dickens,” this was a common misnomer
with Benjamin, “is a nice gentleman, and
as good a man to sail with as heart could wish, yet
I shall tell the Squire, d'ye see, in plain English,
and that's my native tongue, that if-so-be he is
thinking of putting any Johnny-raw over my
head, why I shall resign. I began forrard, Mistress

Pretty-bones, and worked my way aft, like
a man. I was six months aboard a Garnsey lugger,
hauling in the slack of the lee-sheet, and
coiling up rigging. From that I went a few trips
in a fore-and-after, in the same trade, which after
all, was but a blind kind of sailing in the dark,
where a man larns but little, excepting how to
steer by the stars. Well! then, d'ye see, I larnt
how a topmast should be slushed, and how a topgallant-sail
was to be becketted; and then I did
small jobs in the cabin, such as mixing the skipper's
grog. 'Twas there I got my taste, which
you must have often seen, is excellent. Well,
here's better acquaintance to us.”

Remarkable nodded a return to the compliment,
and took a sip of the beverage before her;
for, provided it was well sweetened, she had no
objection to a small potation now and then. After
this observance of courtesy between the worthy
couple, the dialogue proceeded as follows:

“You have had great experunces in your life,
Benjamin; for, as the scripter says, `they that go
down to the sea in ships see the works of the
Lord.' ”

“Ay! for that matter, they in brigs and
schooners too; and it mought say the works of the
devil. The sea, Mistress Remarkable, is a great
advantage to a man, in the way of knowledge, for
he sees the fashions of nations, and the shape of a
country. Now, I suppose, for myself here, who
is but an unlarned man to some that follows the
seas, I suppose that, taking the coast from Cape
Ler-Hogue as low down as Cape Finish-there,
there isn't so much as a head-land, or an island,
that I don't know either the name of it, or something
more or less about it. Take enough, woman,
to colour the water. Here's sugar. It's a
sweet tooth, that fellow that you hold on upon

yet, Mistress Pretty-bones. But as I was saying,
take the whole coast along, I know it as well as
the way from here to the Bold Dragoon; and a
devil of an acquaintance is that Bay of Biscay.
Whew! I wish you could but hear the wind blow
there. It sometimes takes two to hold one man's
hair on his head. Scudding through the Bay is
pretty much the same thing as travelling the roads
in this country, up one side of a mountain, and
down the other.”

“Do tell!” exclaimed Remarkable; “and does
the sea run as high as mountains, Benjamin?”

“Well, I will tell; but first let's taste the grog.
Hem! its the right kind of stuff, I must say, that
you keeps in this country; but then you're so
close aboard the West-Indees, you make but a
small run of it. By the lord Harry, woman, if
Garnsey only lay some where between Cape
Hatteras and the Bite of Logann, but you'd see
rum cheap! As to the seas, they runs more in
lippers in the Bay of Biscay, unless it may be in
a sow-wester, when they tumble about quite
handsomely; thof its not in the narrow seas that
you are to look for a swell; just go off the Western-Islands,
in a westerly blow, keeping the land
on your larboard hand, with the ship's head to
the south'ard, and bring to, under a close-reef'd
topsail; or mayhap a reef'd foresail. with a foretopmast-staysail;
and mizzen-staysail, to keep her
up to the sea, if she will bear it; and lay there
for the matter of two watches, if you want to see
mountains. Why, good woman, I've been off
there in the Boadishey frigate, when you could
see nothing but some such matter as a piece of
sky, mayhap, as big as the mainsail; and then
again, there was a hole under your lee-quarter,
big enough to hold the whole British navy.”

“Oh! for massy's sake! and wan't you afeard,
Benjamin? and how did you get off?”

“Afeard! who the devil do you think was to
be frightened at a little salt water tumbling about
his head? As for getting off, when we had enough
of it, and had washed our decks down pretty
well, we called all hands, for d'ye see, the watch
below was in their hammocks, all the same as if
they were in one of your best bed-rooms; and so
we watched for a smooth time; clapt her helm
hard a-weather, let fall the foresail, and got the
tack aboard; and so, when we got her afore it, I
ask you, Mistress Pretty-bones, if she did'nt walk?
didn't she! I'm no liar, good woman, when I
say that I saw that ship jump from the top of one
sea to another, just like one of these squirrels,
that can fly, jumps from tree to tree.?'

“What, clean out of the water!” exclaimed Remarkable,
lifting her two lank arms, with their
bony hands spread in astonishment.

