The Poetical Works of Thomas Moore :: :: University of Virginia Library

Having sent off the troops of brave Major Camac,
With a swinging horse-tail at each valorous back,
And such helmets, God bless us! as never deck'd any
Male creature before, except Signor Giovanni—
“Let's see,” said the R*g---t (like Titus, perplex'd
With the duties of empire,) “whom shall I dress next?”

He looks in the glass—but perfection is there,
Wig, whiskers, and chin-tufts all right to a hair ;

193

Not a single ex-curl on his forehead he traces—
For curls are like Ministers, strange as the case is,
The falser they are, the more firm in their places.
His coat he next views—but the coat who could doubt?
For his Y*rm---th's own Frenchified hand cut it out;
Every pucker and seam were made matters of state,
And a Grand Household Council was held on each plait.

Then whom shall he dress? shall he new-rig his brother,
Great C*mb*rl---d's Duke, with some kickshaw or other?
And kindly invent him more Christian-like shapes
For his feather-bed neckcloths and pillory capes.
Ah! no—here his ardour would meet with delays,
For the Duke had been lately pack'd up in new Stays,

194

So complete for the winter, he saw very plain
'Twould be devilish hard work to unpack him again.

So, what's to be done?—there's the Ministers, bless' em!—
As he made the puppets, why shouldn't he dress 'em?
“An excellent thought!—call the tailors—be nimble—
“Let Cum bring his spy-glass, and H*rtf---d her thimble;
“While Y*rm---th shall give us, in spite of all quizzers,
“The last Paris cut with his true Gallic scissors.”

So saying, he calls C*stl*r---gh, and the rest
Of his heaven-born statesmen, to come and be drest.
While Y*rm---th, with snip-like and brisk expedition,
Cuts up, all at once, a large Cath'lic Petition
In long tailors' measures, (the P---e crying “Well-done!”)
And first puts in hand my Lord Chancellor Eld---n.
[OMITTED]

That model of Princes, the Emperor Commodus, was particularly luxurious in the dressing and ornamenting of his hair. His conscience, however, would not suffer him to trust himself with a barber, and he used, accordingly, to burn off his beard.—“timore tonsoris,” says Lampridius. (Hist. August. Scriptor.) The dissolute Ælius Verus, too, was equally attentive to the decoration of his wig. (See Jul. Capitolin.)— Indeed, this was not the only princely trait in the character of Verus, as he had likewise a most hearty and dignified contempt for his Wife.—See his insulting answer to her in Spartianus.