“It was no such easy matter to get out of the
water, good woman, for the spray flew so that
you could'nt tell which was sea and which was
cloud. So there we kept her afore it, for the matter
of two glasses. The First Lieutenant he cun'd
the ship himself, and there was four quarter-masters
at the wheel, besides the master, with six forecastle
men in the gun-room, at the relieving
tackles. But then she behaved herself so well!
Oh! she was a sweet ship, mistress! That one
frigate was well worth more, to live in, than the
best house in the island. If I was King of England,
I'd have her hauled up above Lon'on bridge,
and fit her up for a palace; because why? If any
body can afford to live comfortably, his majesty
can.”

“Well! but Benjamin,” cried his listener, who

was in an ecstasy of astonishment, at this relation
of the steward's dangers, “what did you do?”

“Do! why we did our duty, like good hearty
fellows. Now, if the countrymen of Mounsheer
Ler Quaw had been aboard of her, they would
have just struck her ashore on some of them small
islands; but we run along the land until we found
her dead to leeward off the mountains of Pico, and
dam'me, if I know to this day how we got there,
whether we jumped over the island, or hauled
round it: but there we was, and there we lay,
under easy sail, fore-reaching, first upon one tack
and then upon t'other, so as to poke her nose out
now and then, and take a look to wind'ard, till
the gale blow'd its pipe out.”

“I wonder now!” exclaimed Remarkable, to
whom most of the terms used by Benjamin were
perfectly unintelligible, but who had got a confused
idea of a raging tempest; “it must be an
awful life, that going to sea! and I don't feel
astonishment that you're so affronted with the
thoughts of being forced to quit a comfortable
home like this. Not that a body cares much for't,
as there's more house than one to live in. Why,
when the Judge agreed with me to come and live
with him, I'd no more notion of stopping any time,
than any thing. I happened in, just to see how
the family did, about a week after Miss Temple
died, thinking to be back home agin night;
but the family was in sitch a distressed way, that I
could'nt but stop awhile and help 'em on. I
thought the sitooation a good one, seeing that I
was an unmarried body, and they were so much
in want of help; so I tarried.”

“And a long time have you left your anchors
down in the same place, mistress; I think you
must find that the ship rides easy?”

“How you talk, Benjamin! there's no believing

a word you say. I must say that the Judge
and Squire Jones have both acted quite clever, so
long; but I see that now we shall have a specimen
to the contrary. I heer'n say that the Judge
was gone a great 'broad, and that he meant to
bring his darter hum, but I did'nt calcoolate on
sitch carrins on. To my notion, Benjamin, she's
likely to turn out a desput ugly gall.”

“Ugly!” echoed the Major-domo, opening his
eyes, that were beginning to close in a very suspicious
sleepiness, in wide amazement; “by the
Lord Harry, woman, I should as soon think of
calling the Boadishey a clumsy frigate. What
the devil would you have? arn't her eyes as bright
as the morning and evening stars! and isn't her
hair as black and glistening as rigging that has
just had a lick of tar! does'nt she move as stately
as a first-rate in smooth water, on a bow-line!
Why, woman, the figure-head of the Boadishey
was a fool to her, and that, as I've often heard
the captain say, was an image of a great Queen;
and arn't Queens always comely, woman? for
who do you think would be a King, and not choose
a handsome bedfellow?”

“Talk decent, Benjamin,” said the housekeeper,
“or I won't keep your company. I don't
gainsay her being comely to look on, but I will
maintain that she's likely to show but poor conduct.
She seems to think herself too good to
talk to a poor body. From what Squire Jones
had tell'd me, I some expected to be quite captivated
by her company. Now, to my reckoning,
Lowizy Grant is much more pritty behaved than
Betsy Temple. She wouldn't so much as hold discourse
with me, when I wanted to ask her how
she felt, on coming home and missing her mammy.”

“Perhaps she didn't understand you, woman;

you are none of the best linguister; and then Miss
Lizzy has been exercising the King's English
under a great Lon'on lady, and, for that matter,
can talk the language almost as well as myself,
or any native born British subject. You've forgot
your schooling, and the young mistress is a
great scollard.”

“Mistress!” cried Remarkable; “don't make
one out to be a nigger, Benjamin. She's no mistress
of mine, and never will be. And as to speech,
I hold myself as second to nobody out of New-England.
I was born and raised in Essex county;
and I've always heer'n say, that the Bay State
was provarbal for pronounsation!”

“I've often heard of that Bay of State,” said
Benjamin; “but can't say that I've ever been in
it, nor do I know exactly where away it is that it
lays; but I suppose that there's good anchorage
in it, and that it's no bad place for the taking of
ling; but for size, it can't be so much as a yawl
to a sloop of war, compared with the bay of Biscay,
or mayhap, Tor-bay. And as for language,
if you want to hear dictionary overhauled, like a
log-line in a blow, you must go to Wapping, and
listen to the Lon'oners, as they deal out their
lingo. Howsomever, I see no such mighty matter
that Miss Lizzy has been doing to you, good
woman, so take another drop of your brew, and
forgive and forget, like an honest soul.”

“No, indeed! and I shan't do sitch a thing,
Benjamin. This treatment is a newity to me, and
what I won't put up with. I have a hundred and
fifty dollars at use, besides a bed and twenty
sheep, to good; and I don't crave to live in a
house where a body mus'nt call a young woman
by her given name to her face. I will call her
Betsy as much as I please; its a free country,
and nobody can stop me. I did intend to stop

while summer, but I shall quit to-morrow morning;
and I will talk just as I please.”

“For that matter, Mistress Remarkable,” said
Benjamin, “there's none here who will contradict
you, for I'm of opinion that it would be as
easy to stop a hurricane with a Barcelony hankerchy,
as to bring up your tongue, when the
stopper is off. I say, good woman, do they grow
many monkeys along the shores of that Bay of
State?”

“You're a monkey yourself, Mr. Penguillum,”
cried the enraged housekeeper, “or a bear! a
black, beastly bear! and an't fit for a decent woman
to stay with. I'll never keep your company
agin, sir, if I should live thirty years with the
Judge. Sitch talk is more befitting the kitchen
than the keeping-room of a house of one who is
well to do in the world.”

“Look you, Mistress Pitty—Patty—Pretty-bones,
mayhap I'm some such matter as a bear,
d'ye see, as they will find who come to grapple
with me; but dam'me if I'm a monkey—a thing
that chatters without knowing a word of what it
says—a parrot, that will hold dialogue, for what
an honest man knows, in a dozen languages;
mayhap in the Bay of State lingo; mayhap in
Greek or High Dutch. But dost it know what it
means itself? canst answer me that, good woman?
Your Midshipman can sing out, and pass
the word, when the Captain gives the order, but
just set him adrift by himself, and let him work
the ship of his own head, and, stop my grog, if
you don't find all the Johnny-raws laughing at
him.”

“Stop your grog indeed!” said Remarkable,
rising with great indignation, and seizing a candle;
“you're groggy now, Benjamin, and I'll quit

the room before I hear any of your misbecoming
words from you.”

The housekeeper retired, with a manner but
little less dignified, as she thought, than the air
of the stately heiress, muttering, as she drew the
door after her, with a noise like the report of a
musket, the opprobrious terms of “drunkard,”
“sot,” and “beast.”

“Who's that you say is drunk?” cried Benjamin,
fiercely, rising and making a movement towards
Remarkable. “You talk of mustering
yourself with a lady! you're just fit to grumble
and find fault. Where the devil should you larn
behaviour and dictionary? in your damned Bay
of State, ha!”

Benjamin here fell back in his chair, and soon
gave vent to certain ominous sounds, which resembled,
not a little, the growling of his favourite
animal, the bear itself. Before, however, he was
quite locked, to use the language that would suit
the Della-cruscan humour of certain refined critics
of the present day, “in the arms of Morpheus,”
he spoke aloud, observing due pauses between
his epithets, the impressive terms of “monkey,”
“parrot,” “pic-nic,” “tar pot,” and “linguisters.”

We will not attempt to explain his meaning, nor
connect his sentences, and our readers must be
satisfied with our informing them, that they were
expressed with all that coolness of contempt that
a man might well be supposed to feel for a monkey.

Nearly two hours passed in this sleep, before
the Major-domo was awakened by the noisy entrance
of Richard, Major Hartmann, and the
master of the mansion. Benjamin so far rallied
his confused faculties, as to shape the course of the
two former to their respective apartments, when

he disappeared himself, leaving the task of securing
the house to him who was most interested in
its safety. Locks and bars were but little attended
to in the early day of that settlement; and so
soon as Marmaduke had given an eye to the enormous
fires of his dwelling, he retired. And with
this act of prudence closes the first night of our
tale.